Bricoleur
by A Heart Wide Open
Summary: (Fr) - Someone who starts building something with no clear plan, adding bits here and there, cobbling together a whole while flying by the seat of their pants. Post Series Finale - A series of connected one-shots, of life in progress, the way we see it.
1. Bookends

Rick Castle couldn't stop smiling. It was ridiculous really, he must have looked like a lovesick fool, but he grinned even more when he thought about it. Wasn't he? Her hand jiggled in his, capturing his attention as they walked down the hall towards their home.

"You're completely ridiculous," she teased, shaking her head in amusement. His wife. He couldn't stop grinning.

"You mock, Kate Beckett, but you're looking a little smitten yourself," he raised their joined hands to gesture towards the tiny bundle, snug against her mother's body in the soft cotton carrier Kate had donned that morning. "Face it, we're both done for."

Kate huffed out a quiet laugh, caressing the baby's body through the carrier. "Fine. But only because I'm hormonal, in love with my baby, and your goofiness is endearing."

He set the baby's seat on the floor, as they approached their front door, and let the bags slide from his shoulder. Drawing her close, the baby cradled gently between them, he dropped a kiss to Kate's forehead. "You ready for this? You know everyone is in there and it's about to get crazy. My mother said she may actually die from the, and I quote, 'sheer torment of anticipation'. She's getting more melodramatic with age."

Kate giggled and pulled away slightly to poke his ribcage. "Be nice to your mother, Rick Castle. She had to squeeze your giant head out a hundred years ago, and she's completely entitled to fawn over her granddaughter."

He brought a hand to his chest and feigned indignation. "Ouch. That got me, right here, Beckett."

Kate grinned, and shook her head at their mutual giddiness. It was forgivable, at least for today. She raised up on her toes to fit her mouth to his, and kissed him with as much quiet passion as permitted with a sleeping baby between them. He chased her lips as she dropped back to her heels, and settled his forehead against hers. Castle closed his eyes and they stood, still and quiet, breathing in the baby sweet scent of their brand new daughter, and the muted sounds of joy through the door behind them.

"I love you," she exhaled softly. "So much."

He hummed his agreement, and dropped another soft kiss to her lips. "I love you too, Kate."

The baby began to wriggle against Kate's chest, and a tiny squeak of discontent emerged as she blinked once, twice, and found her daddy's face moving in close so she could see him clearly. "Are you feeling left out, baby? Daddy loves you too." He stroked her dark hair softly, and chuckled as she let out another angry squeak and began to root against the softness of Kate's shirt for her next meal. "Somebody's hangry."

Kate laughed and bounced slightly to settle the baby's increasing frustration. "We should go in. Feed this one and start preparing for the hell she'll one day bring us when they've all spoiled her rotten."

Castle sighed dramatically and Kate scoffed. "Oh Please. You look for every opportunity possible to show her off, and you punk out for your big moment." She stuck her tongue out and maneuvered the newborn from the carrier, slipping the flailing creature into her father's arms. "Get in there Daddy. Show them what you made." She winked over her shoulder, as she slipped past him to open the door. She heard them before her eyes caught sight of them.

"Mommy," the pounding sounds of socked feet on the hardwood made her grin as she turned towards the noise, in time to be pummeled by the weight of small bodies against her own.

"Hi guys. I missed you so much." She dropped kisses to three dark heads and they were gone as quickly as they came, racing towards their father and baby sister. "And I see you missed me too." Shaking her head in amusement she turned to accept a long hug from a grinning Alexis.

"You know, when I told you I wanted a baby sister, I didn't expect you to keep them coming."

Kate barked out a laugh and squeezed the red head tighter. "Shut up. I'm done. I was done after the boys, but that little one was a perfect little accident."

"And eew," Alexis groaned, pulling away from her step-mother. "Now, let me hold my sister." Rick dropped a kiss to his oldest daughter's head and gently placed the baby in her arms. Bending down with a groan to properly greet Lily and her brothers. Despite age creeping up on them both, faster and faster each year, Rick was still a completely and utterly devoted father, never giving up an opportunity to build a blanket fort, or wrestle on the floor with the boys. She saw the winces, and heard the effort it took at times, his body had taken a beating in his 54 years, and his knee had never quite been the same since his skiing accident all those years ago. She loved him all the more for how much of himself he gave to their children, despite the discomfort it caused him. He loved them all so fiercely. She snapped out of her daydream at the soft hand on her shoulder and turned to see her father behind her. "Hi Dad," she smiled. She would never quite get over the sight of her father getting older. It scared her, knowing he could be gone in an instant, but she forced back the thought and squeezed him tighter. "How are you feeling?"

Jim chuckled, "Shouldn't I be asking you that, Katie?"

Kate laughed and led her father by the arm, toward the couch, easing herself slowly down to the cushions. She was feeling every bit her 43 years, and a long, hard labour the day before had taken more out of her than she realized. "I'm good Dad. Happy, tired, sore. Mostly happy."

"You look it, sweetheart." He wrapped an arm around her shoulder and pulled her close. "I'm proud of you, you know. You've got a great family over there," he gestured to where Rick stood, Jake perched on a hip, Reese hanging from his back, and Lily leaning against him gently as she gazed at Alexis and the tiny baby with starry eyes. "That's never easy, but you and Rick make it look like it's the simplest thing in the world." Kate laughed and leaned her head on her father's shoulder.

"Oh wow, I can tell you now that none of it is easy. Being a mom, a wife, juggling work and the kids, now another baby, life is the furthest thing from easy right now, but it's so worth it." She sat up, reached out her arms as her dark haired daughter turned and walked towards her, snuggling into her mother's free side on the couch. "How you doing Tiger-Lily? You think we should keep your baby sister?" Lily giggled, and looked longingly at the baby, as she changed hands again, to the waiting arms of her grandmother.

"She's so pretty Mommy. Like a little doll. I can't wait to hold her."

"Soon, sweet girl. As soon as Gram has her turn, she's all yours." Kate ran her fingers through Lily's dark hair, gently easing the tangles left over from sleep, and Lily sighed. She had such a gentle and giving spirit, her firstborn. She loved so openly, and took great joy in taking care of anyone and anything. She was already a fantastic big sister to her twin brothers, but when Kate and Rick had told her the baby they were expecting was a girl, she had been elated. A living doll for her to love on. The baby let out a wild shriek and Martha gave a dramatic flourish.

"I understand completely, my precious one. It is a difficult life you have, isn't it?" The tinkling of her jewelry and the vibrant red of her hair, never changing, captured the baby's attention once again, quieting the squalls, as Martha made her way to the couch, placing the wildly unhappy infant into Kate's outstretched arms.

"I think it's just about time for this little one to have some lunch," Martha chuckled. "She's certainly inherited the lungs of a young diva in the making. My genes, of course."

"I'll remember that at 2am when she's screaming for something to eat," Kate grinned, pulling the baby to her chest, momentarily stilling the tiny thing's movements. "What do you think, little one? Are you ready to see your big sister? Can you hang on for a few more minutes? You're such a tough little thing aren't you?" The baby stilled and listened to the sound of her mother's soft words. "That's it my baby. Have a little visit with Lily and then you can eat."

Lily's face lit up at the chance to finally, finally hold the baby, and she stretched out her arms, scooting backwards on the couch to free herself from her mother's side. Kate stood and gently eased the baby into Lily's waiting arms. Her first and her last, together. She blinked back the sudden onslaught of tears, stupid hormones, and smiled at her girls. "There you go Tiger-Lily. You're doing a great job."

Lily beamed up at Kate, and cradled the baby close, hushing her with soft noises, as she set her blue eyes, on her sister's face. "Hi Poppy. Welcome home."


	2. Bullets and Babies

It's Alexis who speaks first. The surgeons are in the middle of the next comment about vital organs or no lasting damage, or something, he's too groggy and pain addled to pick up on most of what they are saying. Maybe. He isn't quite sure if his mind picked up what he thinks it did, but he's looking at Kate, half passed out in the bed next to his, to see if she's paying closer attention than he is. She wasn't, but her eyes are wild, and glazed over from the meds, struggling to make sense of what's happening. But it's Alexis who speaks first.

"Did you just say fetus? There's a fetus?"

Castle still can't seem to connect the dots to the picture his mind is trying to show him, and he raises the arm not strapped to his chest, to try and calm his daughter. The effort is more than he can handle, and the arm drops weakly to the bed. He tries for words instead. Her name comes out in stuttered syllables and she turns to look at him, shock, anger and pain all etched into the porcelain of her skin. "It's gonna be fine." He's not sure what he's reassuring her over, but he needs to get it together so he can figure out what's happening. "Can we start over, from the top. Slowly, so those of us who are heavily medicated can follow along this time?" He's proud of himself for successfully injecting some levity in the situation, and he looks over at Kate to see if she's proud of him too. She's panicky and Jim hovers at her side trying to calm her. He needs to tune in to this conversation, quickly. He knows he's missing something important, his stupid brain just won't look past the blissed-out calm from whatever is in the IV attached to his hand. "Kate, honey, I'm right here." Kate's eyes search frantically for him, and Jim must sense her desperation, because he plants both hands on the mattress of his daughter's bed, and shoves until she's within arms reach of her husband. Castle isn't sure which one of them is more mentally present in the room at the moment, but he can see she's in pain and he reaches out slowly, to touch her cheek, her right arm is in a sling similar to his. He'll make a joke later about his and hers bullet wounds, but right now something is going on, and her cheek is all he can reach. She calms slightly at the contact, and he sees the unspilled tears in her eyes. He tries to smile at her, to reassure her, but he's just so damn tired, and the tall, blonde doctor is clearing her throat.

"Mr. Castle, we removed the bullet from your right shoulder and repaired the damage to the surrounding muscle and ligaments. You should regain full motion of your arm with physiotherapy, over the next few months." The blonde nodded her head to her colleague, who took over the debrief. "Mrs. Castle was extremely lucky. The first bullet entered the upper right chest, collapsing the right lung before exiting with no further damage. The second bullet entered the right abdominal wall, and exited cleanly. No vital organs were damaged, and the bullet missed the uterus. It's too early to say at this time, but there is no physical damage that would present any complications to the pregnancy or the baby, provided everything continues to go well.

Kate makes a sound, somewhere between a moan and a strangled shout. He squeezes her hand in his, and stares blankly at the doctors looking at him expectedly. He finally connects the dots. It's bad. It's so very, very bad. Only it's not bad, it's amazing and wonderful, and so, so bad. She's pregnant. Kate's pregnant, and there's a baby, and bullets, and damage, and oh God, they made a baby. He can hear his mother murmuring reassuring words and he blinks and looks for Kate. Martha is hunched over Kate's bed, Kate's face in her hands and their faces inches apart. She is caressing his wife's cheeks, wiping tears from her eyes, and whispering the soothing sounds only a mother can make. Jim stands beside her, looking so worn and old, and Castle finally sees the toll having a cop for a daughter takes on him every day. Alexis is at his side, her head down on his shin as she cries quietly. This is not how this is supposed to go. Kate is supposed to present him with a box containing a piece of plastic with a little plus sign. They're supposed to laugh and cry, and he's supposed to pick her up and swing her around in his arms. They're supposed to invite their family and friends over and tell them all together. He's supposed to get manly slaps on the shoulder from Esposito, and a firm shoulder squeeze from Ryan, that's supposed to mean something like an unspoken welcome back to the new baby club. He's supposed to listen to Lanie squeal, and watch Alexis hug Kate and tell her how much she's always wanted a baby brother or sister. He's supposed to see Jim's face light up at the news of his first grandchild, see his mother's joy at another little one to finally follow her into the limelight. It's not supposed to be like this. Bullets missing their baby, the baby they didn't know about until two minutes ago, threatening the tiny life still, and every day until Kate's body has recovered enough for both mother and child to thrive. His heart wrenches at the thought of what losing this baby would do to him, and quickly snaps from his morbid thoughts at Kate's shout of pain. She's sitting upright, Jim holding her up from behind, a doctor pushing a pillow to her chest and Martha holding a basin at her chin. Kate wretches again, and the second doctor adjusts something in the IV.

Castle mentally chastises himself for his foray into these sombre thoughts, and focuses everything he has, with as much effort as he can muster, on his wife. His beautiful, broken, terrified, wonderful, amazing wife. The mother of his unborn child. "Kate," he barks out, startling the room into shocked silence. Everyone looks at him, everyone but Kate. The wretching has ceased and Jim eases her gently back to the bed. Castle calls her name again. She struggles for a deep breath, and slowly turns to look at him.

"Rick," she moans, and he tangles his fingers into her hair, hauling himself to the edge of his bed and closer to her. "Oh God, Rick. I'm so sorry."

"Hey, Kate. Look at me," he demands firmly. "Honey, look at me." She drags her hazel eyes to meet his, tears spilling down her cheeks, and he wipes them away with the pad of his thumb. "There's nothing to be sorry about Kate."

She shakes her head and tries to pull away, but he tightens his fingers in her hair. He wishes he could hold her hand, or pull her into a hug, but their 'his and hers' bullet wounds have made that impossible and he won't let her run from him. "Kate, there's nothing to be sorry about. You heard the doctor, the baby is fine. You're fine, and the baby's fine and everything is going to be fine." He hates how inane he sounds, but he can't muster up any more effort for his bestselling author words. They're all just going to have to settle for recently shot, terrified husband and father-to-be words, which are going to be inane. He curses himself again for the rambling turn his inward thoughts have taken, and pushes his focus back to Kate. She's looking at him, her beautiful eyes wide and afraid, the tears still brimming, but no longer spilling over. "We're having a baby, Kate. A perfect, beautiful, baby, and everything is going to be fine."

She looks at him for another moment before letting her head relax to the pillow behind her, but she doesn't break the contact. He tries so hard to smile for her, but he's getting sleepy again, and he's not sure if he even managed to make his mouth move. He must have, though, because she's breathing evenly again, and he can see the smile in her eyes, even if her mouth isn't showing it. He hears Alexis speak again, "how far along is she?" but he's just so damn tired, he can barely make himself hear the words let alone look at her while she makes them. He watches Kate's face, as she struggles to pay attention, her blink of surprise at the dark- haired doctor's mumbled comment about "appears to be about 10 weeks," and finally, the blankness as she lets go and drifts back to sleep, leaning into the palm of his hand, cradled against the pillow behind her head. He makes a mental note that his good shoulder will probably hurt like hell later, after hours of being in such an awkward position, but he can't bring himself to break the only contact he can manage with the woman he loves, and he's fairly certain she wouldn't want him to let go either. He succumbs to the pull of the meds and exhaustion, visions of a dark-haired baby, coaxing him into dreams. A baby. They're having a baby.


	3. Fight the Future

"You're insane," Kate grinned, tongue between her teeth as she flicked a handful of soapy bubbles towards her husband's face, as they washed the last of the dinner dishes. "There is no way time travel is a real thing."

"Beckett," Castle gasped, taking a step back in mock horror. "I can't believe you just said that. You've seen the evidence first hand. Don't be a hater."

Kate threw her head back and barked out a laugh, startling the kids from their positions on the living room floor. Lily, reading quietly on her belly, head perched in her hands and feet swinging distractedly above her, merely shifted her eyes to their direction. She was used to her parents' behaviour by now, not much phased her, and she was halfway through the copy of _Pride, Prejudice and Zombies_ , Jake had given her for her birthday. The boys never liked to miss out on a joke, and they quickly abandoned the game of Candyland they had been playing with Poppy, in favour of getting in on their parents' fun. Poppy scowled in their direction and grunted unhappily, dragging herself to her feet to chase after her favourite boys.

"What's funny, Mommy?" Jake grinned, sliding on socked feet to the stools at the breakfast bar. Reese slid after his brother, crashing into the side of his stool and shoving Jake to move over and make room. Jake giggled and crawled over to the perch beside, letting Reese clambor up to the newly vacant seat. His brother grinned maniacally, apparently that was wordless boy speak for 'thanks', or some strange twin thing, but Kate shook her head at their antics and dried her hands on a towel before leaning over the counter in front of her boys.

"I was going to say Daddy's being goofy, but I think all three of my boys are pretty nuts."

"Hey," Castle joked, sidling up beside her at the counter, hauling Poppy up to sit beside him, atop the breakfast bar. "Mommy's being mean to Daddy, Poptart. You better tell her to be nice, or Santa will fill her stocking up with coal."

Poppy giggled and set both hands on Castle's cheeks, loving the way he made silly faces to make her laugh. "Mommy be nice 'my Daddy. He my Daddy. Santa not come if you mean." She beamed at Castle, who shot Kate a smug look, before dropping a kiss to Poppy's dark curls.

"That's my girl."

"I'm so sorry, Baby," Kate joked dramatically, reaching over to tickle Poppy's chubby toddler belly, grinning at the squeals of delight. "Daddy is just so silly sometimes, isn't he?"

The boys watched with amusement, totally enamored with their little sister's happiness. It was unusual really, at least from what Kate had seen from her little interaction with children before her own. Her boys were seven-year-old rough and tumble, best of friends, grubby fingers and giggles when anyone said the word 'butt' or any derivative of the human posterior, but they adored everything about the little girl, and were gentle and completely happy to be entertaining her. They had their moments of annoyance at being pestered by a three-year-old, especially when they were engrossed in a video game, or closed up in Rick's office to watch cartoons Poppy wasn't quite ready for, but for the most part they loved to be with her. Kate reached out to squeeze their small hands, and winked at the twins. Lily sighed, in the living room, and carefully marked her place in the book before rising to her feet to join her family in the kitchen.

"You guys are all a little crazy, I think," she sighed again, but Kate saw through the façade of annoyance, to the playful heart of her firstborn. She ran a hand through Lily's long dark hair, and pulled her in to her side, tucking her in under her mother's arm.

"Sorry Tiger-Lily. Did we interrupt your reading?"

Lily shrugged and looked up at Kate. "It's okay. I just finished the chapter. What's everyone giggling about?"

"Daddy silly," Poppy blurted, provoking Rick into more belly tickles, while the rest looked on in amusement.

"Yep. We're all laughing at Daddy," Kate grinned, sticking her tongue out at her husband, who continued the routine of mock annoyance. "He still thinks time travel is a real thing, even after Mommy tells him over and over again, that it's impossible."

Poppy and the boys giggled at their mother's playfulness, and Lily just rolled her eyes, the perfect mini-Kate, if Castle had ever seen one. "It is totally possible, and Mommy and I have even met a man from the future."

"Simon Doyle was not from the future Castle," Kate groaned, for real this time, and she shifted slightly so she could look at him straight on. "He was just a man, who had some…" she quickly glanced at the kids, watching her expectantly, as she searched for diplomacy, "issues."

"He was totally from the future," Castle shook his head and grinned at the kids. "He knew things."

"I know things too, Castle. Like there's no such thing as time travel. Plus, he was totally wrong about everything he told you."

"Actually," Castle rebutted, and Kate groaned inwardly at falling victim to her husband's bait. "He wasn't necessarily wrong at all." He focussed his attention once again to the kids, lowering himself to the counter in front, so he could rest on forearms in front of the boys. Poppy patted him on the head with a chubby hand, apparently permission to continue, and Kate huffed in annoyance beside him. "Simon Doyle said he was from the year 2035 and that Mommy and Daddy were married and still lived here in New York."

"He also said I was a Senator, and I am most assuredly, not a Senator," Kate rebutted.

"Yet," Castle winked at the boys, still loving how he managed to get under Kate's skin with very little effort. "You're not a Senator, yet."

"There's still time, Mommy," Reese joined in. "2035 is still 9 years away. Lots can happen in 9 years, right Dad?"

"You bet Peanut," Castle grinned, reaching out to rustle his eldest son's hair. "Mommy could definitely be a senator by then."

"He also said you wrote serious literature," Kate continued her assault on his theory. "I still don't see anything serious coming from your imagination any time soon."

"I'll show you serious, Captain," Rick lowered the timbre of his voice, waggling his eyebrows suggestively. "Wait until bedtime and I'll show you just how serious my imagination can be."

"Are they talking about sex?" Jake poked at Reese's shoulder. Castle shot to his feet.

"Wait, what?"

"Castle," Kate hissed, through clenched teeth.

"Who's talking about sex? How do you know about sex?" Rick sputtered, shocked. "Nobody's talking about sex."

"Stop saying sex," Kate hissed again.

Poppy looked between them all, baffled at the drastic turn the conversation had taken, and Lily groaned and buried her face in her hands.

"I have an idea," Castle blurted, attempting to recover the situation. "For a book. It's not my usual genre, that's all I meant."

Kate's expression softened and she reached out to set hers atop his. "You never told me that."

Castle shrugged self deprecatingly, "I wanted to flesh it out first, see if there was anything there before I pitched it to anyone."

Beckett rose up on her bare toes and kissed his cheek softly. "It'll be great Babe, I have complete faith in you." Lily sighed again, and Kate took pity on the ten-year-old, the smirk once again finding it's way to her face. "But you're forgetting the most important piece of evidence against your time traveller theory."

Castle took her cue and resumed his mock defensive stance, winking once again at Poppy, to draw her back to the silliness. "Oh yeah, and what's that?"

"Simon Doyle said we lived in New York with our three children. Three, Castle. Why don't you go ahead and do a head count right now and tell me what number you come up with." She folded her arms across her chest in triumph, satisfied she had finally settled the debate.

"That's simple," Castle dismissed, with a wave of his hand. "It's semantics, really."

"I can't believe I'm saying this," Kate groaned, "but how is it semantics, really?"

"What's today's date Tiger-Lily?" Castle questioned the girl, her head cocking as she was drawn into the conversation.

"Um, it's December 15th," Lily offered. "Two thousand and twenty-six."

"That's right," Castle grinned at his daughter. "And how old are you kids, Jakey?"

"Lily just turned ten last week," Jake grinned at his sister. "Reese and I are six and a half."

"I free," Poppy blurted again. "I free, Daddy."

"That's right Poptart. You are three. Good job." Poppy beamed at the praise from her father, and watched him intently as he continued his argument.

"We've already established that the year was, or actually is yet to be, 2035, which Reese has so astutely determined to be nine years away. For the sake of accuracy, and since 2026 is almost over, we'll say eight years. Why don't you tell us how old you will be in eight years, Peanut."

"I don't know how old Lex is, but she'll be super old," Reese began, smiling happily at his parent's twin mutters of indignation at the backhanded insult. "Jakey and I will be," he paused to count on his fingers.

"Fifteen," Jake stage whispered beside him, bringing a scowl to Reese's face.

"I know!" Reese huffed. "Let me do it."

"You're doing great, Baby," Kate brushed a lock of hair from his forehead and shot Jake a disapproving look. The boy shrank back at his mother's expression.

"I free," Poppy shrieked, cutting the tension in the room, with her gift of perfect timing. She was her grandmother's girl, through and through.

Castle chuckled and pulled his daughter closer to his chest. "You, munchkin are three now, but in eight more years Poppy will be?" he looked back at Reese, their struggling mathmatician, for confirmation.

"Eleven," Reese exclaimed, proudly.

"Yay Reesey," Poppy clapped her hands for her brother.

"Eleven is correct. Now, most importantly, Peanut Butter, how old will Lily be?"

Lily frowned slightly, unsure of the direction the conversation was taking, and saw a similar expression cross her mother's face.

"Um, Lily will be," he paused, counting on his fingers. "Eighteen?" he looked to his mother, who smiled and nodded her agreement.

"Aha!" Rick shouted, drawing a delighted shriek from Poppy, and a startled Kate pulled a hand to her chest in reflex. Some small part of him hated that she still recoiled, still covered her very first bullet wound when she was surprised, but he recovered quickly, as did Kate, when the kids' giggles rang through the kitchen. "Eighteen! And where will you be when you are eighteen, Tiger-Lily?"

Kate finally caught on to the direction of the conversation and mentally berated herself for issuing a throw down when it came to Richard Castle and his myriad of fantastical theories.

"Prison?" Lily asked innocently, and pride exploded in Kate's chest like fireworks. Oh how much her daughter resembled her, in every way. No one else but her, and occasionally Alexis, could get that slack jawed expression on Castle's face, and yet, Lily had pulled it off effortlessly, while maintaining perfect composure. Martha would be so proud. She made a mental note to herself to call her mother in law later, to tell her all about her little divas.

"Prison?" Castle repeated. "You better not be. I meant college Lil, Jeez."

"Huh," Lily faked surprise. "Who says I'm going to college?"

Kate struggled to stifle the laugh as Castle's expression moved from confusion to sheer horror, all the way back to confusion in the space of five seconds. "Okay, you, I know you've somehow inherited your mother's witchy powers of distraction, so we're going to leave this conversation for another day. Don't think we're not done here though." He eyed his daughter warily, and she finally cracked, the dimple in her cheek appearing, as a smile blossomed on her face. Kate released a laugh and hauled Lily in for a tight hug.

"My baby. I'm so proud."

Castle muttered illegible sounds behind her, and Kate could hear Poppy giggling with the boys. "Anyway. Before I was so rudely interrupted by the Becketts over here," he gestured wildly towards Kate and Lily, and the two giggled softly, heads together conspiratorially. "I was about to prove a point. In the year 2035, where, or is it when, Simon Doyle is from, you and I live in New York with our three children, of which we have five. Alexis is already out, and in 2035, when Miss Lily is 18 years old, and in college, she won't be living with us, she'll be living in dorms, or the fanciest apartment her Daddy's money can buy, leaving us living here, in New York with Princess Poppy and the Dynamic Duo. Let's do that head count now shall we, Kate. One, two," he gently tapped Jake and Reese's dark heads of hair. "And three," more belly tickles for Poppy, who launched herself happily into Rick's arms. "Game, set, match."

Lily rolled her eyes and Kate just stared at him, unmoved by his passionate argument. "It should disturb me, how much you've worked this out, but sadly, I am no longer shocked by the levels of crazy you are capable of. There is no such thing as time travel, and you still can't prove it, no matter how much you argue." Castle grumbled again, mostly for show, and Kate stepped forward to plant a kiss on his cheek. "I'll tell you what. In 9 years, if the energy wars have come and gone, and I'm a Senator, and Lily's away at college when your serious literature comes out, I'm giving you the right to say 'I told you so.'"

"That's all I ask," he grinned and tugged her arms to wrap around his neck, kissing her hard. The kids groaned and scattered, small feet pounding on the staircase as they escaped to their rooms.

"I won this time. You're it for bathtime duty." Kate swatted his ass with a tea towel and darted, laughing towards their bedroom, dodging his grabbing hands.

"I'll get you later Kate Beckett," he shouted towards her retreating form. "Just you wait."

She turned back as she reached the doorway, bracing her hands on the jamb and leaning her head on the side, demurely. "I look forward to it."


	4. The Butt-Crack of Dawn

She probably should have known, Rick Castle was their father after all, but boys were not quiet. Ever. Especially when they were trying to be. If they were quiet, something bad was about to go down, so she was stuck in a permanent catch 22; unholy silence, or neverending noise. At the moment, it was the noise. Kate turned her head slowly towards her nightstand and cracked an eye to see if the terrible twosome had infiltrated her bedroom, but the darkness was still. It didn't even matter what time it was, it was half past oh-dark thirty, for her, and she was not impressed. She briefly considered reaching for her phone, to check for an accurate time, but the longer she stayed still and quiet, the more likely Rick was to think she was still sound asleep, and get up with the toddlers himself. She waited, but felt no movement from his side of the bed. The crash from the vicinity of the kitchen finally had her huffing out a sigh, and rolling over to shove him awake. If she was up, they were both up. His side of the bed, however, was empty, and he appeared to have been gone for a while. She sighed again, and considered rolling over to go back to sleep, but nature was shouting, and she needed to use the washroom. Kate slid her legs off the side of the bed and padded to the ensuite. Today was one of those days, bodyslammed into wakefulness, fearing the chaos she was about to enter, that she wanted to shoot Richard Castle for knocking her up with twin boys.

It was like the double whammy of difficulty, when it came to parenting. They never sat still, managed to destroy a room, like the little hurricanes they were, just by being in it for a moment, were constantly dirty, and she couldn't quite figure out how, and they were always into something they weren't supposed to be into. They had no fear, and unlike Lily's quiet evaluation of every situation, no apparent common sense. They could goad each other into just about any trouble, without a second thought. She had walked in the door at dinner time, the week previous, and found Jake perched on top of the play table, a leg slung over the railing at the top of the stairs, preparing to slide down. She had no idea how they had managed to work the table through the doorway of their bedroom, or drag it to the railing, but they figured it out, and who knows what would have happened if she hadn't come home at that moment. Rick had been in the office, taking a phone call from Gina, and in the five minutes he had been gone, the little monsters had prepared to face down death, yet again. She had screamed, startling Jake back down to the table, and torn up the stairs to grab a hold of them both. Rick had come running when he heard the noise, but he visibly shrunk as she descended the stairs, glaring holes through him, a boy hanging limply under each arm. She read him the riot act for leaving them unattended, reminding him that they were entirely unlike Alexis and Lily, and could not be trusted for a second out of sight. Then she found the number of a child safety company and had them boy-proof the loft. She wasn't sure she wanted to think about what the toddlers had gotten up to that she hadn't been there to witness.

Kate sighed again, brushed her teeth quickly, and returned to the bedroom. It was still dark. She groaned unhappily and reached for her phone, checking to see what ungodly hour it was, and was struck into awareness by the date stamp on her lock screen; May 16, 2023, 5:16 am. Jake and Reese's birthday. Three years ago, at 5:02 am, a squalling Reese came barreling into the world, followed six minutes later, by an equally irate Jake. They were identical, to the point that no one could tell them apart for the first two months of their life. No one but her, that is. She knew every difference in the tone of their voices, every freckle on each of their tiny bodies, every crease, every wrinkle, every direction of every hair on their head, and every twinkle in their tiny eyes. They were absolutely perfect in every way, and she knew them intrinsically. She hated how Rick pouted every time he struggled to identify one of his boys, so she made sure to dress them with subtle differences; enough that she could kiss him good morning, tell him Jakey wanted his daddy, and hand him a boy with a green pacifier strapped to his sleepers. She'd wave Reese's little hand and make a show of sticking the blue pacifier in his mouth, and all day long, Rick never stumbled. She didn't think he ever caught on to her little tricks; he never mentioned it to Alexis when she had asked him how he told them apart, but one could never tell with Rick Castle. Maybe he was humoring her, humoring him. Either way, it made him happy until the day the boys personalities grew into more than the newborn eating machines they had been for the first few months, and he no longer needed her hints. Jake was the vocal one; always voicing his displeasure with every situation, and there were a lot of situations he did not like. Reese was more contemplative, taking it all in before deciding that he hated it, or just following his brother's lead. He liked sleep more than Jake, and Jake liked to play on his tummy more than Reese had, but both boys so loved their daddy. He was their best friend, playmate, and plaything, all rolled into one. The man who had been surrounded with females his whole life, finally had his boys. And he was in Heaven.

He loved his daughters, without question, but there was something about seeing him with their sons that had her heart racing, and her palms sweating like some horny teenager. He was irresistible as a Daddy, it was a superpower, and he freaking knew it. He'd be on the floor, covered in baby drool, squealing boys crawling over him, using his chest as a drum for their tiny fists and Castle would wink at her. She melted like a little girl meeting a Disney princess for the first time. She fell in love with him over and over again every day, the last three years especially, watching him with their little boys. Her babies. She blinked back a wave of emotion at the memories. Her sweet, beautiful, wonderful, amazing boys were three years old today, and she loved them desperately. Her exhaustion gone, she strode to the door, and reached for her robe, just as it burst inward and her birthday boys spilled inside, followed by their sheepish, and apparently apologetic father.

A twin chorus of 'Mommy' rang out and Kate fell to her knees to catch the boys in her arms. "Good morning, my babies." She smacked exaggerated kisses to each of their chubby cheeks, and nibbled their tiny necks for good measure, loving the sound of their happy squeals. "I think something special was supposed to be happening today, but I just can't remember what it is. Do you remember what day it is, Daddy?"

"Hmmmm," Rick played along, scratching his chin in mock thoughtfulness. "I don't know. Do we have dentist appointments?"

"I don't think so. Oh, is it grocery day?"

The boys giggled in her arms and Reese reached out to grab her cheeks in his pudgy hands. "It's my birfday Mommy." Jake bounced beside his brother. "Mine too, mine too."

"It is?" Kate gasped with feigned surprise, inciting a new round of giggles. "No way! Why didn't you tell me?"

"Silly Mommy," Jake continued bouncing. "You never forget birfdays."

Kate reeled Jake in and leaned down to nibble his belly loudly, over his favourite superhero shirt. She was going to have to hide it soon, to ease him into a new favourite. She wasn't sure how much longer it was going to fit him, and there would be hell to pay on that day, if she didn't have a backup plan.

"Daddy's making pancakes," Reese shouted, grinning happily, and clapping his hands. "I love pancakes."

"I know you do Peanut Butter," Kate grinned, accepting Rick's outstretched hand to rise to her feet with a groan. She ignored the smirk on her husband's face, focusing instead on running her long fingers through the boys' hair. They needed hair cuts, she'd have to remind herself to make an appointment at the kiddie salon they loved, later that day. She had taken the day off to spend the day with the kids, and the boys were playing hooky from pre-school, they'd take the city by storm, lunch, haircuts and a trip to the museum. They loved their dinosaurs, all three of her boys. She grinned at Rick, and gestured toward the office. "Mommy's going to get dressed, and we'll all have breakfast."

Kate made quick work of her clothes, slipping on a pair of jeans and a pale beige sweater, running her fingers through her sleep tousled hair, and looked herself over in the full length mirror. Not bad. She couldn't go on hiding her belly for much longer, she was relieved the test results of the amnio had come in the mail the day before. It had been a shock to discover she was pregnant, nearly five months ago; two weeks after the twins were born, she had scheduled Castle's vasectomy herself. She wasn't sure how to feel about it initially, but Castle's machismo at the power of his 'boys' had her reaching for her gun the second he opened his mouth. She was 43 years old, and a mother of 3, hell she was a grandmother already, she had turned off the childbearing part of her brain and focussed on the family she had. But fate had other plans, as Rick so loved to tell her. They had kept the news of the pregnancy mostly to themselves. Their family knew, Kate had leaned heavily on Martha the past few months with the fears she had for her unborn baby. It was risky, for both mother and child at Kate's age, and she already loved their baby so much. Now that they knew everything was fine, that their baby was healthy, they would be able to share their news with everyone they loved.

Kate ran a hand lovingly over her small belly, and checked herself over once more. She took a few minutes to add the necessary concealer to the dark rings under her eyes; having children came at a price, she mused to herself; finished off with mascara and eyeliner, and strode into the office in socked feet. Her family sat in wait. At some point, Lily had emerged, dressed in a pretty, flowered tunic and leggings, her shoulder length dark hair already brushed. Her girl was nothing if not studiously responsible. Rick rose and gestured towards the bedroom before slipping away to get dressed, himself. "Good morning Tiger-Lily," Kate reached for her daughter's hand. "Did you have a good sleep?"

"Mm-hm," her daughter hummed, smiling. Kate had no idea how she and Rick had managed to create a morning person, in their child, they were both grumpy and out of sorts in the mornings, despite Kate's tendency to rise with the sun. "Mommy?"

"Yeah, Sweet Girl?" Kate stroked Lily's soft cheek, and smiled at her daughter's tentative expression.

"Are you going to the museum today?"

Kate nodded and rolled her eyes at the thump Reese made as he jumped from the couch to the floor. "You're going to hurt yourself Peanut. Be careful, please." She turned back to Lily, "Sorry Baby. Daddy and I were planning on taking the boys today, but we may end up in the hospital instead." Her voice rose in warning as another thump sounded through the office. Jake had the good sense to at least appear chastened. "Would you like to come with us? You are more than welcome to play hooky like the rest of us." Kate winked and stuck a tongue between her teeth when her daughter grinned shyly.

"Am I allowed?"

"Of course, sweetheart," Kate ran her hands through Lily's hair again, she would never get over how soft the little girl's hair had been since the day she was born. It was unnatural. "We would love for you to come with us, wouldn't we boys?" her voice grew stern again, and Reese looked at her sheepishly from his perch atop his father's desk. "It may be your birthday Reese Montgomery Castle, but that does not mean you won't get a time-out. You too Jake, so don't even think about it."

"Sorry Mommy," echoed in unison, just as Rick emerged from the bedroom, looking delicious in an open flannel button down, white tee and jeans. He cocked his head in amusement at her appreciative perusal of his body, and gave the unspoken promise of 'later' with his wink.

"Are you monkeys in trouble already? Take it easy on your poor Mommy, it's still early. You have a whole day of Shenanigans ahead." The boys giggled and clamored down from their acrobatics. "Now, who wants breakfast?"

Lily was the first out the door, bolting for the breakfast table, Jake and Reese close behind. "I wanna win," Jake shouted, veering his course as Reese cut left for the other side of the room. Kate lunged as Jake tripped and hit the floor hard on his knees. She grabbed him under the arms and made vrooming noises as she carried him to the table, attempting to stave off the inevitable crying jag, and her efforts paid off. Apparently making oneself sound like an idiot was distracting enough, and Jake forgot about his attempts to make it to the breakfast table before the others. Kate was exhausted already, and they had barely been up for an hour.

The table had been meticulously laid. Rick must have crawled out of bed long before the boys to set up the beautiful birthday spread. Sippy cups were filled with juice, giant muffins on a plate, ready to eat, and the smell of pancakes and coffee, warming until they were ready. "This looks amazing, Babe," Kate smiled at her husband, and leaned in to kiss Jake on the cheek while Reese regaled Lily with a retelling of his 'giant monster bug' dream from the night before. Lily giggled at her little brother, and held out her juice cup in congratulations for his victorious defeat over the creatures. Kate laughed softly and took her place next to Rick at the table, reaching out her hands as he handed her a steaming mug of coffee. "My hero," she inhaled the bitter scent of her favourite latte. "You're okay too I guess," she winked, and squeezed Castle's knee affectionately.

"I wanna cheers too," Jake whined, and Kate sighed, holding out her coffee mug.

"Cheers, Jakey. Happy birthday to my favourite bug champions."

"Mine was a clown," Jake corrected, turning his attention to his muffin, and Kate stifled the grin as Rick's head popped up in concern.

"What about clowns?"

"Relax, Daddy," Kate poked his side. "Super-Jakey defeated the evil clowns last night. You're safe for another day."

"Jake, my man," Castle sighed with exaggerated relief. "I owe you one, Buddy." Jake giggled and shoved a chunk of muffin in his mouth. Kate could see Castle cringe, she'd have to ask him later how many times the kid choked in a day. "So, museum later, what's on tap for the morning, guys?" He made a face at the kids as Kate yawned loudly. "We better make sure Mommy gets a nap today, or she'll be super cranky, later."

"I agree," she replied, tiredly. "Is now too soon?"

"You okay?" Castle turned in his chair, the teasing quality of his voice replaced by the concerned and doting husband she knew so well.

"Relax, Babe," Beckett leaned over and kissed his cheek, settling in to rest her head on his shoulder. "I just didn't sleep well, and it was an extremely early morning, today."

"Sorry," he murmered, against her forehead. "I tried to corral them, but they're determined little buggers, and they were excited this morning."

"Don't be sorry," Kate sighed back. "It's their birthday. They're allowed to be excited, and I can handle one super early morning a year. God, I feel old."

Rick laughed at his wife's whine. "If it makes you feel any better, you're more beautiful now than the day I met you."

"Sweet talker," she whispered, wrapping a hand around his bicep to pull her chair closer to his. "You're full of shit, but I appreciate the sentiment."

"Don't make disparaging comments about my wife, Captain Beckett."

"Sorry," Beckett smirked, lifting her head again, to kiss his stubbly jaw. "I won't do it again."

"You better not."

"Are you guys going to make kissy face all day, or are we going to do something?" Lily teased from across the table.

"Kissing is gross," Reese scrunched up his nose in distaste.

"Oh yeah?" Kate challenged, pushing herself to her feet and scooting around the table to grab hold of her firstborn son. She smacked loud kisses all over his face as he squealed and writhed in delight. "Who's gross now, huh, Bud?" She dropped a final kiss on top of his head and took a quick glance out the corner of her eye to gauge Jake's expectation of a kiss attack, but the boy was more focused on picking the blueberries out of his muffin, so she returned to her seat. Maybe they were growing out of their sibling jealousy stage. She wasn't sure why that made her feel sad suddenly. Her boys were growing up. Soon they'd be too old for kiss attacks. She was extremely annoyed at herself for becoming maudlin, and letting the damn hormones get the best of her. Being tired was not helping her situation at all. "I have a suggestion."

Rick smiled and took her hand, bringing her fingers to his lips for a gentle kiss. "And what may that be, my lady?"

"How about a movie morning? Big bed or blanket fort in the living room, birthday boys' choice."

"Big bed!" Jake bolted up from the table. "I call beside Mommy." He was off before anyone else could get a word in.

"That's okay, Daddy is more comfy," Reese shrugged. "His belly is squishy."

"Hey," Castle shouted, indignantly as the little boy made way for his parent's bedroom. Kate laughed and caressed his check.

"Poor baby. If it makes you feel any better, I'm killing the belly game right now."

Castle pouted momentarily before setting a large hand on Kate's protruding bump. "You win. You are rocking the baby belly this morning. She's a little fighter, isn't she?"

"Is it a girl?" Kate looked up to the wide eyed joy of her oldest daughter. "It's a baby sister?"

She couldn't speak through the sudden thickness in her throat. That look of pure wonder was so full of love, Kate was afraid she'd cry if she tried to open her mouth. Their Lily was remarkable.

"It is a baby sister, indeed," Castle rescued her. "What do you think about that, sweetheart?"

"It's so, so, so, so awesome," Lily crowed happily. "I get a baby sister."

Kate laughed at the enthusiasm of her almost 7 year old, she was such an old soul for such a little person. "I'm so glad you're happy Baby. I guess asking Santa for a baby sister since your brothers were born has worked out for you, huh?"

"He is magic Mommy. Santa can do anything."

"Oh Santa did something, alright," Kate smirked at her husband. "It was definitely magic."

"Are you guys coming, or what?" Jake bellowed from the bedroom. "I wanna watch Trolls."

"Again?" Castle moaned. "We've seen that movie a hundred times. Why don't we watch something else?"

"Birthday boys' choice, Daddy," Kate squeezed his shoulder, in apology.

"You're just going to fall asleep two minutes into it. You get to miss the whole thing."

"That's my cross to bear," she winked, reaching for Lily's outstretched hand to follow her to the bedroom, Castle close at their heels. She should have been shocked to see the movie cued up on the not so stowed, stowable television Rick had installed in their bedroom when she had been pregnant with Lily, but nothing her sons did came as a surprise anymore.

Kate slid back into bed, sighing with relief at the soft cushion of their bed. Jake curled himself up in her arms, pillowing his head beside hers; Lily stretched along the bottom of the bed, her head resting on her father's outstretched leg. Reese simply dropped where he was, feet resting on Kate's thighs, and his head to Castle's midsection, looking at his father expectantly, nearly purring when Rick dropped a hand to his son's back and began to scratch.

"Oh Mommy," Lily exclaimed suddenly, bolting upright. "It's perfect."

"What's perfect?" Kate sighed, the comfort surrounding her drawing her exhausted body closer to sleep.

"Just like the movie," Lily nearly whispered, her voice filled with something akin to wonder.

"What's just like the movie, Lil?" Rick asked, watching as she scooted around to face her mother.

"Princess Poppy. Just like in Trolls. Our baby is just like Princess Poppy."

"I don't understand Baby. How is your baby sister just like Princess Poppy?" The boys flew into action, and Kate curled in to protect herself from their potential for flailing limbs. When none came, she opened her eyes to see all three of her children kneeling before her, almost expectantly.

"We havin' a sister, Mommy?" Reese asked, cautiously.

"She is just like Princess Poppy," Jake shouted.

"Do you know what's going on?" Kate eyed her husband warily. "What the heck am I missing?"

"Trolls love Poppy," Jake continued, ignoring his parents. "Poppy is pretty and she dances."

"Poppy makes everyone happy, Mommy," Lily filled in. "Everyone loves her and she makes them all better, just because she's Poppy. Our baby is just like that."

Kate couldn't stop the swell of emotion from bringing tears to her eyes. She reached out and drew Lily close to kiss her forehead. "That's beautiful sweetheart." She gave Rick a silent smile, one of gratitude for their beautiful family, of pride for all they had accomplished, and of how much she loved them all. She saw him swallow back his own emotions and he yanked the boys back, covering his emotion with playfulness, dropping kisses to the boys' dark heads.

"You're great kids, you know that? We love our little Tiger-Lily, and our Peanut Butter, and our Super-Jakey, so much."

Kate reached for his hand and drew it to her belly, where their youngest daughter grew. "Don't forget our Princess Poppy."

* * *

 _My teeth actually hurt after writing this one, but this has been playing out in my head since the day I watched the series finale. Let's call this, tying it all together with a pretty little bow. Thanks so much for all your kind reviews. I'm having so much fun, and an insane amount of catharsis, writing the fluffy future verse of my headcanon. I actually spend a whole morning doing math, just to get it all right. ;) Having three kids myself, two of them boys, I can safely say there are days I question my sanity and my choices, and that boys are a whole new breed of crazy. Then they go to sleep and I check in on them and I could just squeeze them to death, I love them so much. Then they wake up and we do it all over again the next day. Kids are freaking hard, and mothers are imperfect creatures, who sometimes, happen to feel a little selfish and frustrated. So, this one is a lot of experience with a lot of "holy shit two boys at once is insane," for good measure. 'Cause anyone who can do that, is my freaking hero. I not-so-lovingly began referring to my mornings as the "butt-crack of dawn" after a solid four years of sleepless nights. Not even joking. From the time my oldest son was born, to the time my youngest son was 2 and finally sleeping through the night, a span of four years; I didn't sleep longer than 3 hours a night, and mornings were my Vietnam._


	5. The Twilight Zone

Richard Castle had always loved watching Kate sleep. She was so peaceful, so still, and so unburdened by all the hurts she carried; her own, and those she had taken on, from the people she lived to help. The lines and creases of her face disappeared, and she made the most adorable huffing sighs every now and then that made him want to kiss her. He felt privileged to be allowed to see such an uninhibited and unguarded side of Kate Beckett; she allowed so few into her personal space, he was so grateful she had given all of herself to him. Even if it took four years. Every second he spent with her, was worth it.

At this moment, however, watching her sleep was like vinegar on an open wound. A bullet wound to be more precise. In the bed beside his, she slept fitfully. Her face was pale and waxy, the same stark colour as the sheets she slept in; her lips almost bloodless from tension and trauma. Her free hand was fisted, the pale green blanket covering her, clutched in her white knuckled grasp. She whimpered, in pain or fear, he couldn't tell, and he wanted nothing more than to gather her up in his arms and kiss it all away for her. He wasn't sure if he should wake her; it would help if it was a nightmare plaguing her, but it would be much worse if it was pain. At least in sleep the pain was masked, hidden behind a gauzy haze as her body worked to heal itself.

He watched instead, looking for the answers in her sounds, her movements. He couldn't do much else, one armed and connected to various machines at his bedside, but he was damned if he wasn't going to try. The day had been exhausting for both of them. Waking in the hospital alone, Kate nowhere in sight was the most terrifying moment of his life, he wasn't sure anything could ever top it. Even watching her heart stop all those years ago in the ambulance wasn't nearly as horrible as all the scenarios that ran through his head as he woke to his daughter's tears, and his mother's hand stroking his hair. He was sure she was dead when he saw Jim standing vigil near the window, watching his daughter's husband resurface, silently. Martha knew her son so well, and quickly assured him that Kate was alive, in surgery but alive, and he was able to settle back and wait for her to come back to him.

Alexis had made arrangements, she told him. Kate would be brought straight to this room after surgery, not the standard recovery room. She had known how badly Kate would react, to wake and not immediately see Rick's face. She was harder to convince without solid evidence, and no one sitting at her bedside could make her believe her husband was alive unless she saw it with her own eyes. He could see Ryan sitting in a chair outside the door, guarded and defensive, and Alexis assured him that they would have a team in place until Vikram gave them the all clear; the confirmation that Loksat was well and truly shut down permanently. She told him how the boys had been on their way for drinks, hearing the report of shots fired in their building over the car's comm system. Ryan and Espo had found them, unconscious in a pool of their combined blood, clinging to life. The boys had saved them. As soon as they had entered the hospital, they took a post; standing guard outside the surgical bays as doctors saved their lives. When he saw Esposito join his partner on the other side of the door, he knew Kate was on her way in.

She remained under the anesthetic for an hour after their reunion. Castle had watched as Jim had taken a seat next to his daughter, Martha moving her seat between her son and daughter in law, Kate's hand in hers, the other resting gently on Rick's injured and restrained arm. His mother had closed her eyes in exhaustion, but she never released either of them; it was as if she was afraid to let them go. Alexis had mirrored Jim's position on her father's other side, only Rick had his hand in her shoulder length red hair, her head long having hit the mattress at his side. He had no idea what time it was, but the sky was growing dark.

Rick took another sweeping glance around the room, and it struck him how many strings his daughter must have pulled to get them so accommodated. Not a single nurse had said a word about the myriad of visitors in the room, and he was fairly certain a recovery room setup included one or two nurses for every post surgical patient. Their nurse, Lacey, he thinks her name was, hadn't left their sides. Whatever Alexis did to work her magic, Castle was impressed. She was good, growing into a better PI than even he figured himself to be. She had inherited her mother's or perhaps her grandmother's acting gene after all, and knew how to work her mark to get what she wanted. Maybe it was simply the twenty-one years of wrapping him around her little finger that did it. He wished he could give her a hug, tell her how proud he was to be her father, but she was snoring softly and he didn't have the heart to wake her.

Rick was so tired, the pain medication pulling hard at him, willing him to let go, but he fought back. He wanted to see Kate's eyes open. He wanted to hear her voice. He needed it. He heard Jim speak Kate's name, and he turned his head to see her eyes open, looking at him. She had cried a little; those fat, silent tears that always broke his heart, and had rasped out a simple "I love you," before the nurse rose to speak to her. He succumbed to the meds then.

Castle was pulled back to cognizance at the sound of Kate's moan. He sat quickly and winced as he pulled at his injured arm. "Hey beautiful," he called for her attention. She didn't respond, merely sat with closed eyes and inhaled deeply through her nose, out through her mouth. "You're okay sweetheart. I'm right here."

She turned her head slowly to meet his eyes and forced out a sad smile. "Hurts."

"The button is right there on the bed, Kate. Push it if the meds aren't enough."

Kate shook her head vehemently, gasping at the movement. "No."

Castle sat up further, slowly this time, and tried to pull his legs from under the blankets. "You're in pain Kate. You need to take the meds."

"Can't," Kate rasped out again. "Baby."

Shit. Oh shit. She was pregnant. His wife was pregnant. His wife was shot twice and pregnant. She was carrying his baby. Oh God they were having a baby. It was like a sucker punch to the gut all over again, and this time he forced himself to his feet. The floor rocked below him, the room spun and he closed his eyes to gain control over his equilibrium, clinging to his IV pole for support.

"Kate," he called softly, hearing her deep breaths, the moans of pain breaking through despite her efforts. He opened his eyes and the world had stilled. "Kate," he called again, louder this time; commanding. Beckett blinked through the tears and focused on his face. "It's okay, honey. I promise it's going to be okay." She closed her eyes again, and turned her head towards the window on the far side of the room. "This is not your fault, Kate Beckett, do you hear me." Castle shuffled slowly towards her bed, setting himself down gently on her bed, taking her free hand in his across his body. "Do you hear me, Kate?" She nodded faintly, but the tears still leaked from her eyes. He sat beside her silently, caressing her fingers, the tiny indentation on her ring finger, where her wedding band had begun to mark its permanence.

"I didn't know," she whispered finally. "I didn't know about the baby, Rick. I swear. I never would have…I didn't know."

"Hey, hey," he shifted slightly so he could curl her body into his chest, ignoring the throbbing jolts of pain that radiated through his shoulder at his distorted position. "I know you didn't. Oh honey, I know you would never do anything to hurt our baby." Kate began to sob then. Rick held her as tight as he could with one arm, making sure not to hurt her further. "Please don't cry, Kate. You're going to hurt yourself." He ran his hand through her hair, cradling her close, marking her face with gentle kisses. When her wails continued, he reached behind her and yanked out a pillow, holding it against her chest for leverage from the force of her grief.

The night nurse came bustling into the room, a tall and solid, middle aged black woman, confident and commanding with her presence. Rick wasn't sure whose heart monitor it was that caught her attention, but she did not look happy. Her face softened slightly at Rick's attempts to calm his wife, and she slowed her pace to Kate's bedside. "What's going on here, Sweetness?"

"She's in pain," he spoke for his wife. "She won't take the meds. She's afraid they'll hurt the baby."

"Oh honey," the nurse soothed his wife, patting Kate's upper thigh softly. "We've had a whole parade of doctors in and out of this room while the two of you were getting your sleep on. Your daughter had the surgeons call in an OB and a neonatologist to go over your pain management plan. The meds in your IV are perfectly safe at this stage of pregnancy, they all agreed on the course of treatment and your father and your daughter read over the plan and approved it all. Your baby will be just fine, but that little muffin in there needs her mama to be calm and with as little stress as possible. I'll bring you the file with all the supporting information to read, okay honey? Then you can see for yourself."

Kate sniffled and nodded her head. "Thank you."

"Don't thank me honey, you thank that daughter of yours," she gestured between the couple with a shake of her head. "That girl is as fiery as the hair on her head. She's going to be one hell of a big sister, let me tell you." She spun on her heel and left the room as quickly as she had entered, off in search of a file Rick hoped.

Kate was smiling, still backed with a pained grimace, but she was smiling nonetheless. She released Rick's hand with a shake and reached for the pain button, giving it a quick push, the tension easing from her body rapidly. "Meds make me sleepy."

"You get a free pass for falling asleep on me today," Rick kissed her forehead and moved to rise.

"No, stay," his wife tugged at his pantleg. "I need you."

"You've got me. Always." Castle settled back in at her side, sighing as she gently rested her head against his restrained arm.

"How are you? I don't know if I heard when the doctors came by."

"I'm okay, Kate. Nothing a little physio and TLC won't fix up."

"Don't coddle me, tell me the truth," Kate lifted her head and tried to look stern.

"I'm not coddling you, sweetheart. I promise. Bullet was fairly clean, lodged in my scapula without fragmenting too much, and the doctors fixed everything up. I start PT in a week or so, once the stitches are out, and if the X-Ray is clean. The fractures are hairline, and if they stay that way, it won't need to be immobilized all the time."

Kate made a strangled noise in her throat and dropped her head like a stone to his arm. "I'm so sorry you got shot."

"I think we've already established that this is not your fault," he stated firmly. "You didn't shoot me, although if I had a log of how many times you've threatened to…"

"This isn't funny, Rick," Kate coiled back and practically shoved him off the bed with her good arm. "You can't possibly make this a joke. You could have died. I could have died. We got shot, and it's going to hurt like hell for months. It was bad enough the first time, but that was one bullet, Rick. One. Now it's two, and there's you, and a baby, and I don't know how the hell I'm going to do this again."

"Kate, calm down," he tried to soothe her. "I'm not making this a joke. I know it's serious, and it sucks and it's going to suck even worse, especially for you, honey, but we can't make it go away now. I just want you to understand that nothing you could have done would have prevented this. We both thought Caleb Brown was dead. We both thought it was over. Neither one of us could have imagined we'd be ambushed in our own home."

Kate took a deep breath and wiped a stray tear from her cheek with the pad of her thumb. "It just feels like a bad dream."

"I know, love." He wrapped her up in his good arm and pulled her to his chest again. "I know it does."

They sat in silence for a while, and it wasn't until Castle heard Kate call out to him that he realized he had been dozing.

"Rick?" She called out again, softly, halfway into slumber herself.

"Yeah?" He cleared his throat and blinked his eyes, willing them to open.

"You knocked me up."

* * *

 _I love you all for your amazing feedback and reviews. I suck at responding to them all, but I am trying my damndest to get around to them. I've got a million loads of laundry to get through and I'm trying to keep the chapters coming, so I hope you'll forgive me if it takes a few days to get to you. Minor disclaimer for my writing process; I'm anal enough to look into things, but I'm not going to spend a night finding a thesis to back up my theory, it will be more generalized. So I'm not going to tell you jets can fly using Coke as fuel, but I may not know the exact ratios of whatever goes into jet fuel. ;) I'm loving continuing this story, and it will probably be entirely of the fluffy variety. Writing is my therapy, and I like it when things don't suck. Thanks again, all. You are wonderful._


	6. It's Complicated

Rick Castle had never felt exhaustion like this before. It was bone sucking, all consuming exhaustion, as if every ounce of energy had been drained from his body. The nurse, Jasmine, he thinks is her name, helps haul him back into the uncomfortable hospital bed, but honestly, he thinks she does most of the work. He can't get his mind past the pain, and he doesn't hear what she's saying to him, even if she's talking at all. He just wants to sleep forever.

It's been years now, and he hasn't thought of that summer in so long, now that Kate is his wife, but something in him understands her a little more; understands why she hid from him that summer after she was hit with a sniper's bullet. He's jumpy, even with the protective detail on the door, he hasn't slept without the vivid and terrifying dreams brought on by trauma, and enhanced by the pain medication, and it takes everything in him to shield her from the depth of his suffering, to keep from adding to her worry over him.

It's killing him to see the same fears mirrored in her eyes, only her fear doesn't end with the death of their shooter. It's not all terror for herself, or even for him, it's all for their baby. Their tiny baby, they've only known about for a week now, but they both love more than their own lives, is their whole world. Despite the physical therapy, the nightmares, the healing, the pain and the exhaustion, their baby is the miracle that is keeping them strong and moving forward. He loves the hazy glow of love in his wife's eyes, loves the sight of her sleeping with her hands settled over her abdomen, protecting their baby even in sleep, but he also sees her guilt over the meds, the trauma, the strain on her body and any other facet of her shooting that could harm the life inside her. Everyone has tried to reassure her, to stress to her that nothing that happens now is her fault, that she is not to blame for the circumstances, but he knows Kate Beckett better than anyone else in the world, and she carries the weight of everything, regardless of whether she is in control or not.

He is fighting the hard, deep sleep that comes after a round of physical therapy, waiting to see for himself that she is still surviving, still fighting, when another nurse, Castle doesn't even try to conjure up her name, wheels Kate's chair in. He seeks out his wife's face, and she offers him up the slightest quirk of her lips, a silent acknowledgement that she's okay and he can let go. Rick gives in to the drag of exhaustion, and drops into the hard, black sleep that follows their physical therapy.

Time is irrelevant in sleep, here in the hospital, for the last few days of their stay. Kate's stay, really. They were both moved into a large private room, days ago, too nice to be standard issue, so it was likely the room they squirreled away New York's rich and famous, keeping them out of the prying eyes of those that would throw tidbits to the paparazzi scuttling outside the hospitals like rats. Castle had been given his walking papers, but thanks to the strange desire of bureaucracy to appease those that would use this room, he was given a bed beside hers, to wait out the last days before Kate's release.

Her injuries were healing well, it was the suggestion of the highly specialized obstetrician Alexis had found, that Kate remain to monitor both her and the baby, after physical therapy began. Her team of specialists worked together to find the perfect balance of medication, movements, and treatments to allow her the full ability to heal, while accommodating the changes her body was undergoing as a result of the pregnancy. The hormones in her body that allowed her muscles and ligaments to relax and expand as the baby grew, put Kate in a unique position that meant her physical healing would be faster, but would extend long after the baby was born, to prevent those tissues from settling in ways they shouldn't, when the hormones finally cleared her system. It meant her physical therapy was less intense, but more frequent than his own, and thanks again to those hormones, far more painful. In essence, it was a very inopportune time to be pregnant, but Castle believed in fate and destiny, and this baby of theirs was meant for this time. He saw how Kate focussed, worked for their child, pushed ahead despite the pain, and he knew it was for them; her little family.

Castle wasn't sure when he had slipped into that veil between sleep and unconscious thought, but his ruminations stopped abruptly, and he jerked into wakefulness at the sound of Kate's shout for help. He sat up quickly, too quickly, and winced at the lance of pain through his shoulder. Swinging his legs over the side of the bed, his eyes focussed through the pain and sought her out. She was wide eyed and awake. He would have assumed it had been a nightmare that had terrified her enough to call out, were it not for the hand she held in front of her body, fingertips shining bright with blood. Castle shuddered at the sight. He never wanted to see the crimson of Kate Beckett's blood again, he had never thought he'd have to. Jasmine burst into the room, and Castle hurled himself clumsily towards his wife's bedside.

"Hey there Sweetness," Jasmine spoke in a deep, soothing drawl. "What's going on here?"

Tears ran down Kate's face in fat rivulets. She looked only at him. "I'm bleeding. Something's wrong with the baby."

His heart stuttered in his chest. Oh God, no. Castle held her hand and leaned forward to kiss the top of her head, pain be damned. "It's going to be okay, honey. She's a fighter, just like her Mommy. Everything's going to be okay."

"He's right Sweetness, just take a deep breath," Jasmine reassured her, pulling the ultrasound machine over to Kate's bedside, before she took Kate's hand in hers, to wash clean with a sanitized wipe. "Let's take a peek and see what that little one is up to in there." Castle fought the urge to vomit, whispering nonsense into Kate's hair, as she wept silently. How much more could they stand before they broke down entirely? Jasmine eased the blankets down Kate's legging clad lower body, revealing the crimson stain on the sheets, and Rick closed his eyes to the sight. He felt the shift of material as Jasmine tugged on the fabric of Kate's sleep shirt, to free up her abdomen for the ultrasound wand. Kate clutched his hand hard. It would have hurt if he could feel anything at all, other than the terror.

The rapid whooshing sound of their baby's heartbeat, pulled his eyes open at last, and he lifted his head from Kate's to seek the accompanying image. "There you go, Mommy and Daddy," Jasmine soothed. "Look at that little bean. Wiggling up a storm in there, perfectly happy."

"She's okay?" Castle asked on a deep exhale, releasing the breath he had been holding.

"Well, I don't know about the she part, but baby looks just fine. Heartbeat is strong and steady. I paged Dr. Mott already, she should be here soon, and she can tell you exactly what is causing the bleeding."

Kate was silent, staring at the image on the screen, her hand still clutching his tightly.

"Hey there folks," Kate's obstetrician appeared, almost spectrally in front of them, Castle couldn't take his eyes from the image on the screen long enough to see when she had come through the door. "I understand there's been a bit of excitement here."

He watched Kate's eyes narrow, watched her ready to lash out at the perky doctor, and he kissed her head in distraction. "Thanks for coming so quickly, Dr. Mott."

Kate sighed and released the tension in her body, "I was sleeping, but I had to use the washroom. I felt a little gush and my pants were wet. I thought I had an accident." Kate's face flushed pink and she dropped her chin to her chest in embarrassment. "That's when I saw the blood on the sheets."

The doctor took the wand Jasmine offered up, with a smile, and took over the ministrations over the flat plane of Kate's abdomen. After a few moments, she enlarged the image on the screen and pulled it closer to her body. "You see this dark spot right here?" she highlighted a spot on the screen, and looked to Rick and Kate expectantly. "This is what we call a partial placental abruption. A tiny little portion of the placenta has pulled away from the uterine wall. It's not a significant abruption, so if we keep the strain to Kate's body minimal, it should heal up perfectly, and no further abruption will take place."

"What do you mean keep the strain minimal?" Kate questioned, softly.

"I'm going to adjust your PT to water therapy only. That will encourage the movement and healing of your tissues, but keep the strain to your abdomen to a minimum. We already know we're looking at an extended PT schedule, but this will prevent any further damage, and keep your muscles as loose and relaxed as possible."

"Okay," Kate agreed quickly. "I understand."

"I'm also going to have you on bedrest when you are released to go home. At least until baby is bigger, and we can see that growth isn't affecting the placenta at all."

"Bedrest?" Castle questioned. "What does bedrest entail, exactly?"

"Well, it primarily means that Kate is in bed for the near future. Walking should be kept to a minimum, to the washroom, couch, shower, and any appointments outside your home are allowed. Otherwise you are laying down and resting as much as possible.

"I'm not arguing with you, I promise," Kate interjected, her eye's meeting Rick's. "I'll do whatever it takes to make sure this baby is okay, but what about work? Is there any chance I will be able to get back to work any time soon?"

"Kate," Castle warned, becoming agitated.

"Castle, stop," Kate interrupted, squeezing his hand. "I am the captain. I need to make plans for my precinct if I'm not able to make it back soon. This isn't about me. I promise."

"I can't really comment on how long it will take, unfortunately. That's up to your body and this little one," the petite doctor smiled and nodded her head towards the screen. "You may be fine to return to work after your three-month convalescent leave, if you take it easy and the placenta remains stable. You may be off for the duration of your pregnancy. All we can do is wait and see."

Kate released a deep sigh and dropped her head back on her pillow, eyes closed in defeat. "What will happen if there is further abruption?" wishing he could free his injured arm from the sling on his chest, to hold his wife.

"Well, that's our worst-case scenario," the doctor commented softly. "Any further abruption means decreased blood flow to the baby, which means oxygen depletion. Depending on the severity of the abruption, it is life threatening for the baby, and for Kate."

"What do you mean, exactly?" Castle questioned, feeling his heart pounding inside his chest. "Sorry, I've just never done any of this before."

"No apologies necessary, Rick," Dr. Mott reassured him. "I am here to help you both through this, and to make sure we have a healthy baby at the end of the road." She patted her hand on Kate's thigh, and continued. "In the early stages of pregnancy, when the embryo begins to form on the lining of the uterus, the placenta forms, and the number of blood vessels increases. The mother's blood volume also increases, to provide more oxygen and nourishment to the fetus as it grows. Because of the increased number of vessels between the uterus and the placenta, an abruption poses a risk of maternal hemorrhage. If the abruption is severe enough, the mother can essentially bleed to death."

"God," Castle groaned, dropping to the chair beside Kate's bed, releasing her hand and cradling his head in his hands.

"What are the chances of that happening?" Kate asked quietly, her hand moving protectively to her abdomen.

"It's very rare, Kate. It's also very unlikely until the third trimester. If we had even the slightest suspicion that it was possible, you would be admitted to the hospital for the duration of your pregnancy, and both you and baby would be monitored very closely. If an abruption occurred, we would be prepared for an emergency C-section, and the baby would be out in as little as five minutes. I'm going to monitor you very closely over the next few months, and you are going to take it easy until we know you are out of the woods. I will do absolutely everything in my power to get you all through this as smoothly as possible."

"Thank you, Dr. Mott," Kate sighed. "I will do whatever you tell me to do. Nothing is more important than this baby."

"The bleeding should stop fairly soon. It's minimal, so you aren't in any danger, but if it continues, or increases, I want you to page me immediately. In the meantime, be positive. Your body is strong, and in excellent condition, injuries notwithstanding. You'll get through this."

Kate forced a smile and watched as the doctor left the room. The soft snick of the door as it closed was like thunder, in the midst of their silence. "So, bedrest," Castle finally broke the silence. "I'm jealous. I wish someone would tell me to get in bed and stay there until further notice." Kate didn't smile at his attempt at levity. "We should have a TV put in our bedroom, I'll pick up one of those fancy lap desks so we can do crossword puzzles too."

"Castle, please stop," Kate sighed. "I know what you're trying to do, and I appreciate it, but I don't need it. It is what it is and I wasn't lying when I said this baby was the most important thing. I am probably going to be a bitch, and sometimes I'm going to be whiny and petulant about it, but I will do it gladly, if it means our child can be safe."

"I'm with you, Kate. A hundred percent. I will do whatever you need me to do over the next few months, even if it means giving you some space. Whatever you want, you can have, just ask." Rick grasped her hand and brought her fingers to his lips. "We can ask about spending the summer in the Hamptons. We'll hire a nurse and a physical therapist. You can do your PT in the pool and spend the day sleeping in a poolside cabana. Consider it a third Honeymoon."

Kate finally smiled half-heartedly. "That sounds nice."

"We'll get through this, Love. You and I, we can get through anything." Castle guided their joined hands to her still flat abdomen, stroking the place their baby grew.

"I know we will, Babe," she gazed pensively at their hands. "After all of this, I believe it. It doesn't mean I'm not scared though."

"I know, Honey. I'm scared too." He leaned forward, hissing softly at the awkward movement, and rested his forehead against his wife's. "This kid is already the world's toughest unborn. She's badass, just like her Mom."

"She, huh?" Kate pulled back, her eyebrow quirked. "What makes you think it's a girl?"

Castle just grinned. "I, Kate Beckett, am destined for an eternity surrounded completely by beautiful females."

Kate finally laughed, releasing the sound into the room on a quiet huff. "Solid logic, Nostradamus."

"Is there such a thing as Father's Intuition?"

"That must be it," Kate bantered back. "Your deep connection with our child, who is no bigger than a jellybean, defies all explanation."

"I am very sensitive, Beckett. I know things on a level not commonly achieved by the common man."

"Oh well, then I suppose the Great Richard Castle has spoken."

"You better believe it, Baby. Mark my words…" he pointed dramatically at Kate's belly. "Girl."

Kate just laughed, settling back against her pillow. "I'm so tired."

Castle sighed and rose from the chair at her bedside. "Me too. You should get some more sleep." He kissed her forehead lovingly, and turned to return to his own bed beside hers. "I'm right here if you need me."

"I love you," Kate sighed, sleepily.

"I love you too." Castle settled back against his own pillows and watched as Kate closed her eyes, still cradling their baby under her hands.

"Hey Castle?"

"Yeah?"

"I think it's a girl too."

* * *

 _Thanks to everyone for hanging in there, and for the wonderful feedback. I genuinely appreciate all of the comments, and I apologize for sucking profusely at responding to each one individually. Summer vacation is upon me, and my kids are bored, hungry, bored, fighting, and bored, and I have taken on the entirely unwanted role, of flight attendant. So I am swamped with children and their associated mess, and I have barely had time to sit, let alone write anything. Which is why I'm awake at 4am. I'm overrun with chapters, and writing them down as fast as I can get to the computer. There is so much of their story left to tell._


	7. Love Stories

"Kate?" a soft voice called from the bedroom door of their Hamptons house, pulling Kate from her shallow sleep.

"Alexis," Kate yawned, adjusting herself slowly to a sitting position. "When did you get here?"

"A few hours ago. I didn't wake you, did I?"

Kate waved her hand dismissively and gestured for her step-daughter to come in. "Just dozing, really. Laying in bed, doing absolutely nothing, is intensely boring, in case you didn't know. The sound of the ocean, the rain today, and the fact that I am always insanely tired doesn't help much either."

Alexis chuckled and settled herself on the bed, at Kate's side. "I bet. I'm surprised Dad hasn't hired live entertainment."

Kate just grinned. "Your dad, no, but your grandmother has tried to re-enact her last play, performing all of the roles herself."

"How confusing was that?" Alexis laughed.

"Let's just say I really missed the pain medication." The pair laughed together for a moment before Alexis began to fidget, nervously. "So, what's up?"

"It's nothing really," Alexis stammered, pink blooming on her cheeks. "I just wanted to give you something. I bought it when you were in the hospital, but you were still sleeping so much and your arm was in a sling, and I didn't want you to feel pressured, so…"

"Alexis," Kate reached out slowly, with her healing arm. "It's okay. I'm sure I will love it, whatever it is."

The red-head took a deep breath and pulled a small bag from behind her back, passing it gently to her step-mother. Removing the tissue paper eagerly, Kate pulled out a small, coiled book. She ran her hands over the image on the glossy cover and looked up at the younger woman.

"It's a pregnancy journal," Alexis explained, enthusiastically. She was so much like her father when it came to gifts. She took the book from Kate's hands and opened it up, handing it back to the dark-haired woman. "It's got different sections, one for keeping track of medical information, one for planning for the baby, one for labour and after the baby comes, and one for recording how you feel, the baby's growth and generally making entries every week of your pregnancy. It's kind of silly, but I thought it was a cute idea, and it would keep you busy while you're Dad's prisoner."

Kate barked out a watery laugh, wiping a stray tear from her cheek. "That's so thoughtful, Alexis. I didn't even know they made these."

"I was in the bookstore in the hospital, wandering aimlessly and I saw the baby section. I've always wanted a baby brother or sister." She blushed crimson, and hid her face behind a short curtain of hair. Kate reached out and squeezed her step-daughter's hand.

"Thank you so much. This is amazing." Kate flipped casually through the book, stopping abruptly when she came across the young woman's flowing hand-written script.

"I know it was hard for you, finding out about her that way. You were still in so much pain, and mostly sleeping, you and Dad both, and I didn't want you to miss any of it. It may have sucked, but those first few weeks were still a part of the story, and I wrote what I could see, so you didn't miss any of it." Alexis was blushing furiously now, picking at an invisible thread on the sheets, and the tears streamed down Kate's face with abandon.

"I don't know what to say, Alexis. This is beautiful." She reached for the young woman, pulling her in close. Alexis wrapped her arms around Kate's slender body and held tight. "We are both so lucky to have you. You're going to be such a fantastic big sister."

"I was so scared, Kate. I thought we were going to lose you," the red-head cried softly into Kate's shoulder. " Our family would never be the same again, if you weren't here."

Beckett wiped her tears on the long sleeve of her sleep shirt and ran her finger's through the young woman's hair, marvelling at how child like she seemed in that moment; a little girl who lost her mother too young. "I'm not going anywhere, Sweetheart. I promise you. I love you and your dad too much to ever let go."

The pair held each other, the tears slowing, until her injured arm twinged in protest, and Kate had to release the younger woman. She ran her hand through the flaming red hair, lovingly, before settling back on the pillows and allowing her arm to rest.

"How much do you want to bet your dad is hiding in the hall?"

"Please," Alexis scoffed. "That's a sucker's bet. This is dad we're talking about."

Kate chuckled, and shook her head, amused, before calling out. "Coast is clear, nosy. You can come in now."

Castle peered sheepishly around the door frame before grinning and entering the room. Alexis squealed as her father wrapped his arms around her waist and squeezed her in a tight hug. "Now ladies," he proclaimed, releasing his daughter, and clapping his hands together, excitedly. "I have prepared lunch, which is totally in-bed worthy, so who's up for a movie marathon, daughter's choice."

"How come I don't get to choose," Kate teased, playfully. "I am the one who's stuck here, you know."

"And I feel for you, I do. But you and I both know, your choice in movies kind of sucks."

Alexis giggled, and Kate laughed brightly, gently tossing a throw pillow at her husband. "You're a jerk."

"Harry Potter?" the youngest Castle suggested. "I'm up for something light and fluffy."

"Sounds good to me," Castle beamed. "Are you in agreement, m' lady?"

"Harry Potter is perfect," Kate sighed. "Does lunch happen to include ice cream, though. Baby wants some mint chocolate chip."

"Does lunch include…" Castle scoffed, glancing at his daughter. "You'd think she was new or something. Of course, lunch includes ice cream."

Kate rolled her eyes as her husband tugged his daughter out of the room, chattering rapidly as led her down the stairs to retrieve their lunch. Kate picked up the small notebook once more, tenderly caressing the cover before she reached in her bedside drawer for a pen. Opening the front cover, she began to write. "For our sweet baby. You are so loved." She smiled to herself and stroked her abdomen, as she flipped to a page, boldly marked ' _fourteen weeks_.'

Keeping her entry concise, she simply wrote, ' _Today, your sister gave me this book.'_


	8. The Best Medicine

Castle woke to the murderous glare of his wife. Kate sat upright in their bed, on the tiny sliver of mattress left to her, by three-year-old Lily, who had sprawled in something resembling a starfish; head on her mother's pillow, feet across her father's chest, arms, and legs akimbo. Kate normally relished the early morning snuggle time with their busy little girl, but Rick could almost hear her in his head, growling out her intentions to rapidly advance his death.

Choosing to play it safe, or more aptly, choosing the coward's way out, he sat up and prepared to play as dumb as humanly possible. "Good morning, beautiful." He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and yawned.

"Is it Rick? Is it a good morning?" Her voice was venomous, and anyone else would have run screaming for the hills, but he knew every nuance of his wife's voice, and he could hear her exhaustion and pain, louder than any anger she could ever project. Lily snuffled in sleep, and cuddled deeper into the bed, curling into herself on the pillow. Kate sighed deeply, and slid her feet to the floor. She sat silently for a moment, before dragging herself to her feet and reaching for the bathrobe she kept draped over the easy chair on her side of the bed. She slipped it on as she left the early morning haze of their bedroom, without looking back. Rick tucked the blankets around Lily's tiny shoulders and kissed her forehead softly, before slipping quietly from the bed to find his wife.

The scent of coffee filled the loft, and had never been more grateful for the automatic timer on the coffee machine. He was pretty sure it was going to be a lots-of-cups kind of day. Kate stood in front of the tall bay windows overlooking the city, her arms curled tight to her chest as if she were physically holding herself together. The pink and yellow of the sunrise lit the curves of her silhouette with an ethereal amber glow, and like so many mornings in the past, she completely entranced him. The sound of her soft sniffles broke the trance, and he moved steadily to her side.

"What's going on, Kate?" He braced her shoulders from behind with his strong hands, and kissed the top of her head. She sighed and he felt some of the tension leave her body as she eased back into his arms. He kissed her head again, inhaling deeply, the lavender scent of her hair, as he bore the full weight of her body against his chest, draping his arms across hers and intertwining their fingers. "Bad night?"

A watery laugh emerged from her throat, not quite in amusement, but she hadn't elbowed him in the groin yet, so chances were good that he'd emerge with at least one ear intact. Castle counted that as a win. "I can't tell the difference between nights and days anymore. It's not like I can sleep for more than five minutes anyway." Kate was being petulant, but Rick was a strange man. Petulant, whiny, Kate, meant she wanted to be coddled. She wanted him to take care of her, and if there was anything he loved doing, more than taking care of his warrior of a wife, he hadn't found it yet. Well, there was that one thing…When he felt Kate stiffen slightly in his arms, he made a mental note to focus, and he hummed softly into her hair.

"I'm sorry you're having such a hard time, Sweetheart. I wish I could take this on for you, for a while anyway, but sadly, I am but a man."

Kate made a sound somewhat in the realm of a chuckle, and swayed gently from side to side in his arms. "I am so uncomfortable, Rick, and I don't know how I'm going to make it through another three months of this. I'm so tired." She sniffled again and Castle draped their intertwined hands over the swell of her belly.

"You're a superhero, Kate." She scoffed at him, but Rick was not deterred. "I'm serious. There's two tiny humans in there. Two of them, and you're keeping them alive. I think I'd just park myself on the couch with a carton of ice cream and be a giant, useless heap, if I had to grow two people." Castle mentally high-fived himself at Kate's soft giggle, and he squeezed her gently. "You get up every morning, and you go to work. You come home at night, you help make dinner, you play with our daughter, you care for her, and you never let her know how tired you are. You stay awake when she goes down, to spend time with me, to talk about our day, even though I know you want nothing more than to collapse in bed."

"That's not…" Kate interrupted, but he shushed emphatically in her ear, earning a disgruntled huff, before continuing.

"Then you have a little tiger who slinks into our bed in the middle of the night, and these two little creatures doing whatever it is they do in there, and you still get up and do it all over again the next day. You're a superhero." Rick used their hands to spin her in his arms, and drew her gently to his chest. Kate sighed into the embrace and settled her cheek against his chest.

"I don't know what's wrong with me," she sighed again, tearfully. "These hormones are out of control.

"Cut yourself some slack, Honey. It's not you, it's the pregnancy. If you didn't have these crazy hormones turning you into a human water fountain," that earned him a gentle slap on the back, "you wouldn't be doing such a great job of baking our boys."

"They're not boys," Kate huffed. "They're squid. Do you have any idea how weird it is to be poked in ten different places inside your belly, at the same time? It's unnerving. See," she leaned back so they could both look at her belly, still gently kissing his. "They know we're talking about them, can you feel how weird that is?"

Castle chuckled and guided her backwards toward the couch, easing her gently to the cushions, before kneeling with a groan, between her parted thighs. She reached for his hands and guided one to each side of her belly. There was a dance party happening in there, and Castle marvelled at the energy of his unborn sons. He dropped a kiss to her belly, and leaned back slightly to lift her sleep shirt. The tight, creamy skin of her belly, was marred with a few sparse, spidery, purple stretch marks, which he knew she hated, but he kind of loved. Her belly was once a blank canvas that now bore the story of their lives. The scars from a surgery that saved her life, to the tiny pucker that had almost ended it again. These new, brushstrokes of colour, were the proof of life. Of the life they had fought for, and of the life they had created, that grew within her. First with Lily, now with their baby boys. Rick traced a mark with the tip of his finger and Kate huffed in annoyance. He sent her a daring look, before setting back on his haunches to watch their babies in action.

Kate was right. It was totally unnerving. The movements at all parts of her belly, at the same time, was akin to the scene in the movie _Alien_ , immediately before the creature burst forth from the belly of it's host. "You want to walk me through this? I'm not sure I can wrap my head around all the body parts."

Kate laughed and shook her head, taking his hand in hers again. She guided it to the top of her belly, and settled her hand atop his. "Baby A," she began, before Castle interrupted.

"I'm sorry, what now? His name isn't Baby A. What's his name, Kate?"

"I'm not calling him that," Kate, shot him an exasperated look.

"What's his name, Kate?" He grinned at her glare. "You said, 'Daddy gets in-utero naming rights' so what's his name?"

Kate huffed. "Fine, but for the record, I hate you just a little bit."

"Noted." Castle beamed. "Now who were we talking about?"

His wife huffed again, and pushed down on his hand gently. "Sherlock," she paused and shook her head in disbelief, before continuing. "Is higher up. That's his head." She slid his hand down along the side of her belly, a few inches before stopping. "This is his elbow." She slid towards the front and stopped just short of her protruding belly button. "That's his foot. Thankfully he's keeping the knees out of the mix this morning."

Castle stayed silent as Kate reached for his other hand and guided it to the lower right portion of her abdomen. He gestured, giddily, with his head for her to continue, and she huffed out another sigh. "Watson is down low. Here's his bum." She slid back towards the middle again, to the opposite side of her belly button and pushed gently. Rick felt the gentle push from inside in response. "That's a hand or an elbow, I'm not sure how he's holding his arms this morning. He's either snuggling up to his brother, or fist fighting."

Kate released her hold on her husband's hand and reclined into the cushions as Rick marvelled at the continued movements of their unborn children. He stroked her belly gently and leaned forward, hovering. Stopping abruptly, he looked up at his wife, a stern look on his face. "Don't listen. I'm talking to my boys."

Kate laughed and shook her head in amusement. "I stopped listening to you ramble on, a long time ago. It's called self-preservation."

"Ha-ha, funny woman. No eavesdropping."

"You're so weird," Kate laughed again. "I'll do my best."

"Thank you," Castle nodded, maintaining his serious expression, before leaning over her belly once more. "Good morning boys. We need to have a little chat, man to man, well man to men, I guess, about all this roughhousing that's been going on in there." He could feel Kate's eyeroll, on the top of his head, but he continued. "Your Mommy is trying very hard to grow you up strong and healthy, and you're giving her a hard time. You're living in there, rent free, being fed, and carried around, you need to learn the importance of being a good tenant." Kate laughed aloud, and Castle looked up at her, with narrow eyes.

She mouthed a sorry, and returned her head to the cushions, closing her eyes, the amusement still playing on her lips.

"Anyway," Rick returned to his speech, "You need to take care of your Mommy, sleep at bedtime, instead of practicing your hand-to-hand, and maybe ease up on the limb protrusions once in a while." He kissed the sides, where each baby wriggled, and continued. "I love you both very much, and I can't wait to meet you, but if you keep up these Shenanigans, Mommy is going to kill me in my sleep."

Kate laughed aloud again, twining her fingers in her husband's hair. "You are a goofball, Richard Castle."

"I made you laugh though, didn't I?" Castle groaned as he hoisted himself to his feet, and dropped to the sofa beside her, taking her hand in his as she slipped her shirt down over her bare skin.

"You did," Kate sighed, in concession. "You always make me laugh."

"Then my work here is done."

"Think again, Babe," Kate smiled and gestured towards the doorway to the bedroom, where a sleep rumpled Lily grinned widely as she hurtled herself in their direction.

Castle intercepted the toddler, hoisting her up with a growl and blowing a raspberry into her neck until she squealed with delight. He settled their daughter between their bodies and Kate ran her fingers through the long, tangled locks of baby soft hair. "Is Daddy being silly?"

"Daddy so silly," Lily grinned, tilting her head back to look into her mother's face. "He my bestest Daddy."

Kate smiled lovingly at the little girl, before lifting her eyes to her husband. "He's my bestest too, baby girl."


	9. Your Biggest Fan

,

Kate smiled and pressed her lips to the baby's downy soft hair, as she slept soundly in the carrier against her mother's chest. Inhaling the intoxicating perfume of powder, milk and newness, that perfect combination that made Kate's insides turn to jelly, she swayed on the spot and grinned at the noises her newborn daughter made in sleep. Lily was well and truly out.

Placing one more tender kiss against the baby's tiny head, Kate returned her attention to the crowd of last minute Christmas shoppers and Rick Castle fans that surrounded her, and pointedly ignored the whispers of speculation. Easing the material of the carrier over the baby's head, and ensuring her daughter was concealed, she kept a protective hand across the tiny body, and scanned her surroundings. She had always been extraordinarily observant and aware of her surroundings, it was her job after all to see the details others missed, however, since giving birth just over one-week prior, her senses were in overdrive. Castle called it her 'Mommy radar' and had taken to teasing her about her newfound superpowers. It still stunned Kate, in some ways, the intensity of being a mother. Lily squeaked softly, lost in a dream, and Kate swayed gently, and whispered love over her daughter's head, stilling the infant instantly.

Rick had told her, so long ago, that holding her child for the first time would be like being struck by lighting, but he had been wrong. The love she felt for this tiny person had been like lightning, the moment she had really understood that she and Rick had created a life. The months that followed had been like the building wildfires that followed a lighting strike. Every kick, every hiccup, every somersault at her Daddy's voice, had thrown fuel on the proverbial fires, and Kate fell more-and-more in love with the life growing inside her. Giving birth to Lily, holding her tiny, wriggling body against her naked breast, hearing the first sound of her baby's voice, had been a nuclear explosion. Now, Kate was living in the fallout; heightened senses, new senses awakened, and a fierce burning love for this perfect little girl.

Scanning the crowd again, satisfied that her daughter was safe, Beckett relaxed and peered over the heads of the New Yorkers in front of her, trying to remain hidden for as long as possible. She smiled at the thought of surprising her husband, at his first book signing since the birth of their child. He had been so miserable that morning, being dragged from her side, from the intense hold their baby girl had over him, but Kate had promised him they would be there when he was done, and had agreed to text him every half hour. She found herself falling a little more in love with him, which she had thought to be impossible, at the mere idea of being separated from his newest princess, and had almost immediately begun to formulate her plan.

She had laughed and chased him to the door when he 'forgot' to hand her back the baby, consoled him with her lips as she eased Lily from his grasp. She had raised the sleeping newborns hand in a wave as Rick walked backwards toward the elevator, and as soon as the doors had slid closed, raced to action. Setting the baby in the bassinet and unhooking the baby monitor from her bedside table, Kate had raced to the shower, in and out as quickly as she could before Lily woke. The soft fussing had quieted almost as soon as the hairdryer came on, and thanks to her years of practice at getting ready in record time, Kate had styled her long curls, and applied her makeup before the baby stirred again. She had forgotten how good it felt to feel put together. Having a newborn didn't leave a lot of time for showers, or meals, and Kate couldn't even remember the last time she had worn anything other than yoga pants and a shirt that unbuttoned, if she even managed to have a shirt on at any point during the day, or at least that's how it felt at times.

Kate had selected a sleek pair of skinny jeans, as sleek as maternity jeans got, and a burgundy cashmere sweater. She had slid into her favorite tan boots, just as Lily's grunts of annoyance became wails. Setting herself down into the rocker, she brought the baby to her breast and listened with amusement, at the racket her baby made as she ate. She was her father's daughter, after all, eating was an art form. When Lily had her fill, was burped, changed and dressed in a fresh pair of sleepers, Kate had maneuvered herself into the wrap Rick had insisted on buying, despite how complicated it appeared to be to put on, and settled the baby inside. Donning her coat, and the strange backwards 'cape' Rick had purchased, for covering the baby during winter walks, Kate had grabbed the diaper bag, and grinned as she slipped from the loft. Now, standing in the entrance of the Barnes and Noble, only a few people away from surprising her husband, she felt the flutters of excitement in her belly. Rick Castle loved surprises, and Kate loved that expression of pure joy the crossed his face when he caught sight of her.

"Beckett, what are you…" he beamed, as she approached his table. "I didn't know…" Kate laughed at his fumbling, and Castle blushed slightly, simply smiling. "Hi."

"Mr. Castle," Kate leaned forward and whispered huskily in his ear. "I'm your biggest fan."

"Is that right, Miss…" Rick winked and played along. "I'd love to discuss it further if you're free later this afternoon."

Kate caressed his ear and opened her mouth to respond, just as Lily let out an angry squawk, and began to flail her tiny fists against her mother's chest. "Hold that thought stud."

"Not that I am not insanely thrilled that you came out here to see me, but I've got about an hour left before this thing is done, and as much as I want to hop this table and relieve you of my favorite tiny human, I can see the smoke coming from Paula's ears, and she's about to go Defcon."

Kate chuckled under her breath and straightened herself out, gently bouncing and increasingly irate Lily. "We came to take you to lunch when you're finished. I've got an angry creature of my own to deal with, so I'm going to go find somewhere quiet to feed her, and we'll wander around until you're done."

The whispers around her increased as her husband's fans confirmed to one another, that she was in fact, the real Nikki Heat, and she shook her head in amusement, at the delighted look on Castle's face. "I'm so glad you came, Kate."

"Nowhere else I'd rather be, Babe. Get back to work, and come find me later."

"'Kay," Castle nodded, reaching out to trace a finger across Lily's tiny brow. "Be nice Tiger. Daddy will see you soon."

She nodded, and sent him a wink, turning to go, before his hand shot out to grasp hers. She rolled her eyes as he raised his voice and called to the man standing to his left.

"Michael, my good man," Rick stood and dropped a hand on the man's shoulder. "Would you be so kind as to lend your office to my lovely wife? Baby hasn't quite learned to share the limelight." Kate chuckled again, and shook her head at her husband's antics. God, she loved that man.

"See you later, Castle," she winked, over her shoulder, as Michael guided her towards the store's back offices. The chatter behind her had reached peak excitement and Rick was in his glory. Kate still cringed at all the lights and cameras and attention, and her "Mommy radar" was in full on alarm mode, but she had come to accept the multiple roles she would have to play, being the wife of a quasi-celebrity, as she so loved to tease him. It wasn't a life she had ever envisioned for herself, nursing her newborn daughter in the back room of a Barnes and Noble, while her bestselling author husband performed for a room full of fans. But now, heart swelling with pride at the sounds of his professional success, and the gulps and grunts of the suckling baby, their personal success, Kate couldn't picture any life other than this.


	10. The Great Porcelain Throne

"Oh God," Beckett moaned from her place on the bathroom floor. "I seriously hate you."

Castle had the sense to remain stoic, as he slipped, quietly from the shower. "Again?" he asked softly, kneeling beside his wife, to run a hand through her hair. "I think it's time to go see the doctor. That's the fourth time you've been sick this morning," he frowned, as Kate moaned again.

"I'm not dying, Castle. It's just morning sickness."

"Kate, you're supposed to be gaining weight, not losing it," he stood up, reaching for his robe, on the back of the door. "I don't even remember the last time you ate anything and didn't throw it right back up."

"Oh God, please stop talking," Beckett whined, and rested her forehead against her forearms, as they draped around the seat of the toilet. "Talking about food, coffee, any kind of bodily fluid, work and anything else that you even think has the potential to make me gag, is off limits. Please."

"Okay, sweetheart," Castle sighed, bending over to kiss his wife gently, atop her head. "But I'm calling Dr. Mott right now. I'm worried about you, Kate. This isn't normal, and it can't be good for you or the baby."

"Rick," Kate whined again.

Castle held his hands up in surrender. "I'm leaving. I promise." He backed toward the door. "Just call me if you need me, okay." The sound of his wife retching was answer enough.

He closed the bathroom door behind him, and sighed as he walked to his closet to get dressed. Kate's pregnancy had churned into something of a perfect storm, since discovering the existence of their first child following emergency surgery for two bullet-wounds. She had been sentenced to bed-rest, with no chance of parole until they could be sure the baby was growing well, and the risk of complications was over. He chuckled at the analogy, and then mentally yanked on his own ear, the way Kate used to, at the beginning of their partnership. Thou shalt not find humor in the suffering and misery of thy wife, he reminded himself. He heard her retching again, from behind the bathroom door and he steeled his resolve to go against her wishes and call her doctor. If he had thought nothing was worse than a pissed off Captain Beckett, he had been sorely mistaken. Pissed off, pregnant, Captain Beckett, was a new breed of scary, and he was man enough to admit, she managed to intimidate him still.

He squared his shoulders and set his jaw, attempting at least, to pretend false bravado, and made his way towards his office. She was going to murder him, cut him into little pieces and then scatter his body all over the Hamptons, when she found out he'd made the call anyway, but if he was lucky, the thought of so much nastiness would make her too nauseous to fight back, at least for now. When the soothing voice of Kate's high-risk OB came over the line, Castle took a deep breath and spoke. "Dr. M, it's Rick Castle. Kate's adamant that nothing is wrong, but she's throwing up every hour, every day, and I am starting to get worried. I know you don't see her for another week, but I don't think this is normal. She's been on the bathroom floor since about 4 am, and it doesn't sound like she'll be out anytime soon."

"Hello, Mr. Castle," Rick could hear the grin in the doctor's voice. "I'm fine, thanks for asking."

Castle cleared his throat, sheepishly. "Sorry, I know I'm probably completely overreacting, but I'm a little more nervous dad this time around. Kate has accused me of hovering more than once."

"Relax, Rick," the older woman spoke, gently. "I'm teasing. I'm sure it's nothing more than run of the mill morning sickness, coupled with the trauma Kate's body has been through recently. If it would make you feel better, I can head over to the house in a few hours and check out her vitals, give her some saline if she's dehydrated, and see if we can get this under control."

"I would truly appreciate a house call, Dr. M. It's probably nothing, but I think Kate and I could both use the reassurances," Rick sighed, dropping his head back in his chair, and closing his eyes briefly.

"I understand, Rick. You and Kate have been through a lot, and it's completely natural to be a little off balance sometimes." Castle exhaled a breath he didn't realize he'd been holding, and waited for the doctor to continue.

"I'm going to call a prescription in for some medication that's frequently prescribed to prevent morning sickness, and bring it to the house when I stop by this afternoon. In the meantime, try giving Kate dry toast, soda crackers, and as strange as it may seem, a lot of pregnant women swear by salted French fries. Peppermint-ginger tea, or even water with slices of fresh ginger in it, should help as well. Sour candies or more tart fruits are also often helpful, so if Kate can stomach anything, those would be my best suggestions."

"Thank you so much, Dr. Mott," Rick sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. "We really appreciate all your help."

"No need to thank me, Rick. It's why I get paid the big bucks."

Castle chuckled and rose from the chair, feeling considerably lighter. "Well, at any rate, we'd be lost without you. Or I'd be smothered in my sleep with a pillow, but you get my drift."

"I've met your wife. I don't envy you one bit," she chuckled through the phone. "I have a few patients to see before noon, but I will be on call after that, so I can head to the house around two PM?"

"That's perfect, thanks again Dr. Mott." He sighed as he ended the call, and ran a hand through his hair, just as he heard the ensuite door open. He dropped the phone on his desk and entered the master, as his wife gingerly lowered herself to the bed. "Why do I feel so horrible?" she moaned. "This is stupid. I hate being pregnant."

"Honey," he soothed, lowering himself softly, to the bed beside her, taking her hand in his. "You're still recovering. You've already got so much to deal with on top of the pregnancy, no one would blame you for feeling that way today."

"And what about tomorrow? And the day after? This isn't getting any better, and I can't get back to my job if I can't stop…you know," she hesitated, wiping away a lone tear. "I hate this."

"I know," Castle sighed, kissing her head. "I'm sorry, Kate."

She sniffled and looked at him over her shoulder. "You don't have to be sorry, you know. I don't actually hate you, and I'm not delusional enough, yet, to believe this is your fault."

Castle forced a tight smile for her, and squeezed her hand in thanks. "I know. I just hate seeing you so miserable."

Kate closed her eyes and swallowed hard, then gingerly began to turn, easing herself slowly into her husband's arms. "I may be sick a lot, like insanely a lot, but I am happy. You know that, right?" When he made a non-committal sound, she sat back to look into his face. "I would take this, and a million times worse, Rick, if it meant we'd get our baby at the end of it." Castle caressed Kate's cheek, tenderly, and brought one hand to his mouth, peppering her knuckles with soft kisses.

"Castle, we made a baby. This is the most incredible thing I've ever done." She brought their joined hands to the gentle swell of her belly, obvious now, among the jut of her hipbones. "Think about it, Rick. One night. In one single night, a part of me, and a part of you, joined together and made a whole new human being. There's a tiny little person in there, right now, part of us, but totally unique." Castle kissed her fingers again, and she lay back on their bed, as he moved to expose the flesh of her abdomen.

"In twelve weeks, our baby has grown into a person with arms and legs, a brain, and a beating heart. Did you know that she's going to be able to hear you in the next few weeks? I can't wait for that, Rick. To wake up to you reading stories to my belly, and seeing how she reacts to her Daddy's voice. She's learning to control her arms and legs more too. She'll be kicking soon." Kate stroked her fingers through her husband's thick hair as he settled his cheek over the place their baby grew.

"I am so in awe of this baby, and of all the ways my body is changing to make sure she's safe and healthy. Even if it's making me consider moving a bed into the bathtub permanently, I know she's in there, and I already love her so much, I'd do anything for her."

"You're amazing, you know that?" he leaned forward, gently kissing the crown of her head. "You're such a good Mommy."

Kate scoffed and closed her eyes. "I don't know about that, but thank you."

"One of these days, Katherine Beckett, you will be convinced of your virtues."

"I'm not sure it was virtue that got me into this mess in the first place," she winked, her tongue poking out playfully between the bite of her teeth. "If my deductions are correct, there was a whole lot more kink than virtue going on when we made this one."

Castle groaned, and flopped to the bed beside his giggling wife, covering her belly, dramatically, with his large hands. "Don't say things like that, Beckett. What if she hears? Just my luck she'll be the one kid in school who likes to tell the story of how they were conceived." He raised his voice into a dramatic falsetto, "one time my mommy dressed up like a naughty cop and handcuffed daddy to the bed, and then they made me." Kate laughed gently, covering his hands atop her belly, with his.

"Don't worry, Daddy. She'll be just fine, although I'm not sure which one of us we'd be better off with her taking after."

"We still haven't discussed just how wild that phase of yours was," Castle groaned again, as Kate raised her eyebrows, and flopped an arm across his eyes. "I'm so screwed."

Kate laughed again and rolled herself slowly, to face her husband. "I'm not worried, Rick. Look at Alexis. She's incredible, and you managed that all by yourself. This little one has the best Daddy ever, a family that loves her and a couple of homicide detectives and an ME for aunts and uncles. There's going to be no place on Earth she can behave badly enough where she's not going to be dragged home in a squad car. She wouldn't dare risk that kind of humiliation." She stroked his face tenderly, running her fingers through the flop of hair at his forehead. "Seriously though, Babe, she's going to be perfect, and you really are an incredible father." He took her fingers in his and gently kissed her fingertips. "You make me believe that I'm going to be a good mom."

"Oh Kate," he drew her gently into his arms, tucking her head beneath his chin. "You already are. You're only going to get better." She sighed into his chest, and they both lay silently in the cocoon of their bedroom, Castle listening to the slowing, even breaths of his wife drifting into sleep. He stroked her hair lazily and allowed his eyes to slip shut, completely relaxed. The shrill pierce of the telephone broke the stillness and Kate jerked awake, gasping at the sudden movement. She absently brought her hand to the scar on her abdomen, an expression between a grimace and a glare on her face.

"You called the doctor, didn't you?" Castle quickly turned from her and walked to the office to retrieve the offending device. "You're lucky I have to throw up again, otherwise you'd be a dead man."

* * *

 _Thanks for all the great reviews, and I'm so sorry I suck so badly at responding to them all. Thirty-eight days left until school starts again, and I don't have to spend all my days cleaning the same two rooms over and over again, or breaking up fights. I miss writing, and I keep waking up in the middle of the night with entire chapters written in my head, and no time to get them down. I do have about fifteen single sentence documents with all those ideas down and waiting to be written, so they will happen. It's my son's birthday today, ten years since he was stillborn, and I'm planning on writing until I pass out tonight, so I can't think about being sad anymore. I have a crying hangover, and the Castle family are all screaming the stories at once, so it's loud and crazy in my head. Bear with me, and your patience will be rewarded in the form of lots and lots of chapters tonight. You guys are awesome, and I am so grateful for the follows, favourites and reviews._

 _I'd also love to get some prompts in this crazy headcanon so many of us seem to share. Doesn't matter how mundane or boring the scene may seem, sometimes all we need is a fluffy little nothing chapter to make us smile. So, if there's a story you would like to have told, send me a message and I'll see what I can do. I love to play with this little family, so much. Thanks guys, and I hope you enjoy._


	11. Whispers in the Dark

_So, this happened. Please note the rating change, although this chapter is only slightly M-ish._

* * *

Sweat clung to her back, cooling her bare skin as she settled on her stomach, her right arm curling under the pillow. She closed her eyes and hummed a sigh of contentment, feeling Castle settle himself beside her. When the movement stopped, her eyes slipped open, finding his in the muted darkness.

She blinked shyly before speaking. "Hi."

He smiled, cautious yet content, and reached a hand out to stroke the damp hair from her cheek. "Hi."

"Castle, I…"

"Not now, Kate, please," sighing, he rolled to his back and ran a hand down his face. "I just want to have you here now. You can freak out in the morning."

"I'm not freaking out. That's not what I was going to say," Kate propped herself up on her arm, but made no move to cover herself, reaching instead, for his hand. Twining her slender fingers in his, she marvelled briefly at his quiet strength, the breadth of his palm, and how thoroughly he could encompass her body with his. "Castle, I've never done this before. I've never even come close, and it's overwhelming."

Rick looked at her, confusion etched in his features, as the lightning split the sky. "I'm not sure what you're talking about, 'cause we just had mind blowing sex, and I'm pretty sure it's not the first time for either of us."

Kate chuffed out a laugh, and bowed her head slightly. "That's not what I mean." She paused, collecting her words. "It wasn't just sex, it felt different, like more. It's never been more before. No one has ever…" she paused and hid behind the drape of her curls. "No one has ever made love to me before. I never believed it was more than just some romantic sentiment people spewed out to make it more than just sex. But this was more."

Castle nodded in the darkness, rolling his body back towards her, and pulled the fingertips of her free hand to his lips. "For me too, Kate. It felt different for me too. Because it is different."

Kate took a deep breath, and lifted her face to meet his eyes. "Because you love me." It wasn't a question, just a simple statement, and Rick closed his eyes against the onslaught of emotion that washed over him.

"Yeah, Kate. Because I love you. I've loved you for a long time, I think you know that already, and because you are more than I ever imagined I could have."

She blinked in surprise, and leaned forward slightly, tenderly kissing his lips. "I'm not some unattainable princess, Castle. You have me on this insanely high pedestal that I don't belong on. I'm just a woman; a regular woman who hides from her emotions, and sometimes gets scared of being alone in the dark, but I'm not some prize to be won. You haven't had to prove yourself to me for a very long time, and I think you know that." She traced the lines on his face, ones she had memorized long ago, and leaned in for another soft kiss. Pulling back slightly, she slipped down the bed, into his arms, sighing as she settled her head against his broad chest, and slid her knee between his. "We've made such a mess of things, and I want to fix it. I want to get this right."

"And by this you mean…"

Kate pulled her head back and smirked. "Are you always this dense after sex? Us Castle, you and me, a relationship."

Castle tugged her toward him roughly, capturing her mouth with his. His kiss seared her flesh, and she moaned into the press of his hands at her back. He was relentless. Teeth and lips and tongues tangled together, passionate, and brutal all at once, until he simply stopped, and pulled away. Kate's chest heaved breathlessly, and she stared at him in shock as he settled back against his pillow.

"Can I just say that I really like this new talking thing we're doing here. I'm going to buy your therapist a Ferrari."

Kate laughed and settled back in beside him, swatting his chest gently. "Ass."

"In all seriousness, though, I know how hard it must have been for you to come to me. To let go of the control and tell me any of this."

"You're worth it, Rick," she responded quietly, kissing a spot above his heart. "I should have done it a long time ago. I was just so afraid we'd lose what we already have, and as much as I wished we were more, you are my best friend. My life would be less without you in it at all."

"I think we've both let ourselves get too comfortable with that fear. We've both let ourselves get trapped behind it and watch the past four years go by without us, but maybe we needed that time to get us here." Castle skimmed his fingertips gently over the curve of Kate's spine, and she hummed at the sparks his touch elicited over her flesh.

"Here is good," she agreed, fingers seeking their own exploration of his body. "I like here." He yelped slightly as she squeezed the firm roundness of his ass, giggling into his shoulder.

"Oh, you want to play that game, do you?" he growled, shifting them quickly, pinning her to the mattress beneath his solid bulk. Kate gasped with arousal, submitting to the physical power he exerted over her. The bedroom lights flickered slightly, and finally sprang to life, the storm, she noticed, no longer raging outside. For the first time since she took his hand to lead him inside, they saw each other clearly.

Her brows knit with confusion at the frown that overtook his face. "Kate, what…" he pulled away slightly, and slid his gaze down her body. "What the hell happened to you? God, did I?"

"No," she shouted, heaving herself up the mattress to grab hold of his shoulders as he kneeled in front of her. "You didn't hurt me. You could never hurt me."

Rick stuttered out a ragged breath and ran his fingertips over the bruises adorning her throat, the cage of her ribs. "Is this from…" he didn't continue, and Kate simply nodded, leaning forward to join their foreheads.

"Maddox. He took me down like I was nothing. Tossed me around for a bit before he threw me off the roof."

"Wait, what?" Castle recoiled in horror. "You fell off a roof? Jesus!" He dropped to his haunches and ran a hand over his face again. "I need pants. I think we both need clothes on for this conversation." He rose from the bed and retrieved the silk boxers from the floor. Kate drew her knees to her chest, and simply watched, overwhelmed by the sight of him, bare before her. She watched the ripple of his back as he ran a hand through his hair, and yanked open a dresser drawer. He pulled something out and turned back towards her, catching sight of her eyes on him. "What?"

She smiled and shook her head softly, as he approached her, reaching out for the shirt he offered her. She felt the bed dip beside her, as she slipped the soft cotton over her head, and sighed at the touch of his fingers on the back of her neck, freeing the damp tangle of her hair from under the material. Mumbling her thanks, she drew her legs in, and slid backwards, toward the headboard, making herself as comfortable as possible, in the wake of what was sure to be an unpleasant conversation. Castle made no attempts to speak, so she took a moment to gather her thoughts and began.

"Espo and I went to find Maddox. He was holed up in a hotel on the lower-east side. He got the drop on us and knocked Javi out before taking off for the roof. I followed him up and…"

"Wait!" Castle interrupted, angrily. "YOU followed him up? Where the hell was your backup, Beckett? Please don't tell me went without backup."

Beckett closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, hearing his muttered curse as her silence confirmed his suspicions. She turned her head to watch him, pain in her chest blooming at his misery, as his head hit the wall behind him with a dull thunk. His eyes slid closed and he waited for her to continue.

"I followed Maddox up to the roof, and we fought. He dropped me, eventually, he was too strong, and he landed some kicks in before he started taunting me." Beckett watched Castle closely, gauging his reaction. He remained still beside her. "He told me I'd never find the man he worked for, that I'd die for nothing, and he just tossed me off the roof like I was some broken doll." Castle flinched slightly, and Kate reached for his hand before continuing. "I grabbed the side, and I held on. I heard your voice and I fought to keep my hold on the edge."

Castle finally opened his eyes, turning his head to the side, meeting her watery gaze with the crystal blue of his resignation. Kate stroked his fingers, entwined with hers, and lowered her head, ashamed.

"I heard you calling for me, telling me to hang on, and I wanted so badly to just tell you everything. How sorry I was for hurting you, for getting stuck in my mother's case, and how much I wanted you. How in love with you I am." She released his hand to caress the smooth skin of his cheek. "I am you know. So much in love with you."

Castle lunged for her, hauling her into his lap as their lips fused. The sensations were overwhelming. His hands were everywhere, burning their way across her body, up her back as he rid her of his shirt, her hips as he gripped her tightly, and her hair as they tangled in her locks and tugged roughly, exposing the mottled flesh of her throat for his taking. His mouth thoroughly claimed her, his passion almost bruising, and she cried out from the intensity of his lips on her skin. She was burning. Every touch of him on her body, tattooing her with an invisible mark.

Mine.

She was forever ruined for anyone else; utterly his, mind, body, and soul.

While their first time had been slow and exploratory, blind in the darkness, this time was emboldened and fierce. They took from each other as much as they offered, their bodies synchronized in the rhythm they had long since perfected. Kate rose and fell above him, his arms banded tightly around her back, never getting close enough. Tears leaked from her eyes as she poured out her love for him, whispers, moans, and the press of her lips against his. She cried out against his mouth, as she fell over the edge, and the stuttering rhythm of his hips beneath hers, answered her release. The kisses gentled, as her body draped heavily against him, and the sweat tickled as it traced a path down her aching spine. She dropped her forehead to his shoulder as her breathing slowed, and steadied.

"Wow," the husk of Castle's voice rumbled through her, as she lay, entwined, over him. She laughed softly, and he gasped at the sensation, before shifting and withdrawing from her body, rolling them gently to the mattress. She hummed against his chest, pressing gentle kisses to his sweat slicked skin, as he drew the sheets up and around her.

"I love this," she sighed, entirely content.

"Which part?" Castle finally quieted his fussing, kissing the top of her head. "Because, damn Beckett."

Kate barked out a laugh and pulled back to look at him, once again. "While I completely agree with that sentiment, I meant just being here like this." She snuggled back into his chest, and continued. "You're the writer, not me, but I love the way your skin feels against mine." Castle's agreement rumbled through his chest as she traced invisible patterns across his body. "I love how small you make me feel, does that sound weird?" He didn't answer, and the slowing pound of his heart made her think maybe he had fallen asleep. "You can completely surround me, and it makes me feel safe. I haven't felt like that in a long time."

"Pretty good for not-a-writer," his words startled her slightly. He hummed an apology into her hair, and she melted, once again, into his embrace. "Now, I believe we left off with you hanging onto the edge of a roof."

"Castle…" she groaned, burying her face in his chest. "Do we have to do this now? It's been a really long day and I just don't want to hash it out anymore tonight."

"Yeah, Kate, we need to do this now," his voice was hard and insistent. "I want a new day tomorrow, not more of this. I want this all over and out in the open tonight, and tomorrow I want to be able to wake up beside you with nothing between us. Literally. No secrets, no revelations, and preferably, no clothes."

Kate sighed in resignation, but made no move to pull away from the comfort of his embrace. "Fine. Long story short, Ryan showed up and pulled me back up, Gates was with him, and pissed. She suspended Javi and I, and…" she hesitated slightly, unsure how to continue. "And I quit."

"You quit. As in your job, Kate? You quit your job? Why?" The desperate surprise in his voice was almost laughable, but she pushed down what she knew would end up as hysterical crying, and snuggled closer in his arms.

"Yes, I quit my job. I realized that everything you said to me this morning was true. My life isn't worth my job, and if my mother was here, she'd murder me herself for letting it rule my life so completely. I became a cop to catch my mom's killer, and I want to be more than that. I want to have a life with you, and I want to be free from this weight I've been carrying around for almost fifteen years."

"It's not an either or, Kate. I don't need you to quit your job for me, I fell in love with you knowing full well who you are, and you are the best cop in this city. You love your job."

"I love you more," she stated, easily. "If I had to choose, it would be you, every time."

"I'm not asking you to choose," he half-shouted, his arms rigid around her.

Beckett could feel the tension radiating through his body, and she pulled herself away from the warmth of his arms, to give him room to process her words.

"You can still be a cop and have this," Rick gestured between the two of them wildly. "I couldn't live with myself if you stop doing what you love because of me."

"Oh Castle," Kate sighed, cradling his face in her hands. "I do love my job, I love the puzzle, and being able to get justice for people who are hurting, but from the very beginning, and every day since, my job is death. I don't want to be mired in death anymore. I want to live."

Rick leaned forward, their foreheads touching softly. "If you're sure, about this, then I'll support you one-hundred percent."

"I'm sure," she kissed the tip of his nose before brushing it gently with her own. "Now, I don't want you to freak out, but I kind of got a beat-down, and now that the adrenaline has worn off, I hurt like hell."

"God, Kate," Castle recoiled as if he'd been burned. "Shit, I am so sorry. I didn't hurt you, did I? I'll get you some Ibuprofen." He tossed the blankets away and threw his legs over the edge of the bed, but was slowed by the soft wrap of her hand, around his bicep.

"Castle," she soothed. "I would love a few painkillers, but I'll be fine. What I would really like, is for you to take me into your ridiculously large shower, help me wash my hair, maybe toss my clothes in the dryer, and spend the rest of the night loving me. Can we do that?"

He smiled gently, and leaned back across the bed for a sweet kiss. "I think I can work with that."

* * *

 _Thanks again for hanging in there, and for the great reviews. They are my nerd-crack. I have been bitten by the bug and literally, have seven or eight documents with just a plot point saved, waiting for a spare moment to get them all down. They're coming at me faster than I can write them. I promise, I'll get better. Only a few more weeks until school starts again, and I become an aimless and unemployed lump on my couch, with nothing to do but write. There is nothing I'd rather be doing. Show may be over, but Castle and Beckett are still my happy place, and I'll write them until the day they run out of things to say. You are all awesome, and I appreciate every single one of you reading their story._


	12. Trick or Treat

"Good morning, Detectives," the chipper bass of his voice rang through the bullpen, and Captain Beckett turned her head towards her office door with a smile, despite the annoyed huff of the Commissioner through the phone at her ear. Beckett sat up slightly, catching a glimpse of her husband as he clapped Esposito on the shoulder and said something that made Ryan laugh, hearing her name through the phone, she took a breath and refocussed her attention.

"Yes sir, all the data supporting the success rate and the budgetary requirements for the 12th precinct are outlined in my report. Despite the lack of resources, you will note that my team is performing to exceptional standards, and frankly, they're killing themselves to do it." She looked up as a shadow filled her doorway, and smiled as Rick Castle entered her office.

She gestured toward the chair on the other side of her desk, and rolled her eyes for dramatic effect as he grinned back at her, taking a seat. "I am fully aware of the city's budget, sir, however, if you look at the numbers and the hours of overtime…" Her face pinched in frustration and she rubbed her forehead, attempting to ease the tension these phone calls always created. "I understand, sir. I'll do what I can."

Castle was watching her, studiously, from across her desk, and the action which once annoyed her to no end, was now oddly comforting. She lifted her head and lifted the corners of her mouth, a forced smile of thanks, and he reached across the desk to squeeze her hand. "Thank you, sir. I'll have the report to you on Monday." Beckett hung up the phone and exhaled deeply.

"Rough day?" Castle soothed, stroking her hand with the pad of his thumb.

"I hate politics," Kate sighed. "How's your morning going? Better than mine I hope."

Rick grinned and leaned back in his seat. "It's been very productive. Lily got ready for preschool like a flash, I took pictures of her in her costume for you. She's adorable."

Kate smiled and felt the tension ease at the sound of her husband's voice, the mention of their little girl.

"I got through my meeting in record time, and even managed to squeeze out two chapters." Kate grinned inwardly as his chest puffed out with pride. He deserved it, she was always proud of him, but there was no way she could let him know it regularly. His ego would be unstoppable, and she liked to keep him humble.

"I'm not pulling you away from anything?"

"Nothing is more important than my beautiful wife." He was such a smooth talker, sometimes. It gave her a secret thrill when he focussed his attention solely on her. "I needed a change of scenery. A lunch date with a gorgeous woman is the perfect end to the morning."

"Oh, well, I won't keep you from her, then." Beckett teased. "I've got paperwork to do anyway."

"You're the only woman in the world I see, Kate." And just like that, he managed to gain the upper hand and completely turn her insides to mush. God, she was such a girl.

"I love you too, Babe." Kate stood from her chair and grinned as she moved towards him, arms wrapping around his midsection as their eyes met. "Thanks for the break."

Castle grinned and waggled his eyebrows. "Anytime, although I can think of a few ways we could make this morning go out with a…bang."

Kate groaned and shoved him away playfully. "Lame, Castle. Seriously, lame."

"Made you smile though," he winked. "My work here is done."

"I seriously hope not. I'm starving and I have a few tricks for my Halloween date."

Castle grinned and clenched excitedly, he was such a kid sometimes. He kept her young, and she laughed at his silly expression.

"Come on Castle. Lunch is waiting."

"Oooh, where are we going? Somewhere cool? Somewhere scary? Do we need costumes?"

Beckett shook her head at his enthusiasm as she gathered her coat and purse. "No, no and no. Just lunch, Rick. You'll just have to wait and see what I have up my sleeve."

Castle shuddered with exaggerated arousal at the teasing husk of her voice, and reached out for her hand. "Lead the way Captain. I am at your mercy."

"Don't you forget it," his wife winked, teasing again as she led him through the bullpen towards the elevator. "I'm out for the rest of the day, Sergeants," she winked to Ryan and Esposito. "You know where to find me if the city goes to Hell, this weekend. Otherwise, I'll see you on Monday."

"See'ya Beckett," Ryan called from his desk at the head of the Bullpen. Esposito gave them both a silent nod before the elevator doors slid shut, separating the couple from the ever-chaotic homicide floor.

"You're taking the day off, are you? Anything naked in mind for the rest of the day?"

Beckett rolled her eyes at her husband's mischievous grin, and reached out for his hand. "That's for me to know, and you to find out, cowboy."

"Ooh, roleplay. Kinky."

"Hold that thought. I really did mean food when I said I was starving. Julia's holding our booth at Remy's, so we need to get moving. After that, you are free to do with me, as you please." Kate smirked at her husband's growing leer, and planted a smacking kiss on his cheek, as the elevator doors slid open to the lobby, and the chilly New York streets.

They walked in silence, the few blocks to the diner, their joined hands swinging gently as they walked. Castle surreptitiously casting glances her way, trying to work out his wife's sudden and unexpected plans. This was Kate's favourite game, presenting a mystery of her own making, for her ever curious husband to crack. Watching his expressions as he worked through the evidence in his head, examining the clues and working backwards to create a timeline. He was so childlike in his enthusiasm for solving the mysteries she gave him, his joy radiated to everyone around him, namely Kate Beckett. Her heart was so full just watching how he enjoyed the time he spent playing with her.

Giving his hand an abrupt squeeze, Kate snapped Rick out of his reverie, and dragged him through the heavy door to the restaurant. She waved in greeting to Julia, their frequent and most adoring server, and led her husband to the circular booth at the back of the room. Castle helped her slide the wool coat from her shoulders and they slid into opposite sides of the booth.

They didn't bother to open their menus, and Julia nodded wordlessly to the couple from across the room, at their unspoken order, the typical signal for 'the usual'. Castle clasped Kate's hands in his across the scarred wood of the tabletop, and brought her knuckles to his mouth for a gentle kiss.

"This is nice. I feel like I haven't seen you all week."

"I know," Kate groaned, closing her eyes for a moment. "The universe has definitely been conspiring against us. I don't remember having so many murders come through the doors, like they have these past few weeks."

"Book releases, and signings and sick little girls don't exactly help the situation any," Castle soothed. "It's been crazy, but it's over now. Here we are, together at last."

Kate grinned back at him, releasing his hands as two milkshakes were set in front of them. "Thank you, you wonderful human being," she all but moaned as she took the first sip, earning a chuckle from the waitress.

Castle smirked at her, amused, and reached for his own shake. "Do you want me to leave you alone with that for a few minutes?"

Kate laughed softly, returning to her dark chocolate mocha shake. "I forgot how good this was. I don't remember the last time we were here."

"Me either, now that I think of it. I miss it."

"Remy's or us?" Kate softened, caressing his broad knuckles under her fingertips.

"Never us, Kate. The past few weeks have been nuts, yes, but we're solid. We don't usually have so much trouble squeezing out time for each other, or Lily. But, now that my commitments for the book have all been met, I'm all yours. People will stop killing each other and you'll be home for dinner again, just like normal."

"Ha," Kate barked out a laugh. "This is New York, babe. People kill each other over just about anything in this city. That's not going to stop anytime soon."

"Perks of being the boss lady. Delegate and retreat." He grinned again, pleased with himself at Kate's lightening mood, and she huffed a silent laugh and shook her head.

"I'm working on a restructuring plan for the 12th, our numbers are through the roof and I'm hoping a shift in the command structure will free things up a bit, give me more teams working fewer hours so we can keep knocking them out. I've got four sergeants just sitting there, I could use them to take more leadership of the units and keep them moving, I'm just fighting for the approval from 1PP. You know how easy the politicos respond to change."

"Bureaucracy at it's finest."

"I'm juggling too many things that could easily be delegated out, so I can focus on the things that I absolutely have to focus on. I don't want to live at the Precinct anymore. I'm so tired."

"I know, Honey. You'll convince them. They know how the 12th has performed for years, they'd be stupid to let that slip, especially with you at the helm. You've done a lot of good there the past few years. Plus, you're like America's Sweetheart of cops. The entire city has watched you take down drug rings and consortiums and give awesome press conferences. It's not terrible that New York gets effectual crime solving while having a stunningly beautiful woman to look at in the process."

Kate laughed again, and tucked a stray hair behind her ear, releasing his hands as their food was placed in front of them. "Thanks? I think. Although that sounds suspiciously like you're saying if I can't make my case, my boobs will do it for me."

Castle laughed and snagged a cherry tomato from Kate's salad. "You gotta go with what works, Beckett."

Kate shook her head and retaliated, pinching a french fry from Rick's plate and dipping it into his milkshake. She grinned and popped it in her mouth as he wrinkled his nose. "Contaminate your own milkshake, woman."

"Says the man who puts marshmallow fluff on hot dogs."

"Hey, hot dogs plus marshmallows is just good math. Don't go casting dispersions on the Fluffy Dog until you've tried it."

Kate laughed aloud, and reached into her purse, sliding out a bright orange envelope. "I have no doubt I will be experiencing this Fluffy Dog in the very near future." She smiled bashfully, and slid the envelope across the table, earning a thrilled and playful gasp from her husband.

"Oooh, presents for me. And it's not even my birthday. What is it? No wait, let me guess. Give me a hint."

"Let's just say, it's not something I ever thought I'd be handing out for Halloween, Castle," she rolled her eyes at his antics, and sat back in her seat to watch, as he slid the card from inside.

"Even zombies and witches can't compare to the horror of…" he glanced up at her, and narrowed his eyes, searching her face for clues. Despite the pink blossoming across her cheeks, her face remained blank. He separated the black and orange cardboard and snuck one last glance at her before reading the rest aloud. "…My wife cutting down to one cup of coffee a day." He chuckled briefly before scrunching his face up in thought, puzzling out the vague message. When he lifted his gaze and met the soft, telling smile that graced his wife's entire face, he got it.

"Are you…? Seriously? Oh my God, Kate! Say it. I want to hear you say it."

Her eyes glistened and she laughed, drowning out the sounds of the city with the force of her joy. She leaned forward, taking his face in her hands, and gently kissing his mouth, still slack with his shock.

"Happy Halloween, Daddy. We're having a baby."

"Kate,Kate,Kate," he thrust his hands into her hair and practically leapt over the table, her name spilling from his lips like a chant as he hauled her into his arms. "God, I love you. This is… A baby. We're having a baby."

Kate laughed again, her eloquent and verbose husband, struck dumb by impending fatherhood. She hadn't been nearly as stunned, that niggling feeling in the back of her mind eased her into the idea slowly, but it was so different this time. No threat of death, no recovery period, no terror overwhelming the joy they should have had when they learned of their daughter's existence. Kate wanted nothing more than to give Rick back that explosive experience of hope, promise and love that they should have experienced together, once before. Rick squeezed her tighter still and murmured his love into her hair.

She was drawn to awareness at the sound of slow applause surrounding them. She gentled Castle with a soft kiss to the side of his neck before pulling back slightly and casting a curious glance around her husband's large frame. The patrons of Remy's were on their feet, laughter and a smattering of applause still sounding out through the small room, celebrating with them. Kate blushed furiously, and clung to her husband, seeing the weepy expressions of the wait staff that had served them for years, and the more sentimental of the lunchtime crowd. She buried her face in his chest, embarrassed at being caught in such an intimate moment.

"Let's get the rest of this packed up and go home to celebrate," Castle squeezed her hand, his eyes tender and so very much in love with her.

"Sounds good," she agreed, sighing in relief as the crowd returned to their meals and casual conversation, their attention no longer focussed on the couple.

Julia, ever the mind reader was already approaching the table with Styrofoam packaging. Her eyes still glistened, and she embraced Kate briefly and wordlessly, before reaching for the half-filled plates.

Castle slid Kate's coat back over her arms, slipping her hair from beneath the collar, his hands lingering for a moment before letting go. He grinned at their waitress and handed her a crisp hundred-dollar bill, winking at her.

"Keep the rest. This was the best lunch of my entire life."

The server grinned in appreciation, as Kate laughed softly, squeezing the younger woman's arm before following her husband towards the city outside.

"I can't wait to tell everyone, Kate. Lily's going to lose her mind when she finds out she's going to be a big sister."

She watched him bouncing on his toes, his smile so bright, the energy rolling off him in waves, and she wrapped her arm around his, pulling in close.

"It's all you, Babe. I should probably tell my dad myself, and we'll talk to Lily together, but you can have the rest. Tell the world if you want, Rick."

"I can't believe this is happening, Kate. It's so surreal."

She simply smiled, and patted his arm in quiet agreement.

"There is one thing I know for sure, though."

"Oh yeah, what's that?" Kate sighed, excitement and exhaustion finally catching up with her.

"You really are scary without your coffee."


	13. Deuces Wild

Kate fidgeted, nervously in the vinyl covered chair, pulling her shirt collar away from her neck to let the office air cool her rapidly overheating body. Castle sat calmly beside her, seriously, who was this man, reading a magazine as if they were merely in line to pay a parking ticket. Jerk, she was seriously sweating, and she had to pee so very badly, and the queasy feeling that had settled in her stomach early that morning was rapidly making itself known. She really hoped it was just nerves, and the result of her severe discomfort, and that the horrific morning sickness she had experienced with Lily wasn't finally showing up to the party.

"You are seriously antsy this morning, Kate. What's the matter?"

She glared at her husband as calmly watched her over his magazine.

"How are you still wearing your coat. It's a thousand degrees in here. And I'm not sure what twisted sociopath decided that making a pregnant woman drink a ton of water, to sit in a waiting room and then get all poked at, was a good idea. I don't think I've ever had to pee this bad," she hissed, her annoyance bouncing off him as if he were immune. God, he probably was at this point. He was such a man.

He simply watched for a moment as she lifted her hair off the back of her neck, and settled back into her seat, her eyes never leaving his. Silently placing the magazine on the table beside him, he stood and moved beside his wife, reaching into his pocket, and pulling out a hair tie, as if by magic.

"Here, try this."

Kate released a frustrated breath, and took the elastic, pulling her hair high up on her head, in a messy bun.

"Thanks."

"I live to serve," he smiled softly. "Give me your hands."

"Why, Castle?" her whine shocked even her. "I'm so hot."

"Just give me your hands, Kate. Let me unbutton your cuffs so you can roll your sleeves up a bit."

"Oh." Now she just felt like crap. Here she was whining and imagining all the ways she could make her husband just as uncomfortable as she was, and he was being sweet to her. She blinked back tears and wondered when she had become such a…girl. This pregnancy was not going to go well for anyone.

Kate watched Rick as he adjusted the creases in the final fold of her shirt-sleeve, and brought her hand to his lips. She closed her eyes and sighed, as his cool breath washed over the heated skin of her wrists. He was so good to her. She didn't deserve him.

"Thanks, Castle." Smiling ruefully, she squeezed his knee with her free hand and dropped her head to his shoulder. "Sorry I'm such a bitch today. Probably more like this week, though."

"Hey now, Captain. Be nice to my wife. She's having my baby."

Beckett couldn't even muster up the mirth to laugh at his soothing attempts.

"Honestly, Kate. You forget that I was there for the first year of our partnership. Pregnant, moody, whiny Kate, is still a million times nicer to me, than Beckett, year one."

This time she managed a quiet, amused huff.

"Still. I don't like taking it out on you. Especially on our Anniversary."

"Ah yes. Five years of wedded bliss to yours truly. You are a very lucky woman, Kate Beckett." Castle winked at her, and tossed out the charming smile he used when he was trying to cajole her back to happiness.

"Hey, Rick." She sat forward in her seat and took both of her hands in his. "I am. I know, I am. You are so very good to me, and I can't imagine doing this with anyone else."

"I wasn't fishing for anything, Honey," he leaned forward and kissed her forehead, affectionately. "I just don't like to see you so down."

Kate sighed and twisted awkwardly in her seat to get closer, dropping her forehead to her husband's broad shoulder.

"I'm just overwhelmed, I think." She felt the sound of his deep, rumbling bass, in his noise of affirmation, and continued. "I'm nervous, you know. We get to see our baby today, and I'm so excited, but I'm also afraid that something might be wrong."

"Hey, now. You don't need to explain anything to me, Kate. I get it. And I feel the same way. But you're doing all the hard work here, and my only job for the immediate future, is to do what I can to make it easier for you. If that means comic relief and foot rubs, then I'm your man."

Kate huffed again, and kissed his cheek softly. "You, Rick Castle, are imperative to my happiness in every way possible. How's that for a job?"

"I'll take it," he grinned, squeezing her hand.

"But I seriously have to pee, and if they don't call us in soon…"

Beckett bolted out of her chair at the sound of her name being called. Chuckling behind her, Castle grabbed her coat and purse and followed his wife's slender form down the hallway to the open exam room door.

"Nice to see you both again," the doctor grinned, as Kate took a seat on the sheeted exam table. "It looks like we need to get this over with as quickly as possible and get you to a washroom, so we'll talk as we go, does that work for you?"

"Oh, yes please," Kate shuddered, lifting her shirt to expose the soft skin of her belly, and the slight bump that formed.

"So, you said you are around 10 weeks, if we go by your calculations?" Kate nodded silently, and reached for Rick's hand, the doctor spreading the warm gel across her skin.

With a flick of his wrist, the whooshing heartbeat of their baby filled the room. Kate blinked back tears and Castle kissed her knuckles, tenderly.

"Well now, what do we have here?"

"What?" Kate whipped her head around to look at the older woman that had delivered their daughter nearly four years ago. "What's wrong?"

"No, no, Kate," she soothed. "Everything is fine."

Kate released a breath and turned her head briefly to look over at her husband. He looked about as unnerved as she felt. He turned his lips up in a forced smile, for her benefit and she squeezed his hand again as the doctor rotated the ultrasound screen.

"See this little flicker right here?"

"A heartbeat," Kate whispered astonished at the tiny form on the screen. "It's so strong."

"If that's the heart, then what's that other flicker back there?" Castle's nose pinched as he tried to get a closer look. "I don't remember anything like that on Lily's ultrasounds."

"Ah, that's because your daughter never had one of those."

"Wait, does that mean it's a boy?" Castle's eyes grew wide with astonished hope. Kate so wanted to make that hope a reality with a little boy. A dark-haired imp with his father's eyes and sense of wonder.

"Well, it's too soon to tell that for sure."

"I don't get it," he looked to his wife for some sort of clue, but Kate just shrugged gently, just as confused. "If you can't tell it's a boy, what does it have that Lily didn't? How is that even possible?"

"Well, Mom and Dad," the doctor began, a mischievous glint in her eye. "This little one here, is your baby, and this little shape over here is…"

"Oh, dear God," Kate exclaimed, her eyes widening. "Is that…"

"That's your baby's brother or sister."

Castle dropped Kate's hand about the same time his jaw hit the floor. "There's two of them in there?"

"Congratulations you two. You're having twins."

Kate was still staring at the screen in disbelief, her hand at her forehead in what Castle could only call "panicked Beckett."

"Two," she whispered. "Two of them at the same time." Her voice grew steadily as she spoke, until she was all but shouting. "What are we going to do with two babies at the same time, Castle. That's twice the diapers, and twice the feedings, and twice the stuff and twice the sleeplessness. How the Hell are we supposed to survive twice the sleeplessness?"

"I think I'll give you two a moment to absorb this information," the still smirking woman stood, Castle realized, mirthlessly, that she probably saw this reaction a lot.

"Hey, Kate. Hey, just breathe." He stood from his seat beside her, shaking off his own shock to console his wife. "It's going to be fine. It's going to be better than fine. We made two babies, Kate."

His wife moaned and returned her hand to her forehead. "One baby was hard enough, Castle. Don't you remember? How are we going to do it with two of them?"

"We'll do it together, Sweetheart, just like we do everything else." Rick squeezed her hand gently, and waited as she collected herself with a deep breath. "Yeah, it will be harder than one baby, but look at it this way. No more longing to hold your baby when you have to give it up to someone else who wants a turn. Twice the cuddles, twice the baby giggles, a built in best friend to entertain each other with. It may be twice the work, but it's twice the love too." He smiled bashfully, and Kate felt the tension seep from her body. "We can do this, love."

"Yeah," Kate husked. "You're right. We can do this. It's going to be fine."

"It's going to be great."

His words, his beautiful, perfect, words had held her together, yet again, she mused. Images of curled up in their bed, each cradling a dark-haired bundle; two diapered babies giggling together on the floor, two rowdy toddlers playing happily with their big sister, she wanted that more than anything.

She smiled brightly as he wiped the gel from her belly, his fingertips feathering across the spot their two babies grew.

"It's going to be perfect."

Castle beamed back at her, leaning down to kiss her, soft and chaste, a promise.

"Best. Anniversary gift. Ever!"

Kate laughed aloud, pulling the soft fabric of her shirt over her skin.

"There's only one thing that could make it better, right now, Castle."

He held her hands as she slid down from the table.

"Anything, love. Anything you want."

"I need to pee."


	14. The Love Haze

**_Thank you, thank you, thank you, to all of you who send me your amazing reviews and have favourited this story, and I apologize profusely that I suck so bad at responding to everyone. You are all so wonderful, and I am so happy that you are enjoying these little forays into my Caskett headcanon. There is still so much story to tell, and I will do my best to create the future we weren't given. I apologize for my slow updates, I have a folder of 'moments' that I have written in my own mind, they just need to be transferred to the proverbial page, and real life has rudely interfered in my desire to sit and do nothing but write. The muse is striking more often now that the kids are back in school, and is more persistent than ever, so be patient and I will keep them coming._**

 ** _I am an expert in nothing, except the copious amounts of life practice I have with pregnancies, babies, kids, marriage, and the million ways to struggle and survive through every day. Love to you all and thank you again for taking this journey with me. You are all a part of my crazy muse._**

* * *

Kate woke to the sounds of the city behind the half-opened blinds of the bedroom, and a lancing pain in her breasts. She cursed under her breath, and eased her legs slowly, over the side of the bed, searching awkwardly for the slippers she vaguely remembered leaving there the night before. She could smell the coffee, freshly brewed, and something savory being prepared, and her stomach gurgled in anticipation. Kate sighed, donned her thick wool cardigan, and gently made her way to the kitchen.

Castle stood at the stove, quietly manipulating some breakfast concoction in the skillet. Kate smiled at his sleep tousled hair, and the flannel pants slung low on his hips. She loved him like this, rumpled and carefree, lost in whatever stories he was writing in his head. Her heart stuttered at the sudden, jerky movements of the tiny baby, cocooned in a fluffy pink blanket, as she slept in a bouncing chair on the counter. Her baby. Theirs. She was a mom. Not for the first time since she and Rick had come home a few short days ago with their first child cradled in her mother's arms, Kate was thunderstruck by the mere idea of Lily. The sight of the girl made Kate's heart flutter in her chest, and her breath catch, still. She was tiny, pink, perfection, and Kate Beckett was head over heels in love. With both of them.

Rick jostled the baby's chair, soothing her with the deep cadence of his voice, and instantly, Lily settled back into sleep. Seeing Rick as a father had always been one of his most attractive qualities, but now, watching him with their child did things to her insides that defied explanation. The love she had for him exploded within her breast, made her fall in love with him over, and over again, in ways she hadn't imagined. He made her weak in the knees.

Lily snuffled again, tiny fists thrashing angrily at the air, as she let out a shout of displeasure, and the ache in Kate's breasts responded to the infant's cry. Breakfast time. Kate grimaced at the discomfort and shuffled towards her husband and daughter.

"Hey, look who's up," Rick caught sight of her and grinned, jostling the baby's seat once again. "Perfect timing too, little miss is getting hungry."

Kate smiled and kissed his cheek in greeting, immediately turning to the fussing newborn. "I never would have guessed," she responded, her singsong voice capturing her daughter's attention. "Good morning my little Tiger Lily. Are you hungry?" The baby blinked and the frantic thrashing of her fists increased as Kate eased Lily into her arms. "It's a good thing. Mommy's about to explode."

Castle chuckled from his spot at the stove. "Sorry. She fussed for a minute this morning, but went back to sleep as soon as I picked her up. I figured we'd let you sleep as long as possible."

Kate bounced her way to the couch, whispering nonsense to the enraptured baby. "I appreciate it. Although she was only up a few times last night, weren't you baby girl?" She descended slowly, her muscles still aching and tender from surgery, and settled back against the cushions. Draping the throw blanket across her drawn-up knees, the baby rooted in a frenzy, the smell and feel of her mother intensifying her hunger and dissatisfaction. "Hold your horses," Kate chuckled, attempting to unbutton her sleep shirt as the baby suckled on whatever bare skin she could touch. "It's coming, baby."

"Hey now," Castle approached, setting a cup of steaming coffee and a plate of fruit on the coffee table beside her. "Don't go giving mommy hickeys everywhere. You know who will get blamed for those."

Kate laughed and shook her head, the baby, gulping loudly at her breast. "Easy there Lil, it's not going anywhere. Slow down or you're going to get a tummy ache." She stroked the baby's cheek and looked up, her husband standing silently at her feet, a contended grin splitting his face, making his ice blue eyes sparkle in the morning light. "What?" she questioned. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

Castle shook his head wordlessly, and bent down to kiss the top of her head. "This looks good on you. Motherhood. Never would have guessed you were formerly 'not a baby person'," he finished with air quotes. "You're making it look easy."

Kate shook her head self consciously and gazed down at her daughter. "It is easy. Is that weird?" Castle simply smiled again, before turning back to the kitchen. Kate continued as he fussed over breakfast. "I never imagined having a baby would be like this, all starry eyed and smitten with every single thing she does. She's even perfect when she poops, how insane is that?" She smiled as Castle barked out a laugh.

"Sadly, that does not last, before you know it you'll be cringing at the horrifying smells she can create, and pulling a best two out of three in Ro-Sham-Bo, just to avoid going near it. I get it though. It's the love haze times a million."

Kate grinned and stuck the tip of her tongue between her teeth, giddy with the raging hormones of new motherhood. Lily sagged limply, full, sated and deeply asleep, and Beckett adjusted her shirt before easing the baby up to her shoulder. She gently patted her daughter's back, humming softly, and reaching for the coffee beside her. Rick moved quietly to her side, plopping down on the couch, a plate heaping with eggs, potatoes, and bacon in his hands. "You want me to finish her up while you drink your coffee? I can put her back in the chair too."

Kate shook her head, gesturing to her husband's plate. "Go ahead. I'll eat when you're done. I just want to hold her for a while." Castle grinned again, a perpetual feature now, and dug in to his breakfast. Beckett's eyes slipped closed and she sighed happily, the warm weight of her baby nestled on her chest. Reclining lazily, she slid her daughter into the cradle of her arms and simply took her in. Thick, dark hair topped the tiny girl's head, spiky and untamed, just like her father's. It felt like satin and clouds as Kate slipped her fingertips across the fragile skill beneath it. Barely-there eyebrows decorated her forehead, the newborn acne creating tiny dots across the skin surrounding them, cascading down the perfect little button of her nose. The impossibly small mouth, rounded from dreams, into a tiny 'o', and Kate couldn't help but lean down to kiss such sweet perfection. She was a slight baby, birdlike and graceful, all Kate, with not a trace of a crease or roll anywhere on her tiny body. Lily had inherited both parents' long legs, but still, fit so perfectly in her daddy's large hands when she drew them up into her belly to sleep. Kate sighed and kissed the baby's tiny mouth again, drawing her legs toward her body as Castle settled on the cushions beside her.

"You are so beautiful."

Kate huffed out a noise of disbelief, and the baby flailed in surprise. Kate bounced a gentle apology, settling the baby immediately, and shot her husband an incredulous look.

"You are sweet and very smooth, but extremely full of BS. I'm bedraggled, probably covered in more than one bodily fluid, and these damn hormones are making me sweat like crazy. I look like a homeless person."

Castle laughed and wrapped a hand around Kate's ankle, craving the physical contact of his wife's body. "And yet, all of that just disappears when I see you look at her. I've never seen anything so amazing, Kate. The way you love her is absolutely, brilliant, it radiates everywhere, and you are the most beautiful you have ever been."

Kate tearfully reached for his hand, squeezing, a loving smile on her lips. "You're going to have to cool it with your words until these hormones are under control. I'm tired of being a sappy, weeping mess. And you are too sweet to me."

Castle chuckled and brought her hand to his lips. "Nothing's too good for my Baby Mama."

A laugh erupted from her chest, and she kicked out gently at his thigh. He always knew what to say to make her feel right at any moment. "You're a punk."

"Perhaps, but look at what I gave you." He ran a finger down Lily's arm, and grinned. "I think this little creature earns me a free pass forever."

"Or until she's two and flushing my phone down the toilet or coloring on the walls. Then we'll see how much you want to claim."

It was Castle's turn to laugh, and the baby's eyes dragged open slowly. "Touche, Captain. Now, if you don't mind, I would like to propose an opportunity to snuggle my littlest girl while her Mommy eats something."

Kate grinned and watched as their baby yawned deeply, and blinked her crystal blue eyes.

"I accept your proposition, and will enhance the terms with a nice hot shower." She chuckled as her husband's eyebrows danced suggestively. "Alone." She leaned forward, transferring the baby into her father's waiting arms, and braced herself on his shoulders to stand slowly.

"Can I at least watch?"

Kate shook her head in amusement and strode towards the master bedroom. As she reached the threshold, she grinned and looked back over her shoulder. "Hey Castle. Just so you know, you are maddeningly hot when you're holding her. Insanely, maddeningly, hot. In four weeks, when we get the all clear, you better watch out. You're not going to know what hit you."

Rick swallowed, uncomfortably, his eyes wide with shock. Kate simply smirked, spun on her toes and disappeared behind the bedroom door.

Lily grunted, the sound of newborn discomfort, in his arms, and Rick looked down at his youngest daughter. "Me too baby. Times a hundred."


	15. This is Life

"Who has the yummiest belly in the whole world?" The baby let out a squeal of delight and grabbed a fistful of her mother's hair, as Kate blew a loud raspberry into the girl's milk rounded belly. Lily belted out a fantastic baby laugh, and Kate laughed with her as she eased her long strands out of her daughter's fists. "Mommy's going to get your tummy." She moved in for another raspberry, from her place on the floor, kneeling over the baby's diapered body. Lily chortled with laughter again, and Kate joined her, delighted with their game.

"No fair," Castle groaned, emerging from his office, grinning at his wife and child. "You ladies sound like you're having so much fun without me, and I'm stuck in there all by myself."

Lily squealed, seeing her father, and Kate sat back on the floor, crossing her legs in front of her. "You're supposed to be writing, that's why you're in there all by yourself. Besides, it's Mommy time, isn't it Tiger Lily," her voice grew silly as she turned her attention back to the baby, tickling her naked belly and drawing out another giggle. "Mommy misses you so much when I'm at work, but we have so much fun when I get home, don't we sweet girl?"

The baby, delighted to be spoken to, pursed her lips, and made noises, the simple attempts of a six-month-old to converse with her parents.

"Is that right?" Castle gasped, dropping to the floor beside his family. "That's amazing." Lily flailed her arms and legs in utter happiness. Kate laughed and leaned forward to nibble the baby's belly once again. The sound of a key in the lock drew their attention to the front door, and Kate rose quickly, holding her hand out to help her husband up.

"Sounds like a party in here," Alexis entered, a forced grin on her pale face. "I'm not interrupting anything, am I?"

"Never," Rick launched himself at his daughter's slight frame, enveloping her in an enthusiastic hug. "I was ready to file a missing person report for my long-lost daughter. We haven't seen enough of you the past few months."

Alexis huffed a laugh and rolled her eyes at her father's dramatics. Kate playfully nudged him out of the way and dragged her step-daughter into a warm embrace of her own.

"Ignore him. We have missed you though. You're in high demand these days." The older woman raised an eyebrow suggestively, moving towards the living room, where the baby had rolled over and pulled herself to her hands and knees, rocking back and forth happily.

"Oh my God, Lily, look at you!" Alexis gasped playfully and moved towards her baby sister. "You're such a big girl now."

Lily babbled happily and flopped to her belly on her play mat, as Alexis dropped to the floor beside her, reaching for the baby's hand.

Kate could see the young woman was troubled, and she cast a questioning gaze to her husband, who simply shrugged.

"How's work, sweetheart?" Hayley tells me you two are in pretty high demand.

"Work's good," Alexis stared blankly at her baby sister, her finger, the newest victim to the baby's gumming. "I aced my post-grad finals. I'm on track to finish next summer, have my Criminalist and Forensics Degrees, but…"

Kate leaned forward, bracing her elbows on her knees, and shot Rick another look. He unconsciously mimicked her pose, and frowned slightly, troubled by his daughter's mood.

"Is everything alright, Pumpkin? Did something happen with that boy you told us about?"

"Boy," Alexis muttered, rolling her eyes.

"Sam is one of my Uniforms, Castle. He's hardly a boy, and he's a great cop. He's got potential to fast track to detective."

"Sam?" Castle sat up, his frown deepening. "Why do I not know any of this?"

"We've all been a little preoccupied, Dad," Alexis shifted, uncomfortably. "You guys are busy with the baby, and Sam and I spend what little time we have off together, well, together."

"We're never too busy for you, Alexis," Kate reached for the young woman's hand. "You're a part of this family, and I'm so sorry if we've made you feel like you're not wanted here."

"No, no," Alexis squeezed her step-mother's hand, and smiled softly. "It's not that at all, I promise. It's just, life, you know?"

Kate's smile dropped as the red-head's attention once again focussed blankly on the baby.

"Is there something else going on, Alexis. We can help you with anything, you just have to…"

"I'm pregnant," the young woman blurted out, her cheeks brightening with embarrassment, and she hung her head.

Kate exhaled a deep breath and cast a quick gaze to her husband, his mouth open, wide in shock, as he stared, unblinking at his oldest daughter.

"Well," Beckett finally managed to get out. She watched Alexis quickly brush away a tear and she slid to the floor beside her step-daughter. "Hey, now." Pulling her into a rough embrace, she rocked Alexis gently, as the girl began to sob.

"I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I don't know how this happened. We were so careful. It just…"

"Alexis, honey," Kate soothed, running her hands through the fiery locks against her cheek. "It's going to be okay. I promise."

A strangled noise emerged from the couch, where Castle's mouth opened and closed wordlessly, seemingly attempting to speak. She shot him a murderous glare, daring him to say something disapproving, and he shrank back under her maternal rage.

"Does Sam know?" the girl's surrogate mother questioned, softly, continuing to rock her slowly against her chest. Alexis nodded wordlessly, and raised her head from Kate's shoulder. Beckett wiped the tears from her cheeks and the redhead smiled gratefully.

"He knows. He's happy." She cast a frightened glance at her father, who still sat silently on the couch. "I know this wasn't part of the plan, but Sam and I are solid. We can make it work."

Kate smiled reassuringly, and the baby beside them let out a squawk of indignation at being ignored. Her mother brought her to her chest briefly, kissing her dark hair before thrusting her towards her father. "Castle."

He emerged from his stupor, long enough to grab the baby, and he brought her to his chest, burying his face against Lily's tiny head.

Alexis looked pained, but Kate drew her attention back, with a calm hand against her back. "Do you have a plan?"

"Sam's going to move in with me, officially, anyway," her cheeks brightened once again with the admission, but no one responded. "We can put the baby in the second bedroom, or we can turn your old office into a nursery," she smiled at Kate. The lighting is amazing in there."

Kate smiled back, reassuringly, nodding her head in agreement.

"I've made an appointment with the registrar at Columbia to find out about fast tracking my Post Grad degree. I could be done in six months, if I arrange my classes right, and then I'll be finished school before the baby is born. She once again glanced at her father, who was slowly emerging from his trance and had focussed on her face, still silent.

"I'll stick to desk work at the PI's office, and look into interning with the NYPD or the FBI field office in New York in a year or so, that was the original plan and it doesn't have to change. Hayley can handle the field work, and if we need to hire another PI, we can do that. The company is solid, we're turning profits and we can afford to expand the team."

"We can do this, Dad," she shifted towards her father. "Sam and I love each other, and we can do this."

Castle cleared his throat, and blinked back his tears. His words still didn't come.

"I'm sorry Daddy. I'm sorry that I disappointed you, but I love him, and he loves me, and we both love this baby so much already. Just please, please say something."

Castle lurched from the couch, depositing a startled Lily into Kate's arms, before hauling his first-born daughter into his arms. "Oh Alexis. Oh, Baby." He rocked her gently in his arms, tightening his hold on her as she sobbed into her father's shoulder. Kate's heart broke at the sight, and she drew her thumb across his eye, wiping away a stray tear.

She mouthed her love, and kissed the baby's head, and her husband smiled gratefully.

"I'm not disappointed in you Alexis," he finally spoke. "I'm shocked, and a little hurt that I don't know more about this man you love enough to have a child with, and I'm finally realizing that you're all grown up. It's time to let you go, and I'm not ready." His voice broke, and he squeezed her hard.

"Daddy," the young woman sobbed, more like a child than Kate had ever seen her.

"I'm not going to say that I'm not shocked, or not wishing this was happening at a later point in your life, but I know you, Alexis Harper. I know that when you put your mind to something, you go at it full steam, and you get it done brilliantly." He kissed her head.

"You've got a good head on your shoulders, and you've never let yourself be fooled by anything less than the real thing. If you say that you and this, Sam, can do this. I believe you. I believe in you."

"Thank you, Daddy," his daughter whispered, slowly pulling away from his embrace. She looked between her father and step-mother, clustered around her on the living room floor, and she reached for the baby's hand, once again. "You two have showed me what it means to be a family. To be partners, and if I believe I can create my own family, strong and together, it's only because you taught me how."

Kate clutched Lily tighter to her chest and gasped out a quiet sob. Drawing her hand to the younger woman's cheek, she caressed her tenderly. Alexis leaned out of her father's embrace, into Kate's, sandwiching her baby sister between the two women. "I love you, Kate."

Lily yowled angrily, at the intrusion, and Beckett released a watery chuckle. "I love you too, sweetheart. So very much."

"You too Munchkin," her sister leaned towards the baby. "I love my baby sister."

A brief flash of fists, found tiny fingers tangled in the bright red locks, and mother and daughter both laughed at the baby's glee. Castle untangled his daughters, and bopped the baby's nose with a playful finger.

"You and the hair, Tiger Lily. You're a menace." Lily chuckled as though she'd been let in on a joke, and thrashed happily.

Rising from the floor, the redhead reached for the dark-haired infant and cuddled her close. Kate drew herself up and smiled as Alexis moved towards the kitchen, playfully seeking her sister's opinion on pizza or Italian. Turning back towards the floor, where her husband sat still, she gave him a sympathetic smile.

"You okay, Babe?"

He reached for her outstretched hand and groaned as he got to his feet. "No, but I will be. God, I feel old."

Leaning in, she pulled his earlobe between her teeth and wrapped her arms around his chest. "Why don't we put the baby to bed early and I'll make you feel young again?"

Shuddering with exaggerated arousal, he drew a happy giggle from his wife. "If anyone could, it's you Kate Beckett."

"Don't you forget it, mister." She stroked her finger seductively down the bridge of his nose, and winked as she turned away. Lily shrieked from the kitchen, and Kate huffed out a laugh, making her way towards the noise. "Come on Grandpa. The natives are getting restless."

He jerked to a halt, his jaw dropping as his eyes grew wide. He squeaked out a decidedly unmanly sound and stared ahead in quiet desperation.

"Oh God. Grandpa?"

Kate rolled her eyes, and laughed as walked away.


	16. Toddler Taming

She was packing up at the end of the day when she heard the commotion in the bullpen. The pounding footsteps of someone in a hurry, accompanied by the unhappy squealing of a small child. Kate stood from her chair, and kicked the bottom drawer of her desk closed with her foot, peering out her office window to assess the situation. The uniformed officer juggled bags over a shoulder as he wrestled the little redhead in his arms; determined and fiercely angry that she couldn't escape her father's grasp. Kate smiled wryly, as the young man came to a stop in her office door.

"Evening officer. Problems?"

The toddler's shouts ceased instantly, and she grinned, bouncing, and reaching her arms out in Kate's direction. "Gamma. Gamma."

Kate grinned back, and the officer huffed in exasperation, releasing the little girl. "I'm so sorry Captain Beckett. Em's doctor's appointment ran late, Alexis is stuck downtown, and I didn't have time to drop her off at the loft, and I know it's short notice, but I was hoping…"

"Stand down, officer," Kate winked, smacking kisses over the girl's windburned cheeks. "You want to come home with Grandma, Emmy Lou? Play with Lily and Grandpa?"

"Yee yee," she squealed, clapping her hands again, and Kate barked out a laugh at her granddaughter's joy. Their situation was, out of the ordinary, and some mornings it struck Kate how strange it was, not only to have a granddaughter at 39, but for her daughter to be a mere 14 months older than her own niece. Of course, she and Castle were never known for doing things the typical way, and Kate Beckett was just as in love with the fiery creature in her arms as she was with her own child. Children, really, she supposed. Since Alexis had gotten pregnant, step-mother and step-daughter had forged a relationship deeper than Kate had ever expected.

Beckett had desperately wanted her mother, through every stage of her first pregnancy, so it shouldn't have surprised her that Alexis had clung so desperately to the only mother she really knew. She had called the older woman frequently, just to talk, showed up at the loft with ice cream when she was hormonal and weepy, and curled into Kate's side like a little girl when she was feeling lost and uncertain. Their relationship shift had gone as an unspoken dynamic, but Kate had held Alexis's hand through her intense labour, and cried along with the young woman when Emerson Mae's first cries rang out through the room. Alexis was, for all intents and purposes, as much her child now, as Lily was.

"Thanks, so much Kate. My shift starts in a few minutes, but Alexis will call when she's on her way."

She waved a hand dismissively, and kissed the little girl's wavy red hair. "Don't even worry about it, Sam. Emmy's under control, aren't you little firecracker?"

"Cacko?"

"You want a cracker? Grandma's got some in my bag, you can have them in the car."

Sam leaned forward and smacked a kiss to his daughter's forehead. "Okay baby girl, be good for Grandma and Grandpa, and have fun with Lily. I love you."

Emerson held up a chubby hand and waved to the young man as he waved back, hesitantly.

"Say, bye daddy. We'll be just fine, won't we, baby?"

"Buh-bye. Yuv you."

Kate laughed and kissed her granddaughter once more, before noisily plopping the toddler onto the couch, and tossing her purse and diaper bag across one shoulder. Briefcase slung over an outstretched arm, Emerson bounced back into Kate's arms, and giggled at the lips in the crease of her neck.

"See Yee-yee."

"We're going to see Lily right now, I promise. We'll have some supper, and a bubble bath and get you all nice and clean for your Mommy." She flicked out the lights and pulled her door closed behind her, waving a quick goodbye to Esposito and Ryan, arguing about the Yankees shut-out the evening before.

Emerson was thrilled with the smiles and waves from the bullpen, and Kate rolled her eyes at the apparently unbreakable Castle genes. The little girl's cheeks were pink, and her head felt warm against Kate's shoulder; probably a side effect from her vaccinations, and she made a mental note to call Sam when she got home, to see if Emmy had been given any medication. She appeared fine, a little sleepy, and though she was happy enough now, she had been cranky earlier, so there was no telling how she'd react later. Either she and her 3-year-old aunt would get along wonderfully, or there would be a great deal of toddler angst in the Castle household tonight.

She hummed some made up tune, and bounced the 18-month-old gently, as she strode towards her car in the precinct garage. She and Rick each had a car-seat, primarily for Lily, but in the event, that both girls were with them, they could be moved around to a single car, and with a small belt adjustment, Emerson could be put in the spare. The toddler was slack in her arms, and drooling on her Armani jacket, and Kate's heart burst with warmth at the sight of the tiny little face, as she eased her into the seat. She buckled her in quickly, and stroked a rogue strand of fiery hair from her forehead.

Emerson startled at the sudden blare of the cellphone in the quiet of the garage, but Kate stifled it quickly, dropping the bags on the seat and withdrawing the device from her pocket.

"Hey, Babe."

"You on your way home, yet?"

"Aw, so sweet of you to ask about my day. I missed you too." She teased, popping the trunk, and sliding the bags from her shoulder.

"Sorry," he sighed. "Lily's been a monster today and she's just declared that she is not speaking to me until Mommy gets home."

Kate laughed, sympathetically, their daughter had many moods, and was smack in the middle of threenager territory.

"Uh-oh. What'd you do now? Unpeel her banana the wrong way? Three wipes instead of four?" Sliding into the front seat, she locked the doors and eased her way towards the exit.

"Wrong and wrong. I put the pink plate on the table for dinner. Apparently, she wanted yellow, and pink is too gauche to be tolerated by her majesty today. I have to learn to read non-verbal social cues better, I suppose. Maybe get her to send out memos to let me know what the fads and trends are every day."

"Rookie mistake. One I, have made, many a time. But yes, I am on my way home. I picked up a hitch-hiker too."

"Really? Friend or foe?"

"Could go either way, tonight. Vaccination day at the Travis household, and the kids got stuck. Sam dropped her off at my office door a few minutes ago and she's currently sacked out in the back seat."

"Aw. Poor monkey. I'll tell Lil, maybe I'll get back in her favour if I tell her she's having a play-date."

"Go for it. I'll be home in 20, if traffic co-operates. Do you have dinner planned or are we ordering in tonight?"

"Mac-and-cheese is on the menu, as per her majesty's orders."

"Sounds good. Tell mini-Martha to smile. Mommy doesn't want a grumpy girl when I get home."

"Will do. See you in a bit."

"Love you."

"Love you too. Drive safe."

Kate grinned, and tossed the phone onto the seat beside her, glancing occasionally in the rear-view mirror to check on her sleeping granddaughter. Her phone rang once more, and she sighed as she picked it up, hoping she wasn't being summoned back to the precinct. Alexis's face flashed across the screen and she swiped it on quickly.

"Hey sweetheart."

"Hey Kate. Please tell me you have Emmy?"

She laughed and checked the rear-view again. "I do. She's sleeping now, and we've got it all under control."

Alexis released a deep breath. "Thank God. I was supposed to meet Sam at the doctor for the hand-off, but we had six bodies come in to be processed and I got stuck here. He left me a message, but he never told me what he was doing with Emmy."

"She's fine and on her way home with me. Your dad made mac-and-cheese and the girls are both expecting a play-date."

"Awesome," Alexis sighed again. "Thank you so much."

"We love having her. No thanks needed."

"Do you and Dad have plans tonight? I need to get groceries before I head home, but I can pick Em up first."

"Go ahead and run your errands, sweetheart. Your dad and I will get the girls fed and bathed and let them play for a bit. We'll keep a plate warm for you."

"You're a lifesaver. Thanks again, Kate. I won't be long."

"Take your time, Alexis. It's no rush."

"Okay. Love you. Give Emmy kisses for me."

"I will, honey. See you soon."

When Kate looked in the rear-view mirror, Emerson's blue eyes were staring back at her, from the mirror on the back seat.

"Mama?"

"Yeah, that was mama, wasn't it?"

"No home?"

"Not yet, munchkin. Mommy will take you home later. You're coming with Grandma tonight."

Emerson, satisfied that her playdate was continuing, gazed out the window, and hummed to herself. The little girl was Alexis in every way possible. Easy going, and generally very light and happy, she inherited her mother's personality, as well as most of her physical features as well. Rick had all but melted when he saw the baby for the first time, and when he was in the mood to irritate his daughter, he referred to his granddaughter as Alexis 2.0.

With thoughts of her family, she turned into the parking garage of their building, and eased effortlessly into her spot. Turning to reach behind her, she unclipped the buckles of the car seat, and let Emerson clamor out on her own. She made faces at the little girl, through the windows, as she retrieved the bags from the trunk, and opened the door. The slam of the door to the building caught her attention, and she instantly put up her guard, her eyes darting around for the potential dangers. She heard a giggle, and the sound of Castle's voice, and she released the tension in her shoulders, finally pulling Emerson from the car.

It had been years since she and Rick had been shot in this very building, and though she was mostly unaffected by it, the trauma still hovered in her mind. It occasionally left her very on edge, and she often jumped at the slightest unexpected noise. Especially since Lily had been born. She shook the thoughts of danger from her head, and grinned as her husband approached the car.

"Someone couldn't wait upstairs," he winked, and leaned over to smack a kiss on her cheek.

"So, you dragged her down here with you?" Kate grinned back. "Don't try to play me, Mr. Castle. I've known you far too long."

"You got me," he sighed. "Where's my little monkey?"

Emerson giggled from Kate's arms and launched herself in Rick's direction. "Gampa. Pay. Yee yee."

"Absolutely," he smacked kisses over her face, reveling in her squeals of delight.

"Hi sweet girl," Kate reached for her own daughter, hauling her up into her arms, and drawing her close. She inhaled the baby sweet scent of her shampoo and hugged her tightly. "Did you have a good day with Daddy?"

"Uh huh," Lily sighed, content to be in her mother's arms at last. "We watched ponies and made sparkly Play-Doh."

"Wow. Sparkly? I bet it's beautiful."

"I made purpoh for you Mommy. Cause it's your fav-rit."

"It is my favorite," Kate grinned and kissed her little girl, dropping her to the floor and reaching for her hand, as she followed her husband into the building. "Thank you, baby. Maybe you could make me something to put on my desk with my sparkly purple dough."

"Yee yee, doh?" Emerson called back, peering over Castle's shoulder. "Pay doh."

"I have no idea what you are saying, but you're so cute when you're saying it," Castle cooed playfully, ticking the toddler's belly.

Kate rolled her eyes, and stepped into the elevator, shoving one of the bags towards her husband. "You and Lily can play with the dough inside."

"We can play before supper?" her daughter looked up through her dark bangs, and Kate smiled before brushing them out of her eyes.

"You need a hair cut Tiger Lily, and yes, you can play while Daddy and I get supper ready."

Emerson tipped out of Castle's grasp and he set her down on the floor beside the older girl. Lily reached out and immediately took Emerson's small hand in her own, silent, and demanding. They argued, as all toddlers do, but Lily was fiercely protective of the littler girl, and she voiced her frequent displeasure with her older sister, when Alexis enforced rules for Emerson. It was difficult not to be amused by the spat between sisters when there was such an age difference between them.

"Yee yee have boo doh?"

"Uh huh. And lellow and pink and green."

Kate turned to her husband and grinned, sliding her hand into his as the doors slid open and the girls tore down the hall, still hand in hand.

"Can we eat early? I'm starving."

"I figured. Ryan said you didn't leave your office all day."

"I'm still not sure if I find it creepy or endearing that you call to check up on me with the boys."

"It's endearing. It makes you want me."

Kate laughed and shoved his shoulder gently. "Whatever you say, writer man."

Castle grinned and took Kate's bags, letting her slip to the office to lock her gun away.

Lily and Emerson were deep in a conversation of sorts about ponies and glitter, and he let the noise surround him, as Rick worked on dinner. Kate emerged a few minutes later, in yoga pants and a long- sleeved tee shirt, her hair bunched messily on top of her head, and her feet bare. He loved how she could transform herself so completely in the space of a few moments. She stopped in the threshold of the living room when the girls drew her into their story, and he could vaguely hear her mirthful words as she engaged. Just home from work Kate was his favourite. She was so fresh and free, despite her exhaustion and the events of her day, she was always so happy to be back in the arms of her family.

"Keep daydreaming and you'll ruin dinner."

Castle snapped from his thoughts to find his wife standing before him, amused, as she plucked a cherry tomato from the plate in front of him.

"I apologize for nothing," he grinned back. "Inspired by my muse."

"Uh huh," Kate rolled her eyes. "I'm inspired by food. On my plate. In front of me. So I can eat it."

"Point taken. Jeez, woman. You do know where your daughter gets her attitude from, don't you?" He raised an eyebrow over his shoulder, and continued his dinner prep.

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. She's a chip off the old block. Like mother, like daughter."

"Your range of clichés is impressive, as always, but we both know which one of us is the bad cop in this parental unit, Mr. ice cream for breakfast sounds like such a good idea."

"Hey, ice cream for breakfast is always a good idea. Especially when it's on waffles."

"Uh-huh. She gives you hell for putting out a pink plate because you bought her an entire rainbow of her very own dishes. She wants a green plate, all she has to do is stick out her little lips and daddy gives her a swatch to figure out which shade of green she would like the best."

She tried to look stern, but as much as she tried to complain, she had to admit that she adored the way Castle doted on his baby girl. It made them all happy, and Kate was a balancing enough force, that Lily would remain fairly level headed as she got older.

Castle sighed, and slung a dish towel over his shoulder, nudging her back until her hips met the counter. "I surrender. I am a grade A sucker when it comes to beautiful brunettes. Especially ones who call me Daddy."

Kate grinned and set her palms on her husband's broad chest. "I know, Babe. And I love you for it."

Rick leaned down and kissed her softly, glad for a quiet moment. They were hard to find these days, with the house almost always in some sort of chaos. He almost chuckled when the screaming started, the universe intervening yet again. Kate sighed, sharing his unspoken thought, and nudged him away to deal with the kids.

"What's going on ladies? We don't need to yell."

"Yee yee say no," Emerson waddled towards her grandmother, a scowl on her pale face. "I make boo duck. Yee yee say duck no boo."

Kate bit back a smile and hoisted the angry toddler onto her hip.

"Lily James, are you being a bossy pants?"

Lily turned to her mother, a scowl of her own crossing her face.

"She was going to color my ducky pit-cher blue, Mommy. Ducks aren't blue, they're lellow. My ducky pit-cher is a real ducky, not a blue one."

Kate tried not to groan, no one told her being a parent was more like being a referee, and she knelt before her daughter, setting Emerson on the floor beside her.

"I understand that you are frustrated, Lil. But just because you think something can only be right one way, doesn't mean that it's right for everyone. Do you like yellow ducks?"

Lily lost the scowl and nodded petulantly.

"Did you know that real ducks aren't always yellow?"

Her eyes widened. "They not?"

"Nope, they're not. Some are dark, and some have a pretty, green stripe on their neck, but they are only yellow when they're tiny baby ducks. Someone just liked the idea of yellow ducks so much that they decided to make them yellow in pictures and stories, and it stuck. Does that make you want to color your ducky a different color?"

The dark-haired child shook her head. "I only like lellow ducks."

"I understand that, Tiger-Lily. But Emerson likes blue ducks. Do you think maybe we could compromise and let Emerson color a blue duck of her own, and you can make all yours yellow? We could cut a page out of your coloring book and let Emmy take it home, if you don't want any blue ducks in your book."

Lily looked doubtful for a moment, but she shot a look towards the smaller girl, thumb stuck in her mouth as she clung to Kate's shirt.

"I guess that's okay, Mommy."

Kate tugged her daughter in close and kissed the top of her head. "Thank you so much for being such a big girl, sweetheart. Can you say thank you to Lily, Em?"

"Ta-too."

"Good enough. Dinner will be ready…"

"Now. Mac-and-cheese, ladies."

Lily and Emerson shrieked and bolted towards the table, Emmy clapping happily as Lily pulled out one of the booster seats for her niece.

"Nicely done, wife. You'd make an excellent hostage negotiator. Mad skills."

A perfectly manicured eyebrow lifted in response. "Those aren't the only skills I have, Mr. Castle. Play your cards right and I may give you a private demonstration later."

He swallowed, tamping down on the arousal she brought to the surface with that husky voice she knew got him every time.

"Um, yes please."

"Good boy. Now, the quicker we get these two fed, bathed and ready for bed, the better your chances are. So, let's get a move on, shall we."

Castle smirked and moved towards the table. "I told you Beckett, I'm a sucker for a brunette."

She rolled her eyes and moved to follow him. "Noted. But there's no way in Hell I'm calling you Daddy."


	17. Breakfast of Champions

_Slightly on the M Rated side, though not by much. Just a warning. ;) Thank you again for your beautiful comments. I am so grateful to all of you for your encouragement and your kindness. I write because I love to, and these characters make it easy, but it makes me happy that so many of you love the continuation of their story._

* * *

His breath on the back of her neck, tugged her from the wonderfully dirty dream she had been in the middle of, and had his hands not been catching up with 'dream Rick', she would have been annoyed. Her breath caught when his tongue found the spot behind her ear that gave her goosebumps, and she pushed back until their bodies were flush.

"That sounded like a really, good dream, Beckett."

The deep timbre of his voice made her shudder, and the tip of his tongue flicking her earlobe dragged the moan from her body.

"You were making all kinds of delicious noises, and I was a little hurt that I wasn't invited to the party."

Kate's breath came in short, panting breaths, and she tried to steady herself, he would be insufferable for the rest of the day, if he took her apart before he even hit third base.

"Who says you weren't invited?" she rasped, her voice husky with sleep and arousal. "You were right in the middle of the action, before I was so rudely awakened."

"Oh yeah? What kind of action? Was it this kind?"

His hand slid up the sleep shirt, rucked up around her waist, and she groaned as his warm fingertips slid across the flat plane of her abdomen.

"A lady doesn't kiss and tell."

She jerked as his broad hand palmed her breast, and she slid an arm up behind her to cup his head.

"What time is it? The sun's already up."

"I don't really care right now, do you?" He slid his hand seductively down her thigh, before removing it completely, and she whimpered at the loss. God, either that dream had her right on the edge of a really happy-ending, or she was just obscenely easy this morning. Rick was good, but he usually had to work a little harder than a few, hardly X rated, maneuvers. She felt him pull away slightly, the hard edges and planes of his body no longer pressed so deliciously against her back, but he was back before she could comment, the smooth cotton of his pajama pants no longer a barrier between their skin.

His hand slid to her thigh again, and he pulled her back, the primal connection of their bodies making her gasp.

"Don't care. I don't care. Just..."

He moved slowly, teasing, his hands glancing over her skin like butterfly wings.

"Just what, Kate? Huh?" His voice was steady and strong, how the man could take so much control with so little effort was beyond her comprehension.

"The kids. Oh God," she turned her face into her pillow, and directed the movement of her husband's hands under her own. "The kids will be up soon."

As if the simple mention could summon them awake, Rick heard the thump of feet on the stairs and he dropped his head forward in frustration.

"You had to go and jinx it, didn't you?"

"Richard Castle, if you stop now I swear to God no one will ever find your body."

He chuckled and surged forward, reveling in the moan she buried in the down of her pillow.

"Quiet, Beckett." His control was back in place and that maddeningly sexy voice was doing fantastic things, along with the renewed motivation of his hands. "If they think we're awake, they'll come in here. You're going to have to be quiet, and we'll go nice and slow."

"No time for slow. God, you need to hurry up." If she had any sense of pride, the desperation in her voice would have mortified her, but Kate Beckett under Rick Castle's power, was shameless.

"Too fast and they'll hear. They'll come to find us, and I'll have to stop. You don't want me to stop, do you Kate?"

Her teeth clenched tightly, trying desperately to stifle the sounds he dragged from her body.

"Less talk, more action."

"I thought you liked it when I talked," he flicked his tongue to her earlobe once more. "No matter. I can say just as much with my hands, can't I, Kate?"

Oh God, she was going to kill him anyway. He was reducing her to a boneless puddle and he didn't even seem to be breaking a sweat. If they had more time, she would have made him pay for it, but she could hear the clank of silverware in bowls and the muted stage whispers from the boys as Lily poured their cereal.

"Come on Castle, hurry. You can play later, just please, hurry."

"Okay baby," he rumbled, throatily in her ear. "No more fooling around."

He gripped her leg tightly in his hand and increased his delicious assault on her body. She felt him everywhere and she pulled the pillow forward and held it to her face. The sounds of his pleasure, his quickening breaths were the final pull her body needed, and she dug her nails into his hip, behind her, as she broke apart, teeth clamped down on her lip. He tensed and followed her, his own groans buried in her hair and the crook of her neck.

"Oh my God," Kate panted. "I have no idea what got into you this morning, but I thoroughly enjoyed it, and I highly recommend getting into it again sometime."

Castle chuckled and rolled to his back. "I'll keep that in mind. Although it's entirely your fault for having sexy dreams out loud."

Kate huffed out a laugh and dropped to her back beside him. "I promise nothing. You do dirty things to me even when I'm sleeping. Keeping in mind that anything said in afterglow is not admissible in court, you're really very good at that."

He barked out a laugh before clamping a hand over his mouth, but it was too late. The spoon hit the side of bowl and a chair scraped across the floor as whichever one of their children abandoned breakfast to descend upon them. Kate dragged her shirt down over her body, and yanked the covers up quickly, attempting to preserve some sense of modesty, just as the door flew open and the boys spilled in.

"Daddy, Mommy, it's morning," Reese giggled, launching himself on their bed and bouncing happily, five- year-old energy brimming.

Castle groaned and dragged a hand down his face, as Jake joined his brother on the bed, crawling towards their mother. Kate laughed and tugged them both into her chest, smacking kisses on both dark heads.

"Good morning guys. Is your breakfast already on the table?"

Lily appeared in the doorway, her quiet smile, the only greeting.

"Hey my beautiful girl," Kate sighed. "Thank you for getting your brothers their cereal."

Jake darted off the bed quickly, cackling with some devious plan or another. "I'm going to be finished first, Reesey. You're a slowpoke."

"Hey," incensed Reese somersaulted towards the floor, trailing his brother. "No fair."

Castle chuckled and shook his head. "I have no clue where they find the energy this early in the morning, but I think we should put up cameras to make sure they're not hitting the coffee."

"Daddy," Lily rolled her eyes and turned towards the outer hall. "They don't even like carrots, and coffee is way more gross than that."

Castle gasped, bringing his hand to his mouth, playfully. "You take that back. You're going to hurt your mother's feelings."

Kate shook her hand and smacked his shoulder gently, before sliding her legs off the side of the bed, ready to rise.

"You're such a goof, Daddy." Lily rolled her eyes again, and grinned as she walked away.

"You love it," Rick shouted after her, drawing a chuckle from his wife.

She moved towards the closet, and her clothes, before turning back quickly and dropping back to the bed on hands and knees. She crawled forward and kissed him thoroughly, morning breath be damned.

"Thanks for making my dreams come true."

"The pleasure was all mine, I assure you." He waggled his eyebrows and she scooted backwards to prepare for the day.

The lights on the monitor at his bedside flashed sharply, and he groaned again as a little voice echoed through the machine.

"Daaaadeeee. Daaaaaadeeee."

Kate stuck her head out the closet door, smirking in his direction.

"Up and att-em, kitten. Your adoring public awaits."

"Evil woman," he grumbled, his urgency waning as he heard the boys' voices enter their little sister's room.

"Hi Poppy pie," one voice cooed. "Climb the side and Jakey and I will catch you."

"Seriously?" Kate shouted from the closet, emerging half dressed, wrestling with buttons at her wrist. "They did not just tell the baby how to climb out of the crib."

"No way," Poppy's giggly voice chimed out. "Daddy comin."

Castle beamed in his wife's direction.

"My princess cannot be corrupted by the terrible twosome."

"Uh huh," Kate rolled her eyes. "Let's see how long that lasts. You better get up there before her resolve is tested. Something tells me she'll cave pretty quickly."

"Just like her mother, you mean?" He waggled his eyebrows and dodged the towel she threw in his direction, laughing.

"Daaaadeeeee."

"I'm coming, I'm coming," he grumbled, dragging his feet around the floor in a lazy search for his pajama pants.

The giggles continued as the boys entertained their sister, waiting for their father to arrive and release her from her crib.

"Daddy sooooo long."

"It's 'cause Mommy keeps stealing his jammies. He's got no pants and he's bare naked."

"Why does Mommy need Daddy's pants? They're too big, they'd just fall off and then they'd both be bare naked."

"I dislike the direction this conversation is heading," Kate called out from the bathroom, her voice muffled by the toothbrush in her mouth.

"I don't know, I kind of want to see how it plays out," Castle grinned back, ignoring her eye roll.

Kate spit, and rinsed quickly.

"Never mind, weirdo. I'll get her." Kate strode past him through the door.

"Boy pants are made for boy parts anyway," she heard behind her, through the monitor, now in her husband's hand.

"Okay, that's enough," she shouted, her pace increasing as she scowled over at her husband and raced up the stairs. "Mommy's coming, for the love of God, stop talking."


	18. Hello World

"Rick."

Nikki turned towards him and raised her eyebrows expectantly. That was weird. His characters didn't usually engage him when he was this deep into imagining a scene. Way too meta when writers inserted themselves into their own stories.

"Rick."

Jameson Rook looked almost as annoyed as he felt, the sudden track of his plotline, halted suddenly.

"Castle."

This time she poked at him. Snapping out of his late-night flash of inspiration, Castle shook his head, and turned to where his wife stood beside him, looking only partially disgruntled at having to try so hard for his attention when he was neck deep in Nikki Heat's life.

"Sorry," he muttered, abashedly. "Writing. I wanted to get the last few chapters done before the baby comes."

"Yeah. I'm sorry to interrupt, but I kind of have a situation, here."

He shook the last of the fog from his head, and looked over his wife. She wore rumpled pajamas, his shirt and an old pair of boxer shorts; her nightwear hadn't fit for the past few months. He vaguely remembered her coming home from work, telling him she was having a bath and crashing for the night, but it must have been a while ago if she was as sleep rumpled as she appeared to be.

"How long have I been in here?"

"Not sure," Kate grumbled. "You were writing when I got home. I haven't been feeling great today, so I made sure you were fed and watered and crashed. It's 11:30 right now."

"That would explain why I need to pee so badly," he grinned, sheepishly. "You feeling better now?"

"That's kind of what I came in here for."

She looked queasy and pale, a thin sheen of sweat covered her face, and she had her hands braced behind her on her lower back.

He stood up from his chair and pulled her into his chest. "I'm sorry, sweetheart. I'm an ass. I'm supposed to be taking care of you and I flake out when you need me. Do you want me to grab you some crackers and water, and rub your back?"

"You have no idea how much I would love that right now, but I think you should probably just go put some pants on."

A grimace crossed her features and she slid a hand around to cover the mound of her belly, with a sharp intake of breath.

"Kate…" he drew in slowly. "What's going on?"

"Your offspring is…I don't even know. I can't come up with anything witty right now. I think one of us forgot to tell her that she's not actually supposed to come for two more days."

Rick Castle choked and dropped into the chair behind him.

"You're in labour? Kate, you can't be in labour. You're not even due for another two weeks, and the c-section isn't until Sunday morning."

"Thanks for the newsflash, Rick," she grumbled again, and dug her thumbs into her back. "I'll just let this baby know that it's not a good time and she'll go ahead and push the stop button. Would that work for you?"

"Hey, Kate, I'm sorry, okay." He stood and pulled her into his arms. "You just surprised the hell out of me. I never even considered this as a possibility. Dr. Mott never warned us…"

"Can we just stop right there, please?" Kate pushed away from his embrace and began to pace the room, skittish and wild. "It doesn't really matter what's supposed to happen, or what we thought was going to happen or what we want to happen, because I'm kind of in labor here, and if we don't stop questioning the universe and all it's possibilities, this baby is going to be born on your office floor, and from everything Dr. Mott has told us, that would be very, very bad."

"No, you're right, sweetheart. God I'm sorry, you're right." He rushed into action then, moving around the loft on auto-pilot.

Kate's pregnancy had gone as smoothly as possible, all things considered. She had returned to work three months earlier, in time to clear her desk and work alongside the acting captain to prepare the precinct for her upcoming maternity leave. Despite the healing her body had done over the past 8 months, from the gunshot wounds that she had received mere days before learning of their baby's existence, her high-risk obstetrician was concerned about the physical repercussions of a prolonged labour. She had explained that while Kate was healthy, and strong, her abdomen had been through a great deal of trauma, and would still be in a delicate state as a result of the pregnancy hormones that would have prevented the complete return of strength and ability.

She advised against attempting labour, worried about the strain of delivery on Kate's future healing, and creating post-delivery issues that could be avoided with a scheduled caesarian delivery. It hadn't taken much for Kate to agree. She could still feel the precarious state of her injuries as the baby had grown, and put pressure on all the places that still hurt.

They had scheduled the surgery two weeks early, standard practice in elective c-sections, to prevent just this sort of thing from happening. Baby girl Castle was breaking the mold early, and if Kate hadn't been sucker punched by another deep contraction, she would have chuckled at the images that brought to life. Showing up unexpectedly was her father's forte, and this little one was nothing if not a Daddy's girl already.

As the contraction eased, her eyelids raised slowly, to her husband standing in front of her.

"You good? How often are they coming?"

"I'm not really sure," she shrugged. "My back has been aching all day and there were some twinges when I went to bed, but it just felt like the ones every other day so I didn't think about it."

He handed her a pair of sweats, and kneeled to the floor to ease her legs in, as she braced herself on his broad shoulders. When she was dressed, he kissed her forehead tenderly, and helped her into her coat.

Rick wrapped a hand around her back and slung the bags over his shoulder, guiding his wife towards the front door, stopping only to set the alarm and lock up.

"They aren't really close together, but they're strong enough to hurt like hell. I feel like I'm in my 25th straight hour of PT."

"I called Dr. Mott already. She'll meet us at the hospital, and they'll get things moving as quickly as they can. I promise this won't last long."

Kate stuttered out a sigh, and held on, as Rick helped ease her into the front seat of their car. When he climbed in beside her, his smile was brilliant.

"We're going to meet her tonight, Kate. I can't wait."

She smiled back, half-heartedly, and rubbed wide circles over the girth of her belly. She felt disjointed, a stranger in her own life, at this very moment, and she closed her eyes as her head flopped against the head rest behind her. Castle must have sensed her need for silence, and Kate focused on the sound of her breathing, and the November wind as it whipped past them. A contraction rippled across her belly, as Castle parked in the hospital's underground garage, and she gasped and squeezed the door handle beside her.

In a flash, he was out of the car, wrenching the door open and crouching at her side, whispering love and encouragement as he held her hand. She bore the pain silently, if she was anything but stoic and strong, she was afraid she might fall apart.

The bags were already at his side, and Rick grunted as he stood up, holding out his hands to pull her from the car. Hand in hand, still silent, they entered the sterile cavern of the Manhattan hospital and plodded towards the maternity floor, where their doctor was, hopefully, already waiting.

When the doors opened, Kate blinked at the sudden flurry of action around her. Dr. Mott was indeed waiting, and she hustled Kate towards an open door in the hallway. Beckett looked over her shoulder, needing her husband close, and he smiled reassuringly as he followed behind her.

She was gracelessly undressed, and eased into the tightly made bed. Kate heard something about anesthesia and waiting, but it was all distorted through the tinny sound in her ears; like she was listening from underwater. The flurry of action followed the medical team out of the room, and for the moment, husband and wife were left alone.

"What's going on, sweetheart? I mean, aside from the obvious." His head nodded towards her belly. "You seem…unhappy, for lack of a better word."

Kate tried to smile, for his benefit, but she couldn't make her face work. And like a tidal wave, the dam broke. She choked back a sob and covered her eyes with her hand.

"This is all so much, Rick. It's so much. I wasn't ready for this. I was supposed to have two more days, and now she's coming and it's all just hitting me now."

"Hey," he soothed, sliding a hip to the bed to hold his wife. "It's only a few days early. You're ready, Kate. You've been ready, I can see it. You told me last week that you couldn't wait to hold her, and soon you're going to get your chance. That's a good thing, isn't it?"

"That's not what I mean, Castle. Of course, I want to hold her. It's just…"

"You're afraid."

Kate nodded wordlessly, wiping a tear from her cheek with the back of her hand. "What if I'm no good at this? What if I can't be a good mom for her, and I screw her up? I want my mom so much right now, Rick, and I don't know why it feels like today is the day I finally realized she's never coming back."

Castle pulled her tighter, and set his lips atop her dark hair. He held her as she cried into his chest, rubbing her back gently, and letting her ride out the storm of her emotions. When the sobs quieted, he pulled back slightly.

"Kate, I want you to listen to me."

Tearful, red eyes lifted to meet his.

"You are already the best mother this little girl could ever hope for. You have been taking such good care of her for almost 9 months, growing her up, living your life around her needs even when it meant you were neglecting your own. You followed doctors' orders to the letter, sat in bed for months, you spent two weeks online picking out the perfect things to go in her room, and I hear the way you talk to her. She's not even born yet and she already knows how much you love her."

Kate sniffled and leaned against his chest once again.

"Sometimes you just have to have some faith and let love be enough."

A watery laugh erupted from her mouth, entirely against her will.

"You get that from a fortune cookie?"

"China Garden is surprisingly philosophical. Their dumplings make me question the meaning of life."

Beckett shook her head against his chest and pushed herself up.

"I'm sorry your mom isn't here Kate, but I know this will be amazing. Our family is already amazing, it's just going to be so much more perfect soon."

Gripping the front of his shirt, Beckett pulled him towards her, lips touching softly.

"I love you."

"I love you too. So very much."

The bustling at the door caught their attention as the scrub clad doctor and a handful of nurses entered the room. IVs and epidurals were inserted, wristbands were examined and confirmed before being slipped into a bag and attached to the chart at the end of the bed. Rick was handed a set of scrubs and all the surgical accessories and directed to get ready.

He heard Kate's inhalation at another contraction, and he hesitated beside her bed. The nurse smiled and nodded at his scrubs before reaching out to brush the hair from Kate's face.

"That's it, Kate. Breathe, just like that. It will be over soon."

Castle sighed in relief and yanked the blue material over his clothes, booties and cap joining the fray.

"Okay Rick. Kate is going into the OR now, you will wait outside for a few minutes while she's prepped and then we'll come out to get you when we're ready to go." She didn't wait for an acknowledgement before she began to roll Kate's bed toward the door.

Kate smiled tiredly, and ran a finger down his arm as she slipped past him.

"See you in there."

"Try and keep me away," he called out, feeling the nerves settle in his stomach. He was going to be a Daddy again. He never thought he would have the opportunity to relive a little life, let alone have a complete family, but in a few short moments, his wife…his WIFE, was going to bring their newborn daughter into the world, and as surreal as it felt, inevitable was the word that first came to his mind.

He grinned and sent a quick text to Alexis, who was now perched somewhere in the waiting room down the hall with the rest of their slowly approaching family. Kate's dad was there, as was Lanie, Martha and the others, moments away. He signed off with a kiss emoji as the door cracked open and a cap covered head emerged.

"You can come in now Dad. She's all ready for you."

Dad. It sounded different now. New. He couldn't even try and stop the smile, as he practically flew to Kate's side. She was smiling now, nervous, and tired, but smiling nonetheless. Her arms were stretched out on the gurney at her sides, so he stroked her face with his broad hand; leaned over and kissed her before setting down on the stool beside her head. Neither broke eye contact as the staff hustled around the room.

The briefest eternity later, a baby cried out, and Kate choked back a sob.

"Oh God. She's here. Rick, she's here."

Tears blurred his vision as he kissed her forehead and she rambled her love for their baby into the room. The doctor held the girl's tiny body up for her parents to catch their first glimpse and Kate began to cry in earnest.

"She's so beautiful. Castle. She's perfect."

Kate had always accused him of talking too much, but at this moment, words escaped him. When Kate urged him to stay with the baby, he strode to the warmer and watched as the nurses expertly wiped, tested, and administered to the tiny thing. She was declared healthy and strong, and bundled up in the warmed pink blanket, a cap stretched over her dark, matted hair.

"Here you go Dad." The baby was plopped into his arms without warning. "Why don't you go let her meet her Mommy."

Castle stared in wonder at the dark little face surrounded by pink. She had his complexion, she wasn't fair like Kate, but in all other ways, she resembled her mother. She was stunning. The baby blinked through the antibiotic on her eyelids, and flicked a little pink tongue in and out of her mouth. She was content enough now, wrapped and warm and being cuddled, as she began to take in her new surroundings.

"Rick. Give me my baby."

Kate's voice broke the spell the newborn had cast over him, and he shook his head as he moved to her bedside.

"You're not very patient, you know that? You've had her for nine months. I want a turn."

"I've also thrown up a hundred times, endured gas and heartburn, constant backaches, pain everywhere, and far too many people getting acquainted with my lady parts, for those nine months. I've earned it. Now, let me see my daughter."

He chuckled again, and the baby gaped in wonder at the sound of her father's voice, so clear in front of her.

"Hi there, sweet thing. It's very nice to see you too, but Mommy wants to meet you too. We'll talk again later, I promise. I even packed your storybook, so we can read later, while Mommy's sleeping, okay?"

Castle kissed the tiny head and settled the baby burrito across Kate's chest while the surgical team cleaned up around her.

"Hey there, my beautiful girl. I'm so happy you're finally here."

The baby stared, still stunned into silence by the sights and sounds around her. Her rosebud lips cracked on a deep yawn, and she sneezed, a tiny squeak escaping her mouth, and she startled at the sound.

"Oh my God, that was the cutest thing I have ever heard in my life," Kate grinned at him. "Bless you, baby. Did you scare yourself?"

Castle watched, his heart bursting at the sight of his wife loving on their new baby daughter. He may have been a father for twenty something years already, but this was new. He'd never experienced fatherhood like this, so joyous and together. The nurse smiled at him, knowingly, and took a corner of the bed as they guided Kate into recovery. Beckett ran her long fingers down the baby's nose, across her crusted eyebrows and over her slightly rounded cheeks. When the staff left, he sat at her side.

"So, what are we going to call this little marvel? I've got the list of choices we've narrowed it down to."

"I don't think I need it," she beamed, as she held the newborn in her arms. "Something happened last week, and I didn't really think anything of it, but it popped into my head when I heard her cry."

"That sounds ominous."

"It's not. Not at all. I was cutting across this creepy, derelict park on my way to meet Lanie for lunch. It looked like something straight out of an apocalypse movie, the whole place was crumbling. I got to the edge, where the pavement was ending, and right in the middle of a patch of asphalt, was a flower growing right up through it, like it was made of steel. It struck me how amazing that single, perfect flower was. How it made that whole awful playground, beautiful, just by being there. It was a Lily, which was weird because it's November and it was nowhere near the gardens on the edge of the park, but a seed must have blown away on the wind and just settled in that little crack of broken asphalt."

"That's deeply metaphoric, you realize that?" he remarked with a grin. "So in this scenario you are the broken asphalt that little seed grows in and makes beautiful?"

Kate grinned back, rolling her eyes.

"Some of us aren't writers, and do not see metaphors in everything, so no, I am not the asphalt. Although now that you said it, I can't unhear it."

Castle chuckled, and looked down at the baby.

"Not you then, the past few years. Broken, crumbling and messy. This little thing grew up through all of that mess and changed it; gave it new meaning."

Kate's soft smile as she gazed at her baby daughter, was answer enough.

"On a side note, the Lily is a symbol of purity, which, as the father of two daughters is a trait I could stand to have associated with my little girl."

"I looked it up that night. It said that the Lily is a sign that departed loved ones have been granted restored innocence. I like that idea."

"Lily Castle. I like it. Subtle, yet sophisticated."

"She looks like a Lily."

The baby sneezed again, and Kate sighed dreamily, stroking a finger around the dark hair.

"Lily James Castle." Rick looked up slowly as wife's jaw dropped.

"James. Castle, James is a boy's name."

"No. James is your fathers name."

Kate rolled her eyes and adjusted Lily in her arms. "That's some great detective work, Castle."

Castle didn't smile, and Kate frowned slightly at his serious expression.

"I never had a father, Kate. I never had anyone looking out for me like that, and teaching me how to be a good man. My mother taught me how to be a good person, but I didn't have a role model to show me what a good man should be. Your dad may not be perfect, he may have made mistakes, but he still shows up. Not just for you anymore, either. He calls me sometimes, just to chat, talk about the book or cars, did you know that?"

Kate shook her head and waited for Rick to continue.

"He's teaching me about baseball. I'm almost 50, and I almost have a father doing the things no one ever bothered to. He's become that for us. A father. Alexis has a grandfather for the first time in her life. He took her out to lunch last month. Just stopped in to the PI office and asked her if she'd like to go out."

"He did that?" Kate looked awestruck. "He never said anything."

"Because it's not something extra he has to do to get some reward. This is just Jim Beckett being a part of this family. And it means everything to me."

His voice broke slightly, and he cleared his throat before standing and reaching out for the baby. Kate handed her over, wordlessly, as he set himself down on the bed beside her. Lily was cradled in Rick's outer arm, and Kate settled her head on his shoulder to stare at the tiny girl.

"So, Kate. Lily James. Her name is Lily James Castle."

"Are you asking me, or telling me?" her eyebrow quirked in challenge.

"Well, I have a tiny human shield in front of me right now, so I'm going to go with telling. Unless you want me to go with asking. Am I asking? What are we talking about again?"

Kate laughed softly, and kissed her husband's cheek. "It's okay Castle. I get it. And for the record, I love that you want to name our baby after my father." He smiled and twisted awkwardly to get at her lips. She hummed into the kiss and returned her gaze to the baby when he pulled away.

"Hey Kate?"

She hummed a response, and Rick cupped Lily's dark head in the palm of his broad hand.

"Thanks for having my baby."

She laughed and wrapped her arms around the arm he rested on the bed in front of her.

"I'd say it was my pleasure, but I'm pretty sure that it wasn't, at any point, in the last nine months."

"And now?"

"Definitely now. Not so much pleasure as honor."

"Aww. That went a little farther then I was looking for, but I'm glad you think having my baby is an honor."

"Shut up," Kate nudged him, gently, laughing. "I'm honored that she's ours. That's what I meant."

"I know." Rick grinned and leaned back to wrap an arm around his wife, pulling her into his side. She reached out a gentle finger down the little button nose.

"She's real."

Castle chuckled and kissed the top of her head.

"She's only going to get more real when the crying and the spitting up and the pooping start. But I hear what you're saying."

"Hey Rick?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for our baby."

"I can definitely, with one hundred percent certainty, say that there was definitely pleasure involved."

The baby's eyes flew open with her mother's sudden laughter, and she began to wail.

"Now look what you did, Beckett. You broke the baby."

"A, that's not even funny, and B, hand her over. This is something I can definitely fix."


	19. Into the Night

_So open your eyes and see_ _  
_ _The way our horizons meet_ _  
_ _And all of the lights will lead_ _  
_ _Into the night with me_ _  
_ _And I know these scars will bleed_ _  
_ _But both of our hearts believe_ _  
_ _All of these stars will guide us home_

 _All of the Stars – Ed Sheeran_

* * *

God, he needed a shower. Rick Castle wrinkled his nose in distaste, at the feel of his body. Six hours at Black Pawn, in meeting after meeting, with money grubbing executives, perfectly polished lawyers, and the bottle of hairspray and perfume that accompanied Paula wherever she went, had left him feeling more than a little dirty. He leaned heavily against the back of the elevator, and let loose a jaw cracking yawn. A nap would be Heaven right now, too, but it was rapidly approaching the witching hour in the Castle household, and the kids were likely at peak energy levels, and nearing the hangry zone. Kate was probably pulling her hair out at that very moment trying to settle the boys before one of them got hurt, and keeping Lily from becoming sullen at the noise her brothers were producing.

Castle rolled his shoulders back, and stretched his aching neck muscles, as the elevator doors slid open. Showtime.

There was a distinct lack of screeching to be heard as he approached the entrance to the loft, which was extremely unusual. Kate always teased them when she got home at night, claiming she could hear the kids all the way in the lobby. Tonight, however, not a sound could be heard. He checked his phone briefly, for a text from Kate telling him she was taking the kids out, but his mailbox was glaringly empty. This was bad. Quiet meant trouble. Quiet meant the kids were out of control and Kate was done. Quiet meant everyone was put to bed early, or shuffled off to separate corners to fume in solitude.

Rick bolstered himself for whatever he'd face beyond the tall red door to their home, and quickly let himself in. It was dark, save for the amber glow of the fireplace, and the stove light in the kitchen. He frowned, it was much worse than he'd expected if everyone was already in bed, and the lights were out. It was only a little after 7, there was no trace of whatever had been scrounged up for dinner, and the living room was immaculate. Hoo boy, this was very, very bad.

Castle dragged a hand down his face, preparing for the worst, when he caught sight of a slip of paper on the island. Dropping his coat on the back of a chair, he picked up the note and moved to the stove light to read it.

 _Date night. Come find me._

How mysterious. His wife knew how to reel him in, that was for sure. Grinning, Rick wandered through the loft, seeking her out. She was nowhere to be found. In fact, the only trace of her scheme, was the single red rose in the centre of their bed, rested atop another note.

 _All of the lights will lead_

 _Into the night with me_

Holding the rose in his hands, his smile softened at the thought of his wife.

Kate.

He needed to get to her ten minutes ago. He slipped the note into his pocket and returned to the living room, snapping up his keys and slipping out the front door. He could feel her, waiting for him, and he all but ran to the door at the end of the hall, the roof access, where he knew she'd be.

He took the stairs two at a time, trying desperately not to gasp for breath when he reached the top. Way to go, Rick. But he shook it off at the sight of her beaming at him across the dark space. She took his breath away completely.

She sat on the ground, atop a thick blanket, cushions piled behind her, wrapped in a soft afghan. A picnic basket sat beside her, glasses of wine and flickering candles set out of the way, and gentle music playing softly amid the night time sounds of the city below.

"You found me."

"I'll always find you."

Kate blushed and lowered her head. He still got her with his words, even after all these years together.

He stared at her for a moment longer, before her presence beckoned him closer, and she shifted on the blanket to make room for him. Smiling, so beautifully in love, she leaned in and kissed him. Chaste but filled with the words she couldn't express aloud.

Pulling away, she arranged the blankets over him, to ward off the chill of autumn and the dampness of night. Handing him a glass of wine, she sighed and dropped her head to his shoulder, silent.

"Not that I'm complaining, but what's the occasion?"

"No occasion. Just missed you."

He hummed a noise of agreement, and dropped a kiss in her auburn waves. Life was hectic, with three inventive and energetic kids, school and work, and everything in between. They made time for each other at the end of every day, but they were both often so tired and worn out, that their check in time consisted of brief conversations, curled up on the couch with a glass of wine, or wrapped around each other in the dark of their bedroom. Other times it was quickly and quietly making love, after the kids were put to bed, before someone came looking for water, or for a monster check under the bed. He missed the quality time with his wife, no interruptions, and it seemed, if her impromptu date night was any indication, that she did as well.

"Who's got our offspring?"

Kate chuckled at the moniker and sipped her wine slowly. "Dad took them to the cabin for the weekend. He wanted to take them fishing one last time before it snows."

"God bless your father," Castle grinned, leaning over for another kiss. She hummed agreeably, sifting her fingers through his hair, tugging him closer. He chuckled at her impatience, and gentled her urgency with a tender hand down her spine. "We've got all night, Love."

"I know," she exhaled, dreamily. "It's glorious."

He laughed outright, and reached for the picnic basket, perusing the contents with mild interest, before settling on a cluster of grapes.

"I wasn't sure if you'd eat before you came home. It's late. There are leftovers in the fridge we can warm up if you're really hungry though."

"This is perfect, Kate. I grabbed a hot dog on my way home. Gina makes me hungry."

Kate laughed, and tapped his shoulder with her head, playfully.

"You're going to have to lay off the street meat one of these days Castle. Cholesterol is not your friend."

Castle groaned, and popped another grape.

"Thank you, mother. But if it makes you feel any better, I held off on the fried onions."

"It does, thank you. But only because onion breath would really hinder all of the plans I have for that mouth tonight."

"Hot. So hot."

"Dance with me?" She stood and held out a hand.

"I would love nothing more."

Her head rested against his chest. She was so small without her heels on, and it gave him a heady surge of masculine pride; like he could protect her from anything. She hummed out a peaceful sigh, as they danced under the stars, swaying back and forth to the dulcet tones of soft jazz.

"Thanks for doing this. I like having you all to myself, every once, in a while."

"That's it? Not all the time? I think I should be offended," she teased softly.

"You are kind of a handful."

Laughing, she pinched the flesh of his waist, making him yelp.

"It's the best kind of handful, though. It fits perfectly." His eyebrows danced as he palmed the curve of her ass.

She considered rolling her eyes, playing along, but the heat of _them_ simmered below the surface, and she wanted nothing more than to feel his hands on her bare skin, as he teased her body. Rising to her toes, she took his earlobe gently between her teeth, soothing the nip with the slow glide of her tongue.

"It's time for bed, Rick."

"It most certainly is."

"You grab the linens and I'll grab the rest. Then I'm going to go downstairs, I'm going to get very naked, and I'm going to run a bubble bath."

"Is that an invitation?"

"More like a request," she kissed his neck gently, before lowering back to flat surface of the roof, below her feet.

"Your wish is my command. Go ahead down. Grab a bottle of red, run the bath, and I'll take care of this and meet you there."

Grinning, she kissed him briefly, grabbing the picnic basket on her way to the door.

"You may want to hurry, though. I don't want to start the party without you."

The want burned in his eyes as he tossed the cushions back on the chaise loungers, and yanked up the blankets.

"Oh, I'm right behind you," he crowded in. "But I'm warning you, we've got a lot of time to make up for and a whole weekend with no interruptions. You may want to fuel up, because you are all mine, Kate Beckett, and trust me, you're going to need the energy to keep this party going."

She dropped the basket to the ground gracelessly, and spun, her arms flying around his neck just as she yanked his mouth towards hers, moaning softly.

"That's a lot of talk," Kate gasped into his kiss.

He spun her on the spot, tugging the roof door open behind him. Without warning he pulled away, throwing the blankets into the entryway, where they landed without a sound. The basket followed quickly, as he nudged it through the door with his foot, his hands wrapping around Kate's slender thighs as he hauled her up and guided them around his waist. She gasped in surprise and arousal as he attacked her lips with renewed vigor, the roof door slamming behind him as he pounded on the button, calling the service elevator. There was no way he was letting go of her long enough to attempt the stairs.

"Bath time can wait. I want dessert first."


	20. The Art of Juggling

**_"No one is ever quite ready; everyone is always caught off guard. Parenthood chooses you._ _And you open your eyes, look at what you've got, say "Oh, my gosh," and recognize that of all the balls there ever were, this is the one you should not drop. It's not a question of choice."_**

 ** _― Marisa de los Santos, Love Walked In_**

* * *

Rick nuzzled the silky hair of the redhead tucked under his arm, and grinned as she yawned around the thumb firmly planted in her mouth. The latest Disney princess sang on about something or other, but Castle's focus was on the laptop settled on his outstretched legs, his granddaughter at his side, and his own little girl, sound asleep and drooling on his thigh. If he didn't have a chapter to deliver to Gina, by the end of the week, he'd be in Heaven. Emerson startled at the sudden turning of a key in the lock, and pounced off the couch, nearly toppling his laptop in the process. Rick clamored to catch the device, jolting Lily from her slumber with a whine, and he hushed out an apology as he gathered the little girl to his chest.

A streak of red flew to the door and Alexis let out a surprised yelp as her daughter collided with her legs, barely making it into the door.

"Mama!"

"Hey Emmy Lou. You scared me."

"I fast."

Alexis dropped her bags in the entry and shucked her rain jacket before reaching down to haul the little girl up to her hip with a smacking kiss on the cheek.

"You are so fast."

Making her way to the couch, Alexis eased down into the outstretched arm of her father, curling up to drop a kiss on her sister's dark locks.

"Hey Lily-Bug. Are you sleepy?"

Lily grumbled and buried her face into her father's chest.

"You wake up like Dad, silly girl."

"Hey now," Castle grumbled back, his pouty face earning Emmy's giggle. "Don't be disparaging my tiny princess her coping mechanisms. There's nothing wrong with being a little thunder-cloud when you're tired, is there?"

Lily gave him a murderous glare and flopped back to his chest with a whine.

He chuckled and hauled Alexis in closer.

"How was work?"

"Good. Lanie and Esposito both spoke to the Captain of the forensics department and I'm pretty much a shoe in for the internship there. It's a paid position, but it will count to my final marks as well, and hopefully gets me into a permanent spot."

"That's great, Pumpkin."

"The hours are still all over the place," she hesitated slightly. "I know you'll have your hands full with the boys once Kate goes back to work, and Lily's in preschool soon, so she won't be around to keep Emmy occupied, but…"

"Emerson is fine with me, Alexis. You don't ever have to worry about finding a place for her."

"I know Dad, I just…"

Rick tugged her closer and dropped a kiss to her forehead. Emerson sighed deeply, and dropped like a stone, to sleep, against her mother's chest.

"Just what?"

"You're doing everything for us, practically raising my daughter, and you've got your own kids to deal with. You don't need my mess too."

"You are my kid, Alexis. You are never going to be too old to need my help, and in case you haven't noticed, I kind of love that little monkey."

Alexis huffed out a sigh and dropped her head to her father's shoulder.

"You're okay too, I guess."

Rolling her eyes, she elbowed him gently in the side, jostling Lily and earning another glare from her sister.

"Sorry, Bug. I'm going to go upstairs and put this one down and change. I'll be down to help with dinner in a few minutes."

"'Kay," her father smiled, tucking Lily's head under his chin and snuggling her close.

"Poor little thing," he whispered in her ear. "So tired and no one will let you get any sleep, huh?"

She looked up at him, pitifully and whined again, rubbing her little fist into her eyes.

"You are such a sucker, you know that?"

Castle grinned as his wife emerged from their bedroom, a tiny body nestled in the curve of her arm.

"What can I say, I've got a thing for little girls." He winced and wrinkled his nose at his unfortunate word choice, and Kate simply rolled her eyes. The baby snuffled in her arms, and she bounced him gently as she ran her fingers through Lily's hair.

"Can you take Reese for a minute? Jake's had a diaper mishap and I need to get his sleepers cleaned up before they stain."

"He eat already?"

Kate nodded wordlessly, bringing the baby to her lips for a gentle kiss before slipping him into his father's waiting arm. "I think we're going to have to start bottle feeding them, though." She sighed and rubbed her forehead tiredly. "They must be going through growth spurts or something. I'm not making enough for them both."

Rick grabbed her hand from around their daughter's listless body, and squeezed.

"That's completely normal, Kate. Their pediatrician told us that supplementing with formula is common with twins."

"I know," Kate sighed again, brushing a finger over the dark fuzz of her son's head. "That doesn't mean I didn't want to be able to take care of them, on my own."

"You are taking care of them, even with the bottles Kate. It just means I get to be a part of it now too. Needing help doesn't mean you've failed them."

She smiled meekly, and looked over her shoulder as a squawk sounded from the bedroom.

"Of course, he wakes up now. We need another set of hands."

"Mine are free," Alexis grinned, bounding down the stairs. "Use me as you wish."

"Oh, thank you," Kate smiled with relief, turning towards the baby's cries. "You are a life-saver."

She flopped to the couch, once more, and leaned in to her father, with a grin. "Ro-sham-bo for the quiet one?"

"Give me a little credit," he gaped. "I'm not falling for that. Again."

Alexis laughed and watched her step mother emerge with another tiny body, this one propped up on her shoulder, grunting angrily as he thrashed with tiny fists.

"Oh, Jakey," his oldest sister cooed, reaching out for the baby. "What's the matter, buddy?"

Kate handed him over, rubbing her forehead again. "He's pulling his legs up again so it's probably gas. He may still be hungry though. Reese ate first."

"Why don't you let me give him a bottle, and you go lay down for a bit, Kate. You must be exhausted."

"I've got to get the sleepers in the laundry, and start dinner, but thank you for the offer. You're a sweetheart."

"Leave the sleepers to me, Kate," Rick chimed in. "Lily's awake, aren't you Bug, and Alexis can take the boys for a few minutes. We'll order in tonight."

"Definitely," Alexis nodded, settling Jake across her legs on his belly. The baby settled quickly, struggling to lift his head as he took in the awkward new position. Kate smiled at the pensive wrinkles on the baby's forehead, and Rick shifted Reese into his sister's arms, tossing Lily to the couch with a giggle.

"I want noodles," the little girl called out.

"Can you be a little more specific, kid?" Rick groaned as he dragged himself to his feet, leaning on Kate's shoulder for support. She huffed a laugh at his antics, which rapidly turned into a sucking yawn. "Yikes," he winked at their daughter. "I almost fell in."

Kate rolled her eyes and smacked his shoulder, gently.

"Pasta," Lily blatantly ignored her father's silliness, earning a smile of pride from her mother, who turned and stuck her tongue out in her husband's direction.

Rick wrinkled his nose at her, and clapped his hands together, startling the babies. "Italian it is. Now, off to bed with you, woman."

Arching a perfectly manicured eyebrow, his wife stared him down for a moment, before turning towards the bedroom with a shake of her head. Alexis glared at her father, on his wife's behalf, and set Reese on the couch beside her, quickly setting his twin beside him. She gave her little sister a wink and Lily grinned, flopping off the couch to stand in front of her baby brothers, leaning over to coo in their faces.

Blankets were set on the floor and the baby boys were set down on their bellies, looking at each other, with their sisters on either side. Lily giggled as the boys struggled to lift their heads and look around, and Alexis sighed happily, surrounded by her family.

The shuttering of a camera sounded from the kitchen, and she tossed a grin over her shoulder.

"Can't fault a guy for capturing the perfect photo of all his babies," Castle shrugged at her. "Is there seriously four of you?"

Alexis laughed, and lifted from the floor, leaving Lily to coo at her brothers. "You're seriously just figuring this out now? How did you ever graduate high school?"

"Har har," Rick narrowed his eyes at his eldest. "Trust me, I've had enough sleepless nights over the past four years for twenty of you. Sometimes it just hits me that I've got four kids. It was just us for so long, I never really thought of anyone past you."

"It is kind of surreal, isn't it?"

They both gazed over to the living room, watching Lily show the babies all her toys as they grunted with the effort of holding their heads. Jake gave up and dropped to the blanket, sighing as he lay his head down to keep his attention on the dark-haired child.

"They are pretty damn cute."

Rick scoffed and nudged the young woman with his shoulder.

"They're mine, of course they're cute."

Alexis rolled her eyes and nudged him back.

"I hate to break it to you, Dad, but those three in there…all Kate."

"It's so not fair," he whined, slumping his shoulders dramatically. "Four of you and you think I'd get at least one that resembles me in the slightest."

"Well, you may still get a shot with the boys. They're still in their old man, alien phase. Maybe they'll look like you when they start to look like people."

Reese shrieked angrily, and Lily shot her father an alarmed look, a silent plea for help. He grinned and jogged to the floor, lifting his baby son up into his arms.

"Daddy to the rescue, Tiger-Lily. You're doing a great job."

The three-year old beamed at her father's pride, and flopped back down to her belly to touch noses with the remaining twin. His fists thrashed uncoordinatedly, as he attempted to reach out and grab hold of her.

Castle lifted Reese to his shoulder and gently patted the baby's back, kissing his tiny head as he spoke softly in his ear.

"What's the matter, little man? Mommy just fed you, and you're nice and clean, so what gives, huh?"

His face continued to scrunch, angrily, trying to voice his disappointment with grunts and squawks until he finally managed to release an ear-piercing shriek.

"I am impressed with your lungs, bud, but Mommy's sleeping and we really need to keep it down to a dull roar."

"I'm awake," Kate sighed, trudging from the bedroom in leggings and a loose tee. She slipped in close and ran her fingers over the baby's head before easing him from his father's arms. The baby stilled immediately at the sound of her voice and gazed widely into his mother's face. "Hey, Baby? What's going on huh?" The baby simply stared.

"Look Dad, he's just as infatuated with Kate as you are."

Castle shot his grinning daughter a glare, before an exaggerated sigh in his wife's direction. "It would hurt if I didn't totally get it. I'd be a Mama's boy if she was mine too."

"Don't listen to them, Peanut Butter," she shot her husband a look and swayed back and forth with the baby. "Mommy knows all about it. You shout when you need me, and I'll always come get you." Alternating gentle kisses, and the stroke of her nose along his scalp, she continued to sway, and the baby's eyes finally began to droop.

"Almost makes me want another one," Alexis sighed, dreamily.

"Better be yours," Kate grinned, smirking at her husband. "This baby factory is closed for business."

Castle scowled between his wife and daughter.

"No way. Nuh-uh. Not for a very long time. No more babies for either of you."

Kate laughed, and Jake shrieked from the living room at the sound of his mother's voice. Kate sighed and bent over to retrieve her fussing baby, skillfully scooping him up with one hand and propping him up to her chest beside his brother. Both babies relaxed and snuggled in close to each other, against her breast. Jake sucking Reese's fist in earnest.

"Don't eat your brother, Jakey. You've got your own hands." Reese dragged his eyes open as Kate slid his fist away, only to slip it back into his brother's face moments later. "Fine with me, you two want to nibble on each other, go ahead." Jake resumed the slurping of his brother's fingers and his eyes slipped shut, both babies content.

"Kate Beckett, for the win," Castle whispered, grinning at her shy smile. "Dinner should be here in a few minutes."

Tiredly, smiling her assent, she hummed softly and swayed around the room, alternating kisses between the two warm bodies in her arms.

"You want me to take them, put them down for you?" Alexis approached, a hand tenderly on her shoulder.

"I'm good, thanks. If you could grab me the wrap from the end of my bed, I'll put them in there and let them sleep while I eat, though."

Alexis nodded and disappeared from her side.

"Mommy?"

"Yes, my sweet girl?"

"How come the babies only like you? They don't ever want to play with me, and they make lots of noise when Daddy's holding them."

Kate nudged her daughter with her hip, guiding her towards the couch, as Alexis returned and wordlessly traded her step mother the baby carrier for the babies. They snuffled at the disturbance, but remained asleep.

"The babies are still very tiny, Lil. They've been living in my tummy their whole lives until they were born, and it's only been a few weeks. They're used to hearing my voice and my heartbeat from the inside. When they're snuggled up they can hear it again and it makes them feel safe." She carded her fingers through her daughter's hair as she adjusted the fabric around her torso, and reached out for one of the twins.

"Mommy smells different to them, than you and Daddy do. They can smell their milk and it makes them want me more than anyone else. Sometimes because they're hungry and sometimes just because they like the way it feels when they get to eat. We're going to start giving them bottles soon, though, and they'll start to learn that food comes from other people too. Would you like to try giving them a bottle sometime?"

Lily gaped at her mother, a final adjustment tucking the babies back against her breast, as she knelt slowly down to draw the little girl close.

"I can do that?"

"Of course, you can, sweetheart. You're such a good big sister, I'm sure they would love it if you helped to feed them."

"Oh yes, Mommy. I want to do that, very, very, very much."

Kate laughed and kissed her daughter's forehead.

"Okay. I'll let Daddy know that when it's time for a bottle, Tiger-Lily gets to help."

"Awesome," the little girl whispered, amazed, so much like her father. Her attention was captured by the sound of little feet on the stairs, and she quickly turned away to greet her newly woken niece.

"That was so freaking adorable," Alexis grinned, linking arms with her step-mother.

"I can't tell if she's more like your father, or your grandmother," Kate grinned back. "It's equal parts drama and passion, definitely not me."

"That's all Dad. Those two are best friends, after all."

Kate laughed and led Alexis to the bar stools in the kitchen.

"Truth. It's a good thing he's got you and Emmy back here to fuss over, or he'd be completely devastated when Lily starts pre-school in the fall."

Alexis grew pensive and rested the side of her head in her hand, still watching the older woman.

"Is it okay that we're here? I know it's crowded…"

"Alexis, you never have to worry if there's room here for you." Reaching out a hand, Kate cupped the young woman's pale cheek. "This is your home, and your father and I will always have space, if you need it."

"Thanks Kate," Alexis whispered, eyes shimmering with emotion. "I never thought we'd be here."

"I know, honey," Kate dragged her step-daughter to her side. "I never wanted this for you either, but we're all here for each other. Lily is thrilled, sharing a room with Emmy, and I'm pretty sure your Dad loves that the girls are here to keep each other occupied during the day. He gets time to write and he gets to play tea party, so he's pretty much set. I'm more worried about you, there's not much privacy, and I know it must be hard to get home from work and have the boys crying all night, and the girls squealing at each other."

"It's fine, Kate, I promise," the young woman lifted her head. "I actually kind of love the noise. It was so quiet when I was growing up, and Dad always tried to make it fun, but I always wanted little brothers and sisters running around. Just because I'm an adult now, doesn't really change that. I love getting the chance to watch them all grow up, and not miss anything."

"Well, I love having you here. It's purely selfish of course," she nudged the young woman. "I'd never be able to shower again if you weren't here to take a baby hand off every night." She grinned, and Alexis laughed, capturing the attention of her father from his place back between the two small girls, on the couch. He leaped up at the sound of the doorbell, and the girls cheered happily, trailing behind him to get their dinner.

Kate glanced down, but the babies slept contentedly, despite the noise. Alexis moved to the cupboards to get the dishes out, and Rick approached with take out bags, sidling up beside his wife.

"Everything okay?"

"She's fine, Babe. She's a little lost right now, but we'll get her through."

Rick sighed and placed a tender kiss on her forehead.

"You're such a good Mom, Kate. Not just to the little ones but to Alexis too. You're exactly what she needs."

Swallowing past the lump of emotion in her throat, she raised to her toes and kissed him tenderly.

"I love being their mom. All of them, Rick."

He squeezed her hand briefly, and smiled, as they both stood back and watched dinner time unfold around them. Alexis grinned and made silly faces as she plated out dinner, and the girls jabbered on to her about everything and nothing.

"Mom and Dad, stop making gooey eyes at each other and eat while it's still hot."

Lily and Emerson giggled, and Alexis shot Kate a tiny smile.

"You hear that, Mom?" Rick whispered, wrapping his arm around her shoulder. "Let's go eat."


	21. Letting Go

**_Thanks again for all the follows and favourites, and all the kind and wonderful reviews. I don't get many chances to write, but some days, the story bugs bite and I can't help myself. I'm so glad this story continues to make so many of you happy. I know it still makes me happy to think about a future for our favourite duo, so as long as the stories keep coming to me, I'll keep writing them. Thanks again. You are all amazing._**

* * *

It was blissfully quiet when she opened the door to the loft, barely a head moved as she set her keys on the table and shucked off her coat. Lily glanced up from her place on the floor, in front of the fire, where she lay on her belly, feet swinging in the air. A video played softly on the tablet in front of her, and she hummed along with whatever she was watching. She blushed and smiled sweetly, as Kate waved at her daughter, but quickly returned to her video.

Her husband's back was to her, again. His broad, strong, and wonderful back. Kate wrapped her arms around his waist and dropped her chin to his shoulder to kiss his cheek.

"Smells good."

"Good. Won't be ready for a while, though. Go ahead and get settled in."

"I'm not doing anything until you turn around and kiss me properly."

Rick chuckled, and turned in her arms, gathering her up in his own.

"Sorry. Distracted."

Leaning down, their lips met softly in a hello. Not passion filled, or needy, just a sweet and slow _I missed you. I love you._

"That's better," she smiled, ending the kiss with a caress of her hand on his cheek. "Boys asleep?"

"Yeah, though they should be awake soon. You want to feed them before dinner?"

Kate grimaced slightly and wriggled her shoulders for effect.

"I didn't get a chance to pump today, so I'm rapidly approaching the 'uncomfortable' stage. I don't want to feed them if they're not hungry though. When was their last bottle? I can pump now, if I have to."

Rick shook his head and returned to his dinner prep.

"You're good. They've been asleep for a few hours, and they've been hungry all day."

He smiled over his shoulder.

"I know you want some time with them, anyway. And they never say no to those." He gestured to her breasts, his eyebrows waggling suggestively.

Kate laughed and shook her head, shoving his back with the tips of her fingers.

"I wish you weren't right, however, your sons seem to have inherited your sense of indecency."

"Don't knock the indecency. You love it when I'm…indecent," he lowered his voice to that deep, rumbling, bedroom voice that melted her knees.

Kate grinned again, tugging her bottom lip between her teeth.

"I kinda do."

Her husband chuckled, and turned his attention, once again to dinner.

"Go grab your shower before it's too late."

She nodded wordlessly, stopping to lean over the counter, propping herself on her elbows toward the chairs on the other side, and the little redhead that colored quietly.

"Hey Emmy-Lou. How's my girl?"

"I'm good," Emerson answered, eyes never moving from her picture.

Kate reached across and ran a hand down the cascade of fiery hair, still not capturing her granddaughter's attention, and she rolled her eyes and rose from the counter. She was such a little Castle. Just like her grandfather when he got trapped in a writing coma. Nothing could take him away from the words when they came to him.

She sighed, and shook her head slightly, feeling slightly maudlin over the lack of acknowledgement from the little girls. Her boys would be excited to see her, and that cheered her slightly as she stepped in the shower and sloughed off her day.

Kate was curled into the corner of the couch, bare feet drawn under herself as she watched Reese rock back and forth on hands and knees, from the floor in front of her. Jake was nursing quietly, still fuzzy with sleep, half lidded eyes gazing up at his mommy, and she smiled at him as she brought her lips to his tiny fist, with a sweet kiss.

Alexis slipped through the front door, stopping in her tracks, and looking slightly baffled at the lack of greeting she was also receiving. Kate caught her gaze, and shrugged wordlessly, and her stepdaughter huffed, slipping out of her shoes. Coming home.

She dropped to the couch beside Kate, her eyes firmly on the children playing quietly on the floor.

"What's up, kiddo? You look…worried."

"Not worried, just…" she trailed off, flopping to the back of the couch, her eyes slipping closed.

"Just?" Kate reached over to take her step-daughter's hand.

"Luke asked me out."

"And?"

Alexis sat up, indignantly, turning towards the older woman.

"What do you mean, and? He asked me on a date. He's Sam's best friend. It just feels…wrong."

"Alexis," Kate sighed, squeezing her hand in comfort. "It's been over a year, honey. Luke has been there this whole time, making sure you and Emerson are taken care of. He's in love with you. We can see it, you just haven't been paying attention."

"But," she whispered. "How do I just, move on?"

"You just do, sweetheart. You have to. For yourself and for Emerson. You can't spend the rest of your life waiting for a man who isn't coming back."

A tear trickled down her cheek, and Kate reached out to wipe it away, gently.

"I know how much you miss him. How much you want him to be here, but he's gone, sweetheart. He's gone, and he would want you and Emmy to be happy. I think Luke makes you happy, and I think that scares you."

Alexis bit her lip and looked towards her daughter, nodding softly.

"I don't want to hurt like this again, Kate. I can't do it."

Kate tugged her into her side, and raised the corners of her lips, an almost smile, as her husband tentatively approached the pair. He eased down beside his daughter and placed a hand on her back, raising an eyebrow, in question, to his wife. She shook her head, gently, and they simply sat.

"I know you don't want to get hurt again, sweetheart. I can't even imagine how hard it is to lose your best friend the way you lost Sam, but would you change the time you had with him? Would you give it back if it meant you didn't feel this way?"

Castle watched silently, as his wife comforted his daughter, reaching over to ease the milk drunk baby from his mother's arms, as she adjusted her top and slipped her free arm around the woman; very much like a little girl, in this moment. Alexis shook her head and turned her head to look at her daughter once more.

"I loved him so much. I still love him. Part of me will always love him. How do I just let that go?"

"You don't. That's what makes Luke so great, Alexis. He knows. He's not trying to replace Sam, he loved him too. But there's room in your heart for them both, and just because you have feelings for Luke doesn't mean you have to stop loving Sam. He gave you that beautiful little girl over there, he will always be a part of your life, but you're allowed to be happy. You're allowed to want more."

Kate smiled over the red-head against her chest, to her husband's silent gaze, as he rubbed gentle circles on his son's back. He wasn't usually so quiet, but he had learned when Alexis needed to be nudged into happiness, and when she just needed a mother. This was Kate's moment.

"Okay."

"Okay, you get it, or okay, I'm going to agree with you, so you stop talking now?"

Alexis chuckled and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand.

"Okay, I get it. You're right. I'll call him tonight and we can talk it out."

Kate nodded and kissed the young woman's forehead.

"Good girl."

"Wait, how do you know I have feelings for Luke?"

Castle scoffed behind her, breaking his self-imposed silence.

"Please, we're not blind, and you, are terrible at hiding your feelings. You get all pink and adorable whenever he's here, and when he's got Emmy you just get that gross melty look Kate gets sometimes. Well, it's not gross when Kate looks like that, but you…yuck. That look has implications I don't even want to think about."

"Castle," Kate nudged his thigh with her toes, rolling her eyes. "I think those _implications_ are off the table for the time being."

Alexis just shook her head, mildly amused.

"Wait. For her or for me?"

"And on that note," the red-head shoved herself off the couch. "If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go bleach my brain. Don't scar my brother for life."

Kate laughed, startling both boys. Jake's eyes opened hazily, and he watched her from his place against his father's shoulder. Reese squealed happily and slapped at the floor with his little hands.

"You like that, do you?" Kate raised her voice, playfully, dropping to the floor to stalk towards the 10-month-old. Reese squealed again and kicked his arms and legs, frog swimming on his belly. She could hear Jake babbling behind her, not entirely happy that his brother had captured all their mother's attention, but Kate persisted, crawling towards the boy on the floor. Finally reaching him, she reached out and swung him up into the air, earning a delighted cackle from the dark-haired baby. She smacked kisses over his chubby cheeks, and he giggled and clutched her long hair in his fists.

Jake squawked, indignantly, and Castle set the boy on his belly, on the floor in front of the sofa. Kate shot a serious look at the twin on the floor as she pried her hair from his brother's grip.

"Listen you. I'm playing with Reese, you'll get your turn, but you're not the only one here, you know."

Jake shouted again, and smacked at the floor angrily before pulling himself up to his hands and knees. Reese launched himself at Kate's face, dropping a drooly open mouthed kiss against her chin, and Kate laughed happily as hummed his baby talk into her skin.

"Thank you for the kisses, baby. They're so very wet."

Reese shrieked his happiness and threw himself at her face for more.

"Kate."

Kate chuckled as she tried to extricate herself from Reese's firm grip, but the boy was thrilled to have all of her, and he wasn't letting go.

"Kate."

"Hang on, Castle. He's got my hair and my chin."

"Seriously, Kate."

"Castle, what?" She yanked her hair from the baby's grip, and turned towards her husband, annoyed.

She was stopped by the delighted, toothless grin, as Jake crawled his way towards her, fast, like he'd been doing it forever.

"Rick, he's crawling."

"I know," Castle muttered. She could hear the eye roll in his voice. "That's what I was trying to tell you."

She set Reese down between her legs, and reached both arms out for the approaching twin.

"Jakey, baby. Come here. You're doing great. Come see Mommy."

The boy squealed with glee as he crawled to, and up her leg. She laughed and hauled him up to her chest, squeezing him as she kissed his little face.

"You did it, sweet boy. Yay."

Reese's eyes lit up, like he understood, and he beamed as he clapped his hands together.

"Aaaaaaaaay"

"That's right, Peanut butter, yay."

Castle dropped to the floor with his wife and sons, reaching out to take Reese from Kate's lap. They sat facing each other, a boy each, clutching their fingers as they stood and bounced happily, chattering to each other in their baby language.

Kate caught her husband's eye, and beamed that bright and happy smile he loved so much. She took his breath away.

"God, I love you."

She shone even brighter.

"I love you too. So much, Rick."

"If you two are done being gross, dinner's ready."

Castle shot his daughter a dirty look and Kate rolled her eyes. The twins thought their biggest sister was the funniest person in the world, and cackled happily, clapping their hands together. Alexis grinned at them, and stuck her tongue out at her father, as he shoved her shoulder gently. Kate laughed and shook her head at their childlike behaviour, taking her son from his father. Adjusting both boys, face forward in her arms, she followed her family to the kitchen.

"Maybe you could watch your sister and brothers later then. I'd like to take your father to be thoroughly gross in private."

Alexis made a noise of disgust and shuddered, and Castle laughed brilliantly beside her.


	22. Sugar and Spice

"You seriously need to stop looking so nervous," she shot out to the man standing beside her bed. "You're not even doing the hard part."

Kate chuckled and glanced across the room to her husband, winking her acknowledgment of the humor in the present situation. Of course, if she voiced any amusing notions aloud, Alexis was bound to snap her head off as well, and Kate knew now wasn't the time to try and nudge out the Castle in the young woman.

"You're doing great, sweetheart," Castle sighed, perching himself on the side of the bed as he tucked a strand of sweaty hair behind her ear. "I know you're frustrated and tired, and in pain, and he may not be doing the actual birth part, but he's having his first baby now too. Try to remember that."

Alexis sighed and flopped her head back against the pillow, smiling tiredly, and reaching out for her boyfriend's hand.

"Sorry I'm being such a bitch. I'm nervous too, I guess."

Sam dropped like a stone to the seat beside her, metal legs scraping on the linoleum as he tugged it closer to her side.

"Hey, now. You go ahead and yell at me, hit me, do whatever you need to do. I'm a big boy, and my only job today is to help you have our little girl."

He kissed her knuckles, and squeezed her hand. Alexis squeezed back and sighed again.

"It's taking forever."

"First baby can take a long time, sweetie. Your mother was in labour with you…" he ran a hand through his hair. "Nevermind. Your mother made it through about two hours before she declared childbirth to be too sweaty and painful and demanded a c-section."

Alexis rolled her eyes, her mother's behaviour more of an amusement, at this point in her life, and huffed with irritation, looking again to Sam.

"Why do I want to yell at you?"

Kate laughed from across the room. "It's perfectly normal Alexis. Labour does strange things to you, and I was only in labour with Lily for a few hours. Everything felt so much bigger than it was. Your dad was horribly annoying."

"Hey!"

"Please. You know it's the truth. I don't even remember what you were rambling on about, and I kept trying to get you out the door. I know you were trying to be sweet, but I just wanted to shoot you."

Castle sighed dramatically. "I think I should take Sam down to the cafeteria to get a cup of coffee and try and prolong his existence for a while. I kind of like the guy, and it would be a shame for you to scare him away now."

"Dad," Alexis huffed, rolling her eyes at her father.

Sam laughed. "I'm a cop, I'd take a lot of shit in the locker room if my girlfriend in labour scared me off. Although, they do know she's a redhead."

It was Kate's turn to roll her eyes.

"You two have been spending entirely too much time together," she gestured between Alexis' father and boyfriend. "A coffee break sounds like a fantastic idea. I'll sit with Alexis while you two get your manly bonding out of the way."

Alexis chuckled and Rick simply grinned, squeezing an awkward looking Sam's shoulder tightly.

"Alright Sam, you've been given a reprieve. Let's make the most of it, shall we?"

"I guess," the young man hedged, looking to Alexis for reassurance, or maybe it was permission.

"Go. Can you get me some juice, please? And maybe some of those bran cookies they had on the lunch tray. My ice is melted too." She smiled sweetly, and held out her cup.

"Whatever the lady wants," Rick smiled, and performed a dramatic bow, making his daughter giggle.

The two men slipped from the room, leaving it in silence. Both women sighed with relief, and looked at each other with mildly guilty expressions, that quickly turned into smiles.

A sharp intake of breath signalled a new contraction and Alexis moaned loudly, hunching towards her knees as if to escape the pain.

"I can't do this anymore. It's too hard. I can't do this," she cried out, panting hard as the contraction peaked.

Kate strode quickly to her side, and eased onto the bed, taking her stepdaughters hands.

"Alexis, open your eyes and look at me."

Alexis moaned again, but leaned back against the pillow and opened her eyes.

"Breathe. Deep breath in, out through your mouth." Kate breathed with her.

"Again. Deep breath in, and out. It's almost over, just another deep breath in, and out."

Alexis shuddered and relaxed as the contraction tapered off to nothing.

"You're so strong, sweetheart. I know you can do this. You've got Sam, and your Dad here, and you've got me. We will all get you through this, okay. When it's over you get to hold your tiny baby, and the pain will all stop." Kate wiped the sweat from the young woman's face with a cool cloth, and kissed the cooled skin. "It will all be over soon, I promise."

"How did you do all this, before. I wasn't even shot first and this is the absolute worst."

Kate just smiled softly, and adjusted her position at the top of the bed, nudging Alexis further down the bed, as she slipped in behind her.

"Pregnancy or the actual delivering the baby part?"

Alexis made a noise of disgust, and dropped her head into her hands.

"All of it. Being pregnant sucks. Hard. Why the hell does anyone think pregnant women glow? It's total bullshit."

Kate laughed and reached up to remove the elastic that held her stepdaughter's hair atop her head. She combed her fingers through the sweat dampened strands and began braiding.

"I have no idea. I guess some women do have that mythical glow. It's just easy for some of them, which is just entirely unfair, if you ask me."

"It totally is," Alexis whined, entirely without commitment, almost hypnotically as Beckett's fingers against her scalp soothed her into relaxation.

"I was just a big ball of pain through the whole thing, and not just because of the shooting. I should have known about Lily, now that I think about it, but there was just so much going on, and I wasn't paying attention. My hips ached, and my boobs were in agony. I think I just brushed it off as getting my period or something. Who knows what I was thinking then."

The redhead swayed tiredly, and Kate wrapped the elastic around the end of the braid with a flourish. Sighing again, she surprised Beckett, leaning back into her step-mother's chest, her head against her shoulder. Kate tucked a pillow behind Alexis's lower back and wrapped her arms around her, just holding her. Still and quiet.

"I'm so glad you came back."

"Not coming back was never an option. I know you didn't know that, back then, but your dad is it for me. He's always been it for me."

"I know. I see it now, the way you love him. I just didn't understand it then. Having Sam, being a mom, I understand now."

"When I first met you, you were so unlike I was at 15. You were level headed, and sedate, but you had such an energy for things. Your dad has it too, his is just a little less constrained sometimes. I've watched you grow up since then, and I am so proud to have been a part of it, Alexis. Even just watching from a distance, you've always amazed me."

"Kate?" Alexis began, but the onset of another contraction halted her voice. Kate spoke calmly in her ear, guiding her breath and placing her own hands over Alexis' to paint her belly in a smooth circular motion. When it was over, the young woman exhaled deeply and closed her eyes, comforted in the gentle sway of Kate's body around hers, unconsciously rocking, like she did when she was holding Lily. She hummed softly, looking up as her husband filled the doorway. He gestured to his daughter with a nod of his head, and his wife nodded wordless assent. Yes, his daughter was asleep.

Without a sound, the men crept into the room and settled back into their respective chairs. The contractions were getting closer together, Kate considered, from her place at Alexis' back. It wouldn't be long now before the next one began, and these were the first few moments of sleep the young woman had had in a very long time. It had been nearly eighteen hours, since the phone call alerting them of the beginning of labour. They had gathered their sleeping one-year-old up and delivered her to her grandfather, with promises of keeping him posted, and made their way to Alexis and Sam's apartment.

Ten hours had passed, since their arrival to the hospital, and Kate wasn't sure how she knew, but Alexis was getting close. Her demeanour was changing. Her posture during contractions was tight and controlled. She was slipping inside her own head as her body prepared itself for the baby's delivery. Perhaps it was all the books and videos she had read on pregnancy and birth, while on bedrest during her own pregnancy. Maybe it was intuition. Regardless, Kate had the sense that the baby would be arriving very soon.

Alexis clenched in Kate's arms once again, and step-mother chanted the mantra over, and over again. _In and out._ When it was over, she kissed the top of Alexis' head, and eased her forward, slipping out from behind her. She smiled at Sam, and gestured for him to take her place. Gratitude shone in his eyes as he slipped in behind her, and Alexis sighed happily, scooting back to lean fully against his chest.

Returning to her husband's side, she took his hand and smiled sweetly at the unintelligible words of love Sam crooned into their daughter's ear.

"You're amazing."

She turned at the soft words, behind her, and leaned briefly against Castle's broad chest.

"I haven't done anything."

"Kate, this…this is everything."

Blinking back the burning threat of tears, she raised up on her toes to kiss him gently. It struck her sometimes, how fragile and damaged father and daughter were. Castle had given Alexis everything she could ever want, and the young woman was loved more than any other child Kate had ever known, their own daughter aside. Yet, the absence of a mother for his little girl, still haunted Rick, a failure he felt he could never atone for. Kate knew the hole in Alexis' life, the shape of a mother, and even though she rarely let it known, Beckett understood how deeply Meredith had wounded her daughter.

"Rick Castle, I need you to listen to me."

He blinked, surprised at the firm edge in her voice.

"You need to stop thanking me for loving her, like it's some sort of chore I've deigned to take on. I don't love her because she's yours and you're mine, and I have to. I love her because she's Alexis. I'm not doing any of this out of some misguided sense of obligation, or to prove something to you. You need to seriously deflate your ego, if you think I'd do something like that."

He blinked again, his mouth opening and closing like a fish on dry land.

"She's my family, Rick, just like you are, and Lily, and my dad and your mom. We're a family. That makes her mine. You got it. So, stop thanking me like you're grateful that I'm still here. I wouldn't be anywhere else, and it's more than a little insulting that you think I'm that self absorbed."

A grin overtook his features, and he hauled her into his chest, squeezing tightly.

"Have I told you how hot you are when you're mad?"

Huffing out an annoyed laugh, Beckett planted her hands on his chest and shoved him away gently.

"I mean it, Buster."

"Message received, Captain. Loud and clear."

She rolled her eyes, and returned her focus to Alexis, only to find the two occupants of the bed staring at the scene before them, the young woman's cheeks flushed with exertion and a little bit of embarrassment.

"Oh for Heaven's sake," Kate rolled her eyes and moved towards the bed. "Not you too."

"I'm good," the red-head stammered, shaking her head. "Nothing happening here."

"Excellent. Then it's all good."

"Uh-huh," Alexis blushed again and looked down at her belly.

The nurse entered the room with a smile, as she snapped on a pair of rubber gloves.

"What's happening in here? Are we getting any closer to baby time?"

"God, I hope so," Alexis whined. "I want this baby out."

"If I had a dollar for every time I heard that phrase, I'd be a very rich woman," the nurse winked, drawing chuckles from the room's occupants. "I'm just going to do a quick exam, if you'd like to step outside the room for a few minutes?" She looked up at Rick, still smiling.

"I'm good thanks," he nodded back. Alexis stared at him in horror.

"Oh God, Dad. No. Do you really want to see that? Just. No."

"Oh. You're right sweetheart." Rick stammered, coming back to himself as he realized what he had agreed to. "No. Not something I want to. No. I'm. I'll be. Out there. I'll be out there."

Kate shook her head and followed her husband out the door.

"Smooth, Castle. No wonder all the ladies throw themselves at you. You have a real way with words."

"Hey!" he pouted. "She caught me off guard, that's all. My brain stopped listening and my mouth kept going. It's not the first time and it won't be the last."

Kate snorted.

"Tell me something I don't know."

"Kate," he whined, tugging her closer. "Be nice to me. My baby's having a baby. I'm going to be a grandpa soon. I'm officially old. I don't want to be old."

"Oh, Baby," Kate sighed, dramatically, reaching up to run her fingers through his thick hair. "You're never going to be old to me. You'll always be my man-child." She grinned in his face, and he huffed at her.

"You're not very nice tonight, you know that?"

"You love it and you know it. If I didn't poke back, you'd be bored out of your mind. Face it Rick Castle, we both need someone who pokes us out of the dark places we get stuck in."

"That's what I do? I…poke you?" she caught the leer in his voice and the waggle of his eyebrows, and she groaned at her own setup.

"I see what you did there, babe. Nicely done. On top, as usual, even when you're in a mood."

"Come on Beckett, you're just lobbing out the easy pitches tonight. On top? You know what I'm going to do with that right?" He bounced like a kid, thrilled with the game.

"You got me again. I'm just going to stop now before I dig myself in any deeper into the gutter that is your mind."

"Hey, you're the one that started talking dirty."

"When I start talking dirty, Rick. You'll know it."

The nurse poked her head past the curtain in front of the open door and grinned.

"Y'all can come back in now."

"So, what's the verdict?" Castle clapped his hands together and rubbed them excitedly.

Alexis was panting on the bed, hunched forward as Sam kneaded his fists into her lower back. When she didn't respond, Sam spoke up.

"She's ready to push. We're just waiting for the doctor."

The young woman was focussed, deeply on the movements of her body, but she gripped Kate's hand hard and began to writhe.

"Oh God. I need to push. Sam, she's coming. I need to push."

"Sweetie, you've got to hold on for just a minute. The doctor is on her way, don't push yet," the nurse began the setup of instruments on a tray at the end of the bed, and adjusted the frame to drop the lower piece away.

"Where's my mom. I need my mom."

"Pumpkin," Rick stepped forward and moved towards the bed. "Your mom isn't…"

Kate glared, and stopped him with a hand on his chest, her eyebrow raised in reminder, and he halted in his tracks. Slipping to the young woman's bedside, she gripped her hand tightly.

"I'm here, Alexis. I'm right here."

"I need to push. I can't…"

A tall and angular woman entered the room, draping a green coat over her scrubs as she reached for the face shield the nurse held out to her.

"I hear there's a party about to get started in here?"

She had a mild accent, Eastern European, and Castle was thrilled with her instantly. He conjured up images of Bond villains and the scenes began flowing in his head.

"Dad. I love you, but you seriously need to go now."

Rick stumbled forward and kissed his daughter's forehead.

"I'm so proud of you sweetheart. We'll be out in the waiting room with Gram. You're doing amazing."

Kate reached for his hand, as he turned towards the door.

"Kate?" the young woman called out, breathlessly. "I need you."

Rick smiled softly, and nodded to his wife, leaning down for a quick kiss.

"I'll see you soon."

Watching him amble out of the room, she had a moment of heartache for him. At the sound of Alexis' shout, she spun and rapidly returned to where she was needed.

"Okay Alexis, we're going to have your mom and Eve, here, hold onto your feet and you're going to push for me."

Places were taken and the red-head groaned with exhaustion and effort.

"And, push. Straight from your bottom. Count to ten, and breathe."

Kate let out a deep exhale, realizing with a start, that she was experiencing this along with her step-daughter, also for the very first time. She squeezed Alexis' foot and gave her a watery smile.

"Again. Count to ten and push hard."

Her breath stopped, completely in awe, as a tiny head emerged. The doctor worked quickly, suctioning the nose and checking for a cord around the neck before urging another push, that expelled the rest of the wriggling, wet, body.

Kate laughed in amazement and pure joy at the sight, and stared at the tiny baby girl, wailing unhappily as she was tended to. She waited out the private joy between new mother and father, as they stared in wonder at the sight of their daughter, before slipping to the top of the bed and leaning over to kiss the young woman.

"You were absolutely amazing. I am so, incredibly proud of you."

Alexis smiled tiredly and finally slid her eyes away from the bundle in her arms.

"Thank you. I'm so glad you're here."

Teary eyed, she looked back to her daughter.

"Hey baby girl. You want to meet your grandma?"

Looking up expectantly, she raised the tiny pink bundle towards Kate's arms.

She ignored the tears dripping down her cheeks, and gathered the baby to her chest.

"Hello, beautiful."

A flurry of noise behind her, drew Kate's attention for a moment, and she found Sam, beaming with pride enter the room. He must have left at some point, she couldn't take her eyes off the baby. Hot on his tails was her husband, bouncing like a child standing at the gates of Disney World.

Castle bounded towards her, earning a bright laugh from Alexis.

"I want to see. Let me see the baby. I want to hold her. Can I hold her?"

Kate laughed and stilled him, with a hand to the shoulder.

"Easy, baby. You want to see your grandpa, baby girl? Huh?"

Wordlessly, she slipped the baby into her husband's arms, and watched his face alight with such radiant joy. God, she loved him.

"She's so perfect, Pumpkin."

"She is, isn't she," Alexis sighed, dreamily.

"Does she have a name, yet?" the nurse stepped in, adjusting the bed to make Alexis more comfortable.

"Emerson," Sam grinned. "Emerson Mae."

"That's perfect," Kate grinned back, reaching out for the baby's small fist. "She looks like an Emerson."

"Oh, Gram is on her way up," Rick spoke, still gazing at the baby. "She told me to tell you she caught sight of big game and didn't want to let it slip through her fingers. Today is a lucky day."

Alexis laughed happily, and nodded. "Only Gram."

"Yes, well," Castle continued. "She's going to meet Jim and Lily downstairs and bring them up here, if that's okay with you?"

"Of course." She reached back for the baby her father finally handed back, with a reluctant sigh.

"Lily's been fussy and requesting mama for a few hours. Probably her teeth again."

Kate smiled again, the thought of her own daughter magnified in the aftermath of the incredible event to which she had just borne witness.

"We'll stick around for a few minutes after they get here, and then we'll leave you three alone. You can get some sleep and let Sam have some Daddy-daughter time. There's nothing quite like it." He quirked his lips in a wistful smile.

"It's the best thing in the whole world," Alexis look straight into his eyes as she spoke.

Rick couldn't speak past the lump in his throat. He simply nodded, and kissed his daughter's damp, fiery head. Once more, for good measure.


	23. Bleeding Blue

The excited chatter of the two little girls rang through the loft, as Kate nibbled a carrot stick from the kitchen counter, watching her father play ponies on the living room floor. She grinned brightly as he accepted his granddaughters demands, without question, and held his hand out for a bright blue toy. Rick chuckled behind her, stirring dinner on the stove, and Emerson cackled maniacally.

"Should we rescue him," she snickered, resting her cheek against the flat of her husband's back, wrapping her arms around his solid form as he continued to attend to their dinner. "Is it bad that I am slightly thrilled that they are torturing him with ponies?"

"As long as it's not you, you mean?" Rick chuckled again. "Not bad at all.

The sound of her cell ringing drew a deep sigh from her chest, and she lifted the offending device from the countertop, with a frown. "It's the precinct."

Castle heard the clipped sound of her last name, as she answered, but the silence that followed filled his gut with lead, and he turned around slowly. Kate stood, eyes closed, in the middle of the kitchen. "Javi, who?"

He heard her speak, watched as she strode purposefully toward the bedroom. She emerged a few moments later, back in her sedate navy suit, all traces of off duty Kate vanished, and she pocketed her cell as she approached. Launching herself into his arms, Rick felt her tears soaking through the flannel of his shirt.

"Kate, you're scaring me."

He held tight as she trembled in his arms, waiting for her to explain.

"Officer down. I have to go in."

"Is it bad?"

"Yeah, Rick. It's bad."

"Kate?"

"Officer Travis, shot and killed in Central Park. His partner is in critical condition."

"Oh God," Castle collapsed back into the counter, his gaze snapping to the living room where his tiny granddaughter played happily. "Oh God."

"How am I supposed to tell her, Rick. How am I supposed to tell her that the father of her child is never coming home?"

Castle wrapped his arms around his wife, tighter, unable to release his grip.

"I've got the girls, Katie."

Nodding silently, she squeezed her father's hand, atop her shoulder, as he approached silently behind, her attention still fixed on the ashen face of her partner. "I need you with me on this, Rick. I have to be the Captain tonight, I can't be her mother. Sam and Officer Warren deserve their Captain tonight."

"Oh God," Castle swallowed back the bile that threatened to come.

"Castle, I need you to have my back now. Can you do that?"

The quiet desperation in her voice dragged him back to reality. "Yeah. Um, yeah, I can do that."

"I need to call Alexis before someone else does. Javi is sending a car to pick her up and bring her to the twelfth"

Rick could only nod as his wife slipped into the living room. Running a hand through Lily's dark hair, she forced a smile and reached for Emerson, lifting her granddaughter into her arms, squeezing her hard.

"We have to go back to work, guys. Papa's going to play with you though, and if you ask him nicely, he'll turn on a movie and let you go to sleep on the couch."

Rick watched her numbly, vaguely noting his father in law, tending to the now burning remains of dinner before turning to embrace his daughter. Kate allowed herself a moment in his arms, pulling away and slipping into Captain Beckett.

"I don't know when we'll be back Dad. You can put the girls in their room, or make them a bed on the living room floor, whatever gets them to sleep. The guest room is already made up if you get tired. Just order something for dinner, this is…"

"We'll be fine, Katie. Don't worry about us." He ran his fingers through Kate's dark waves, and looked sadly to Rick, still standing dumbfounded on the threshold of the living room. "Take care of Alexis. And each other. We'll be okay here."

Kate nodded and moved to the closet to pull out her jacket, suddenly cold despite the warm September night. "Rick. Castle we need to go."

He nodded wordlessly and followed the rigid frame of his wife from their home. Neither spoke, Kate clung to him in her small subtle ways, that told him of the magnitude of her emotions; her hand sought constant contact as they walked, and while she drove silently through the New York streets. She squeezed slightly, her nails piercing his skin as she struggled to maintain control, but the simple swipe of his thumb over hers, eased the pressure somewhat.

Rick Castle was blank. He heard nothing but a sense of ringing in his ears, felt nothing but the cool weight of Beckett's hand in his and the shock that coursed through his body. Surely, he was dreaming. He was going to wake up in his office chair with a twinge in his neck, and his daughter's fiancé charming Kate in the kitchen with talk of motorcycles and fast cars. How could this…"

"They walked in on a drug deal going south. Some strung out junkie looking for a fix with no cash. Brought a gun out to do the convincing for him, and just started shooting when patrol approached."

"What?" Castle blinked off the haze, awareness slamming into him like a train.

"You asked how," Kate's voice was clipped, and Rick could see the white knuckles of her hand, gripping the steering wheel fiercely.

"Okay."

She simply blinked and finally released his hand as she slipped the sedan into her designated space in the precinct garage. "Castle…"

"I'm okay, Kate. I'll be okay."

"Alexis…"

"…will be fine."

He shook his head in a struggle against his words, and tried again. "She won't be fine, but we'll get her through this. She'll be okay eventually, won't she?"

Kate shrugged sadly, and turned away, staring absently at a stain on the concrete floor. "I wouldn't be. I don't know how to help her be okay."

Heaving himself from the car, he rounded the back and hauled Kate roughly into his arms.

"We'll all be okay. We have each other and we will get our daughter through this the only way we know how. We just love her."

The tight reign of control snapped abruptly and Captain Beckett wilted into Kate as she began to sob freely.

"I don't know what I'd do…"

"You never have to find out, do you hear me. We never have to know because neither of us is going anywhere."

She nodded into his chest and sniffled softly. A car entered the garage behind them, and Kate braced herself once again, their leader, ready to support her troops. She smiled softly as Rick wiped her eyes with the soft pad of his thumb, and straightened her shoulders as they ventured towards the homicide floor.

The elevator doors pinged their arrival, and the partners steeled themselves as the stepped out to the silent and waiting team on the other side.

Castle wordlessly took her coat and bag, and watched as she approached her boys, her next in command.

"Status report."

"Warren is in surgery to remove a slug from his abdomen, no next of kin, wife died a few years back, but we're trying to track down a cousin from Jersey."

Ryan stepped in, a brief nod from Esposito giving him the floor. "Perp got a shot off before they even knew what they were walking in on. Officer Travis took a bullet to the thigh. Hit his femoral artery, according to Lanie. He bled out before the bus even got there."

Esposito stepped up once more. "LT and Parks went for Alexis. They'll notify and bring her in for details."

"I didn't authorize a notification," Beckett snapped.

"Cap, she's going to know as soon as two officers show up at school to bring her in. You really want her to hear it from you over the phone, or make her sit and wonder in the back of a patrol car until she gets here?"

Ryan's soft voice of reason deflated her anger, as the elevator chimed once again, and a flurry of motion captured her attention.

The bright trail of his daughter's hair, struck Rick before her body impacted his, and he stumbled back slightly as she wilted into his arms.

"Daddy," she keened. "Tell me they're wrong. He's not gone, is he? This is one of Matt's twisted jokes right? Sam's okay. Daddy, please tell me he's okay."

"I'm so sorry baby," Rick whispered, sinking to the floor as his little girl fell.

Her wails were the only sound on the floor, the officers, and detectives around them sharing her grief silently, at the loss of one of their own. Beckett stood tall, her fingers tangled in the young woman's sweat dampened hair, torn between her roles as mother and leader.

"Why don't we go in my office?"

Castle nodded, his eyes glistening and he stood slowly as pulled Alexis into a tight embrace, guiding her towards the already shuttered room, Kate trailing steadily behind.

"Give me a few, and I'll be back to debrief," he heard his wife address her team, the door snicking shut behind her.

"I don't understand," the young woman's unfocussed gaze tracked slowly around the room. "How is this real? Sam and I just had a lunch date a few hours ago. He was joking about the wedding plans. He told me he wanted a hot dog cart and an ice cream truck. It doesn't make any sense."

"I'm so sorry, Alexis," Beckett finally sat, nudging in on her step-daughter's vacant side, gripping her hand tightly in her own. "I'll tell you anything you'd like to know."

"Did it hurt?"

His eyes slammed shut at the hollow sound of his daughter's voice.

"He was shot in the leg. I'm not going to lie and tell you that it didn't hurt, but he died very quickly. There was nothing anyone could have done, and he didn't suffer for long. The pain only lasts for a second before everything just gets heavy and dark."

Rick jerked in his seat, he didn't want to remember what it felt like, lying on the floor of their home, life slowly leaking from their bodies as the darkness consumed them both. He didn't want to feel what Sam had felt as he lay dying in the grass. Digging his nails into his hands, he forced himself to control his ragged breaths, and opened his eyes to the understanding gold flecks mirrored back in his wife's.

Alexis nodded, staring vacantly into the open space before her, shock setting in deep. "Did they get the guy?"

"They did," Kate stated, still calm and collected despite the anxious tells Castle could still see radiating from her body in waves. "Sam shot him before he radioed for help. Medics treated the guy for a superficial gunshot wound to the hip, and he has been remanded into custody. He will be charged with first degree murder, assault with a deadly weapon, attempted murder, possession, and whatever else we can come up with. He's going away, Alexis, I promise you that."

"I wish he was dead."

"I know," Kate ran her fingers through the red mane, stringy and matted with the depth of her grief. "But death is too easy. It doesn't even the scales, it just gives one cowardly man a way out. He doesn't deserve a way out, he deserves to sit behind bars for the rest of his life, knowing that he destroyed people's lives."

Alexis nodded wordlessly, her gaze still stuck on nothing.

"Where is he now? Sam."

"Lanie has him sweetheart. She's taking good care of him, I promise."

"Can I see him?"

Rick tensed and reached protectively for his daughter, withering slightly when he caught his wife's warning glare.

"Of course you can see him. I can take you there myself, if you don't mind waiting for a while, or your father can take you over now."

The redhead nodded again, and slumped back against her father's chest as Kate rose and smoothed the fabric of her blazer, her wordless stare doing nothing to quell the anxiety rising up in Rick Castle at the thought of the young man laying in the cold morgue.

"I'm going to talk to my team, and check in on Officer Warren. The press is outside waiting for a statement."

When no response came, she simply turned and left the room.

"Did someone call his mom? Sam wanted her to make him an apple pie. Someone should tell her."

"Don't worry about anything else, Pumpkin. Kate and I will take care of it."

Rick nuzzled her hair, dropping silent barely there kisses against the crown of her head absently.

"Emerson is going to be so sad."

Rick swallowed the lump in his throat at the vacant sound of his daughter's voice, just as speaking her own child's name tugged her to awareness.

"Emerson, Oh God, Dad, where's Emmy? I forgot about Emerson."

"Alexis, hey," he tugged her back firmly, squeezing her tight as she struggled against his grasp. "Stop, sweetheart, Emmy is fine. She's fine."

As her slender body collapsed against him once more, shuddering with unshed emotion, Castle rocked her gently, attempting to soothe a pain he couldn't fathom.

"Emerson is at the loft right now with Papa and Lily. They're playing ponies and having a campout on the living room couch. He's got pizza and treats and Disney movies and the girls don't know a thing, okay?"

"She's just a baby, Dad. She won't remember…"

"She most certainly will," Castle's voice boomed sternly. "She will remember him, because we won't forget him, do you understand me?"

Alexis looked shocked at her father's outburst, but her shock seemed to abate somewhat, and she reached up to wipe at her nose with her sleeve.

Kate slipped back into the room, exhaling loudly as she shed the pressure of Captain behind the shaded windows.

"Can we see Sam tomorrow?" the young woman looked to her step-mother. "I just want to go home to my baby tonight. I'll be better tomorrow."

"Of course you can, Alexis. Lanie will be there with him all night, so he won't be alone. You can go any time you want to, your dad and I will take you."

She simply nodded and began to stand. "Do you have to stay here?"

Beckett couldn't even force a smile as she tugged the redhead into her arms for a gentle hug.

"Yeah. I've still got to do the press conference, and head over to the hospital. I should be there for Frank."

"Should I…"

"No, honey," Kate squeezed harder. "You let your dad take you back to the loft. You need to get some sleep."

"Okay."

"I'll be home as soon as I can. I promise."

"I'm just going to go wash my face before we go."

"Go ahead pumpkin," Rick kissed her forehead. "I'll be right here."

She walked out the door without comment, and Rick took the opportunity to tug his wife into the cove of his embrace.

"How are you holding up?"

"I'm not, can you tell?"

"Not even a bit. You're an Amazon."

Kate huffed out a watery laugh and buried her face in his broad chest.

"I don't know when I'll be home."

"I'll be back in a few hours. I'll get Alexis to bed and check in with your dad, but I'll be back."

"Alexis needs you, Rick. You need to go home with your daughter."

"She's going to pass out as soon as we get in the car, Kate. She's exhausted. My mother should be there now, I forgot to tell her dinner was off, and your dad most likely filled her in when she showed up. My phone went off earlier but I haven't checked it yet. Our parents will both be there for Alexis and the girls, you need someone to be here for you."

"Castle, no."

"This is the way it's going to be, Beckett. There's no sense arguing. I'm going home long enough to carry Alexis to bed, get you some coffee, and pick up some food for everyone, and then I'll be back here to hold your hand and give you someone to wipe your nose on when the door is closed."

"Gross," Kate muttered softly, stepping away from him with a small huff of a laugh. "I love you, you know that?"

"I do. I love you too."

"You need anything else?"

Beckett shook her head softly. "No, just…" she hesitated.

"Remember, Kate. We're not going anywhere." He smiled and drew her close again, kissing her forehead tenderly. "I'll be back soon. I'll get LT to drive us home, and get a cab back in later."

Releasing his hold and slipping from her embrace as his daughter approached the office slowly, he smiled to her, over his shoulder and winked, a silent affirmation, before guiding the wilting young woman to the elevators. He was right. Alexis would be asleep before they even left the parking garage. She would sleep hard, at least for tonight, grief keeping her mind anchored in unconsciousness for as long as possible.

Kate sighed and ran her hand through her hair, dropping to her chair to dig through her desk for her spare makeup bag, preparing herself for the grueling task of addressing the press clamoring outside for a scrap of information. She had one officer dead, another still not out of the woods, and a station filled with grieving and angry cops. Grief and anger were the natural chinks in the armor of even the most seasoned officers, and as their captain, she needed to ensure that their armor held strong if they were going to stay safe on the streets.

It was Ryan who called, from the hospital. Another officer lost to senseless violence.

Captain Beckett went through the motions of making statements, contacting the NYPD psychologists, and arranging for support for the detectives and officers under her command, as well as to schedule appointments to personally speak with the witnesses to the incident, and the perp himself. Finally, she contacted the families, to offer her condolences and support, before collapsing tiredly into her chair. The time was quickly broaching midnight, and the few detectives on the late shift were hunched over their desks, intent on their paperwork for an otherwise quiet shift. She noticed the pizza boxes, open on an empty desk and smiled, knowing her husband had sent them, to care for his family in blue the only way he knew how.

Kate picked up her phone and sent a quick text to her husband, letting him know she was on her way home, squeezing Karpowski's shoulder affectionately, as she moved into the bullpen.

"I'm going to go get a few hours before it all hits the fan in the morning. You'll call if you hear anything new?"

"Sure boss," Karpowski nodded, solemnly, following close behind her. At Kate's questioning glance, the woman blushed and offered a bashful shrug. "I need a smoke. I don't think tonight counts."

Kate shook her head in subdued amusement.

"I won't tell a soul."

She offered up a curt wave as the women parted ways in the parking garage, and dug for her keys.

"Hey Beckett."

Kate turned back.

"I'm sorry about Travis. I know he was family."

Kate felt the tears sting her eyes, and she nodded her acknowledgement before slipping behind the wheel of her car.

Her strangled grief - for her daughter, her granddaughter, her family at home and at the precinct, and for everything this city had taken from her - carried her all the way home, and she cried.

The loft was dark when she slipped inside, all its occupants tucked away safe. She shucked her jacket, tossing it on a nearby chair as she sought out her husband. She found him, asleep in his office chair, legs propped on the desk in front of him, snoring softly. Kate stopped for a moment, taking in his rumpled appearance, and the laptop open on the desk in front of him. He had probably passed out after making the various changes in his schedule, perhaps speaking with Meredith. It had been a brutally draining night, and Kate just wanted it to be over. She angrily tugged her shirt over her head, kicking the office door closed behind her, jarring her husband from his sleep.

His feet dropped from the desk as he startled, and she moved in on him, a tigress hunting her prey.

"Shit, I fell asleep."

"I don't care," her slacks slid down her toned legs, and puddled to the floor.

"What are you…"

She silenced him with the slick press of her tongue as she slid into his lap, her legs bracketing his in the supple leather.

"Can we just pretend tonight never happened? I just want to forget for a little while. Make me forget. Please."

Rick surged to his feet, his hands wrapped around her thighs, as he carried his wife towards their bedroom.

"I can't make you forget," he tugged her earlobe between his teeth, drawing out a strangled moan. "But I can show you what's still here to remember."


	24. Mother Knows Best

Hello again, my wondrous, beautiful readers. I can't get over all the wonderful comments I am receiving, and as always, I'm so very glad you are enjoying this little purge of my inner headcanon. I know, I totally suck at responding, and updating regularly, but in my defense, my house is a disaster, my kids are crazy, and I am freaking tired, 110% of the time. I intend to write, all the time, it's just the actual doing of the writing that is difficult. But, this story is my baby, and I am nothing if not persistent. I'm in it for the long haul, so if you can be patient with me, I'll keep eking out the time to churn them out.

I'd also like to address the guest who commented that I should have categorized the story as angst. I am going to have to respectfully disagree with you. This story is life. It's Castle. Castle wasn't a show about angst, there were moments of it, sure, but it helped shape the rest of the world, the characters and their character. I am in the camp of fans who believe Castle and Beckett deserve their happy ever after, and I'm attempting to make that happen the best way I envision. But to do it with endless fluff, zero conflict, no pain or sadness at times, would not only be disingenuous to their entire story, but to life in general. Life is messy. Sometimes it's fantastic, and sometimes it sucks harder than anything has ever sucked before. We keep going because of the good, because of the love and the connections and the happiness we know can be found when it doesn't suck. So, if anyone finds the occasional angst or tragedy, in the midst of life, unseemly, I invite you to pass on this particular piece of fanfic. To those who have commented, through their tears, that they are still with me, that they get it, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

* * *

"I love home," Kate sighed, her head hitting the couch cushion behind her, with a thunk. "Home is the best."

Chuckling, her husband approached her from behind and smacked an exaggerated kiss to her forehead. "Only when you're in it."

She tried to smirk, but she was just so damn tired, she couldn't muster up the will to flex those particular muscles, if she could even remember where they were. God, she was tired. She drifted in and out of sleep, the lull of the living room soothing her, despite the sounds of life around her. The grunting approach, and effort of a tiny body hauling herself up, beside her, drew a sigh from Kate's chest, and forced the nearest eye open a crack to peer at the visitor.

Kate sighed again, and stretched her legs with a groan, across the length of the chaise. She willed her head up, and smiled tiredly at the little girl beside her, perched on her knees with a critical frown across her pale features.

"Hey, baby girl. What's up?"

"What him doin, gamma?"

Kate grinned as the frown on her granddaughter's face deepened, and she reached out a free hand to run her fingers through the toddler's hair.

"Jakey's having his lunch, sweetheart."

"Him eating you?"

A laugh tore free, startling the dozing baby in her arms, and Kate hushed him apologetically, as he began to suckle again, in earnest.

"He's not eating me, Emmy, I promise." She drew Emerson further into her side, as the girl began to poke at the newborn's tiny feet. "He gets special milk, that only mommies can make for their babies. That's what he's doing right now. Drinking his milk."

Emerson grimaced, and shot a questioning look to her grandmother.

"Yuck."

Her mother's chuckle drew her away, as Alexis plopped to the cushions on her other side, and tugged the little redhead into her lap with a playful growl.

"What do you mean, yuck, monkey? What do you think you ate when you were tiny like the babies?"

"I ate gamma too?"

Kate laughed again, and tugged down her shirt, freeing the baby up to her shoulders for a burp and cuddle. She kissed his impossibly tiny head, her hand dwarfing the span of his back as she patted out the rhythm of a wordless lullaby.

"Silly girl," Alexis grinned, blowing raspberries into her daughter's neck as the girl giggled and writhed in her lap. "You got your milk from me, not grandma. And the babies aren't eating grandma. See, she's right there, all in one piece."

Kate grinned, and poked her tongue between her teeth in amusement, waggling her fingers at the still frowning toddler.

"It doesn't hurt, and it helps the babies grow big and strong. Babies are too small to have big kid food, like you and Lily, so sometimes grandma will feed the boys like that, and sometimes they'll have their milk from bottles. Maybe you can help mommy feed the babies a bottle when we let grandma and grandpa sleep a little."

"Oh God bless you," Castle groaned, barely allowing his wife the opportunity to pull her legs in, before he plopped to the newly vacated cushions, with an exaggerated whine, another tiny body snuffling in frustration against his father's chest. Lily followed along, ever Rick's shadow, still wordlessly staring in wonder at her new baby brothers. Unlike their granddaughter, their daughter was enchanted with the babies, no doubt dreaming of ways to dress them up and play with them, like the little dolls they appeared to be.

"Why are you so tired, old man?" Alexis teased. "They've been sprung for three days, all of which have been medically supervised, and you're not even the one who had to squeeze them out."

Kate laughed again, and poked Rick's side with her toes.

"They may look tiny, but they feel like pumpkins on the way out. And they never stop eating," Kate whined, with a huff. "I thought you ate a lot, Lily-bug, but these two are little monsters."

Their three year old. giggled at her father's side, and finally began to engage with her family, crawling up into Rick's lap to snuggle in close to her baby brother.

"Speaking of eating, this one is hungry."

"This one?" Kate smirked in amusement. "He has a name, you know."

"I am man enough to admit, that I have absolutely no idea which one of them is which, and I firmly believe you are just making it up every time you get hold of one of them."

"I'm not making it up," she dragged herself upright, mock indignation schooling her features. "I can totally tell them apart."

"Not even possible," Castle shook his head, winking at the giggling girl in his lap. "They are literally identical."

"Whatever, goofball," Kate poked at him with her toes again, allowing Alexis to pluck the sleeping baby from her shoulder. "Give me my Peanut Butter cup."

She leaned forward with a groan, her muscles still screaming in agony from the twenty-two hour labour she had endured a few short days ago. She slid her hands gently around the baby's head and bottom, and pulled him in close.

"Don't you listen to your silly daddy, sweet boy. I'd know you anywhere."

She kissed his head and his snuffling grew into a yelp of frustration, with his mother's nearness.

"You're going to have to tell me your secret, because I'm with Dad on this one. I've got no clue how to tell them apart."

Grinning, she reached under her shirt to unclasp her bra, drawing the baby close to latch. Emerson stilled beside Alexis, and the critical frown returned, as she worked out whether this new little boy was friend or enemy. Alexis shot Kate a silent eye-roll, and nudged the toddler to the floor, where she promptly forgot about babies, and returned to her puzzle.

"This is my Reese."

She stroked her finger across the silky cheek at her breast, as her son regarded her with rapidly fluttering eyelashes.

"He makes a face when he's hungry, Jake just jams his fist into his mouth."

Kate continued her dreamy gaze over her son…her son…she had sons. She squeezed him gently, as a wash of emotion rolled over her. Clearing her throat, to Rick's knowing smile, she continued.

"Reese's cry is more insistent. It's sharper than Jake's. Jake drags out his sounds. Also, Jake's belly button is rounder than Reese's. His is more of an oval. Of course, I can't really verify that one until their umbilical stumps fall off, but on first glance, that's what I got."

"Seriously, you expect me to buy that?" Castle teased. "Just subjective enough to be possible, but vague enough to be total BS you can slip past me."

"I was a detective for over a decade, Castle. I notice things. My skills are just more finely tuned than yours, obviously."

She poked her tongue between her teeth again, her shoulders drawing up with gleeful amusement.

"You do have mad skills."

Alexis scoffed, a look of half serious disgust towards her father. "Seriously, Dad. Children present. Lots of them. Most of them yours. Gross."

Kate laughed and rolled her eyes at her husband.

"My observation skills, pervert. And after the last few days it's going to be a good long while before you get to see any of my skills in action again."

"What? What did I do?"

"Two babies, Rick. Two of them. Two, always hungry, always fussing, never sleeping, babies, I spent twenty- two hours evacuating from my body. I feel places I didn't even know I had, I have bodily fluids, not all mine, all over me, and I'm pretty sure I haven't slept in five days. It's all very unpleasant."

Castle held his hands up in surrender.

"I give. You win. Babies are super gross, and a giant pain in the…everything."

"Hey," she scolded. "My babies are not gross, and not giant pains in anything. They're perfect and wonderful and they smell amazing."

She slipped Reese to her shoulder, and kissed his head, her sideways glare teasing.

"I'm just saying, we're in for a bumpy ride, the next few months. Zero sleep, tons of laundry, extremely limited shower opportunities and all the things we experienced with little miss, here, doubled."

Lily giggled again, and Rick tugged her up into his arms.

"Well then it's a good thing my little princess is practically perfect in every way."

"And, you're home now," Alexis remarked, cheerily. Always the optimist. "With two sleeping babies and a couple of little girls who were promised a Paw Patrol marathon with yours truly. Go, nap, shower, eat, whatever. I got this."

"Oh thank God," Kate sighed, breathily. She rose gingerly to her feet, and slipped the baby into the bassinet beside his twin. "You are the best human being ever, you know that?"

"Remind me to buy you a pony," Rick yawned, kissing his eldest daughter before planting a hand into his wife's back and nudging her towards their room.

"Be good for your sister," Kate whispered back, to no one in particular. She briefly regarded the scene around her; her family perched on the couch together, Alexis rocking the bassinet gently with her foot as the girls giggled at her sides. It almost made her want to go back and curl up with them, she just loved them all so much.

A miniscule sneeze sounded from the bassinet, and Kate launched herself into motion, crossing the remaining distance to her room with long strides. She was getting out, while the getting was good. Castle was already sacked out on the bed, as she nudged the door closed with her hip. One leg hanging off the bed, like he hadn't quite made it all the way before he just gave up and fell.

She rolled her eyes, and dropped to the bed beside him. She never even made it under the covers.


	25. Whose Side is it Anyway?

Sorry again for the delay. I went back to work and I am quite literally without a single moment of spare time these days. But this one has been poking around in my brain for weeks and I need to sleep again, so here it is. ;) It's a shorty, but I hope you enjoy it.

* * *

"What do you think you're doing?"

He glanced up from the dog-eared pages of the book he'd plucked off her nightstand at her incredulous look from the doorway of her bathroom. She was beautiful, all wide eyed and gaping, the hem of her nightshirt brushing the tops of her thighs, toothbrush paused mid-stroke as she prepared for bed.

"Pride and Prejudice, Beckett?" Castle grinned from the bed, waving the book in the air like a taunt. "Nothing like a little romance novel before bed."

"Its Jane Austen, Castle, not Twilight," she scoffed, pulling the toothbrush from her mouth, her eyes squinting into a glare.

He had the sense to place the book down and shoot her a soft look of apology, and for a moment, she almost let it go, he looked so unsure of his place in her bed for the first time.

"That's my side of the bed."

The apology slipped from his face, replaced instead by a thrilled sense of indignation. Gone was the hesitation left over from their first night together, and an annoyed Beckett was one he could handle.

"I sleep on the right side, Beckett. I think we established that last night."

He quirked an eyebrow and grinned that self satisfied smirk that fueled the simmering embers of an argument in Kate. He was egging her on, she knew it, yet she couldn't stop herself from engaging. She just wanted to wipe that bloody smirk off his face.

"We also established that you sleep upside down, and on the floor. That can easily become your spot."

"Touche, detective. That however, doesn't change the fact that I have slept on the right side of the bed for the past…ever."

The smirk remained.

"In case you haven't noticed, Mr. clearly not a detective, my book is on the right nightstand. There's a glass of water on the right nightstand, and if you open that little drawer there, you will see, my birth control pills. On the right."

"As much as I'd like to get into your drawers right now," he waggled his eyebrows suggestively, "it doesn't change the facts. Clearly we are at an impasse."

"It's not an impasse, Castle. It's my bed."

Kate tossed out her own smirk as she turned and slipped back into the bathroom. He heard her spit and rinse her brush before flicking off the lights and striding with determination, back to the bedside.

"So how do we determine the true master of the right side of the bed, Beckett?" Castle crossed his arms and leaned back, a pillow tucked neatly behind his shoulders, daring her to fight back.

"That's an easy one, Castle."

She bent over his settled form, face only inches from his, the deep vee of her nightshirt drooping to give him a complete view of her naked skin beneath. His eyes fought to maintain contact with hers, but he was, after all, a mere mortal, and he couldn't help the downward shift to catch sight of what lay hidden beneath the layers of fabric.

Kate grinned her own self satisfied smirk, trailing her finger down the creamy skin of her neck, towards the valley between her half exposed breasts.

"I can think of one or two very good arguments."

Castle hummed his agreement, a deep rumbling sound as he nodded his head unconsciously, his gaze still fixed on the motion of the detective's finger.

"Very good."

Rolling her eyes at Castle's sudden loss of coherent vocabulary, she continued her tease, the addition of her bedroom voice having the desired effect on her partner's will.

"Do you want me to show you all my very good arguments, Rick?"

The stare never wavered as he continued to bob his head.

"I thought you might."

Castle gulped with anticipation as her finger dipped below the fabric, and without warning, Kate shot to full height.

"You ever want to see them again you'll move over."

"Kaaaate," he whined. "That's so not fair."

"All's fair in love and war," she taunted, nudging his thighs with her drawn up knee. "Now get on your own side of the bed. I'm tired."

"You're mean, you know that?" he continued to grouse, shifting himself over to the far side of the bed, as she slipped in beside him, grinning victoriously over her shoulder as she curled up.

Sighing with exaggerated defeat, he pulled her body back into the cove of his own, fitting himself around her. She settled instantly, the events of the day slipping from her, her body boneless and pliant, and she released a sigh of her own; relief and comfort within his arms. Twining her fingers with his, Kate drew their joined hands to her lips and kissed his knuckles tenderly before drawing them close to her body.

Castle hummed his contentment into her neck and let his eyes slide closed, his own exhaustion taking over.

"This is nice."

A kiss to her head in unspoken agreement, "Maybe the left side isn't so bad after all."

Untwining their fingers, Rick moved his arm down her torso to settle across her midsection, leaving them close, but able to move freely when one of them inevitably shifted within the night.

"Think of all the times you can _accidentally_ touch my boobs from that side," Kate teased him, sleepily.

"You're right," he gentled a final kiss to her head. "Best. Side. Ever."


	26. All the Pretty Lights

"There you are," his voice broke on a jaw snapping yawn as he emerged from the darkness of the bedroom, scratching his head. "What are my girls doing out here in the dark?"

Kate smiled warmly from the sofa, their newborn daughter cradled in her arms. Rick lifted her feet from the cushions, replacing them in his lap when he settled in beside them, taking in the baby's blinking eyes, at the twinkling lights of the tree.

"Sorry if we woke you. Lil was hungry, and I thought we'd both fall asleep again if we lay down on the couch instead of in the rocker."

"I see your plans were thwarted." He reached a finger out and caressed their daughter's palm, her hand clamping firmly around the digit, almost as big as her hand itself.

"Eh, I don't mind. She's completely mesmerized."

Lily's tiny pink tongue worked in and out of her rosebud mouth, testing her control as she focussed steadily on the Christmas tree and Kate returned her focus to the baby.

"She looks like she's trying so hard to say something. She's so much like you right now, it's actually kind of scary."

"It's because we're so good looking, Tiger, isn't it?"

Beckett rolled her eyes and shifted slightly into his arms, the baby between them both.

"She's just sitting here, quietly observing. She's not flailing her arms around like she does when she's excited about something, or making those little noises like she does when it sounds like she's trying to figure something out, she's just watching the tree, taking it all in."

"There's something to be said for quiet observation, isn't there baby girl? Good things come to a skilled observer."

Kate laughed softly, tearing the baby's attention from the tree, to her mother's face, and she drew her cheeks up into a toothless smile.

"Daddy's funny, isn't he Lily bug? Mommy's with you on this one. The tree is very pretty."

"Pretty, Beckett? The tree is pretty?" her husband scoffed. "I'm sure Lily and I could come up with a hundred ways to describe this tree, and pretty is way down there at the bottom of the list."

"I hate to break it to you babe, but she's only four weeks old, you're going to be stuck with pretty for a good long while before she can write prose about the ephemeral beauty of a Christmas tree."

"I love it when you talk dirty."

Kate laughed again and poked her toes into his thigh.

"You're a dork."

Castle grinned and ran his finger along the bottom of her socked foot, drawing a soft squeak from her mouth.

"No tickling. It's 3 am, and you're going to make me drop the baby."

His retort was forgotten amid another wide yawn, and his wife poked her toes into his thighs once again, gently nudging him away.

"Go back to bed, babe. It'll be morning soon."

"Only if you come with me."

Kate sighed and glanced to her daughter, her interest returned to the lights of the tree.

"She can't possibly last much longer, can she? I think this is the longest she's been awake since she was born."

"She'll sleep soon. Just bring her with us, you can sleep feed, or whatever the heck it's called."

"Dream feeding, Castle, and it only counts if the baby is already asleep, hence the dream part."

"Yeah, but your boobs are magic, they always put her to sleep."

"Uh huh," Kate rolled her eyes and rose gracefully from the sofa. "Well, they failed in their mission tonight."

"I have complete faith in them. They'll get it right this time."

"Why are we having a conversation about my boobs in the middle of the night? Why are we having a conversation about my boobs at all, actually?"

"Because your boobs are fascinating," he gave her an incredulous look. "Why wouldn't we talk about them?"

"Oh my God, you need sleep. I think you're delirious."

"But, Kaaaate," her husband whined. "I don't want to sleep all by myself. It's cold and dark in there, and it's Christmas eve."

Lily cooed and jammed a tiny fist into her mouth.

"See, the baby agrees with me."

"You say that when she burps. Not everything she does is agreeing with you."

"Well, until she starts talking, you can't prove anything."

Kate huffed out a mildly annoyed breath.

"Fine, we'll come with you, but only because if you don't go to sleep soon, I'm going to shove one of her pacifiers in your mouth."

"That's the Christmas spirit, I was looking for," Castle grinned.

"Move, Castle. Now."

Rick pecked her lips with a gentle kiss, and swept the baby from her arms, settling her tiny body against his broad shoulder, murmuring as he strode back towards the bedroom.

"God, help me," Kate sighed again, a bright smile overtaking her features as she shook her head amusedly.

They were already in bed as she entered the room, and Rick patted her side of the bed, waggling his eyebrows suggestively.

"Yeah, not happening, stud. There's a tiny person in our bed, and all the money in the world couldn't pay for that therapy."

"Ew, Beckett. Seriously. Just, ew."

"You're the one who…," she huffed again, and slid into bed. "You know what, never mind."

Adjusting the pillows behind her back, she drew the baby to her chest, and settled on her side. Lily grunted softly, and Castle raised his eyebrows in a wordless 'I told you so.'

"Shut up."

"I didn't say a word."

Kate unbuttoned her sleep shirt and Lily latched on, nursing lazily as her eyes began to droop.

Reaching over, Castle tucked them both in, brushing an errant strand of hair from her cheek as she finally lay her head back down on her pillow. Kate smiled her thanks and sighed happily. He kissed his wife and daughter both and lay down to meet Kate's sleepy gaze.

"I love you."

"I love you too, baby."

"I love it when you call me baby."

"Castle go to sleep. I'm tired."

He grinned in the darkness, thrilled with the happily annoyed tone of her voice, and closed his eyes.

"Merry Christmas Eve, Rick."


	27. Satisfaction

**As always, I love all of you amazing readers and I'm so glad you're enjoying this. Your comments are so kind, and I wish I could respond to you all.**

 **Enjoy!**

 **J**

 **This chapter is definitely rated M. :)**

* * *

"You're not seriously brooding over this," she quirked an eyebrow as she sauntered from the bathroom, still gloriously naked. "It's not a big deal. Okay?"

Kate slid into bed beside him, curling her arms around the thick curve of his bicep. The furrow in his brow remained, despite his attempt at a smile to convince her, and she huffed out a sigh, pinching his forearm gently.

"You're being completely ridiculous."

Castle grunted in dissatisfaction, removing his arm from her grasp, banding around her slender frame to pull her close to his side. Kate let him tug her down the bed, smiling as she snuggled in to rest her head on his chest, his heartbeat strong against her ear. It was, quite possibly, her favourite sound ever. Aside from those glorious moans she had managed to draw from his lips a great deal over the past few weeks.

Kate Beckett was fifteen days into her mandated suspension, and they had barely made it out of bed in that time. Making up for lost time, Castle had joked, but the truth was, they simply couldn't get enough of each other. With Alexis and Martha in Europe, they were free and clear to spend every moment fulfilling the fantasies, they had harboured over the previous years, both sexually, and intimately.

Kate secretly loved the quiet moments she languished in bed, watching him write, fingers clicking away at the keys, sheets draped over his naked hips. Castle loved pretending to read on her sofa, as he watched her putter around her apartment, tight shorts covering the curve of her ass, and hair in a messy bun, as she tidied her place, or threw on a load of laundry. Even the more R rated fantasies were still on the vanilla side, as they discovered each other. Castle's desk had been checked off the list on day three, his obscenely elegant shower, her luxurious soaker tub, the bookshelves in his office, and her kitchen counters were ticked off throughout the subsequent week. Barely a surface in either apartment had been unchristened by the new couple. Now, they were settling in, and the first stumble had apparently occurred.

Kate rolled her eyes, and propped herself on her elbow, looking down at him, half amused.

"Why does this bother you so much? If it doesn't bother me, you shouldn't even be thinking about it."

Castle huffed again, and rolled to his side, meeting her eyes, as he reached up to brush a stray lock of hair from her face.

"You didn't finish, Kate."

"What are we, in grade school?" she grinned and kissed the knuckles of his outstretched hand. "So I didn't have an orgasm. It happens."

"Not to me," he grumbled again, flopping to his back as he tossed his arm over his eyes.

"Are you bringing your previous sexual conquests into our bed, Rick Castle, because I will…"

"Sorry, forget it, I'm sorry."

"Even you can't have a big enough ego to really believe that. Every single time? Please," she scoffed, reaching out to twine their fingers together. "How many actresses have you slept with, anyway?"

"No one has ever complained about my skills in the naked department, if that's what you're asking."

"I wasn't asking, actually," she shook her head, "and I don't remember complaining either. This is all you."

"I don't want you to be unsatisfied, Beckett. Bad sex is a killer of relationships. I don't want you to get bored with our sex life before it even gets good."

Kate tossed her head back, barking out a laugh. At his dismal glance, she took pity on him, covering her smirk with the back of her free hand.

"You are certifiably insane, you know that right?"

"Don't make fun, Beckett. You don't get it."

"Actually, love," she leaned forward to kiss his cheek softly, "you are the one who doesn't seem to be getting it. I love you. I love us in bed, no matter what we're doing, and just because I don't come, once in a while, doesn't mean I'm not completely satisfied with our sex life."

"How can that possibly be satisfying? Getting all worked up to be denied. Believe me, I know how much that sucks."

"I'll let you in on a little secret, Castle," Kate ran her fingers through his hair tenderly, "women's bodies are weird sometimes. Mine included. Sometimes it takes a few minutes, sometimes it takes longer, sometimes I'll let you know exactly what I need from you, and sometimes, it's not going to happen no matter what you do. Would you rather I fake it, like all your actresses?"

"What? No," he had the good sense to look chastened, as he finally loosened up a fraction, and brought her hand to his lips, tracing her knuckles over the reddened skin of his lips. "I just want it to be good for you Kate. That's not hard to understand, is it?"

"Of course not," her tone softened slightly, and she graced him with the love in her smile. "We've waited so long for this, though, Rick. It's always good when we're together."

He remained doubtful, the furrow in his brow attesting to his lack of understanding. With her words failing her, she slung a leg over his hip, settling astride his prone hips.

"I love you, that changes sex. I didn't know that before now."

The thick curtain of her hair grazed his naked chest, as she leaned down to kiss him softly.

"When you put your hands on me, I'm satisfied."

Drawing his hands to her waist, she set them in place on her hips, and continued.

"When you set me on fire with your mouth on my skin, I'm satisfied."

She kissed the sensitive skin under his jaw.

"When you moan, for me, I'm satisfied."

Castle gulped as she feathered her fingertips over the skin of his chest.

"When you're above me, looking into my eyes, I'm satisfied."

"When we make love, I'm more than satisfied."

She kissed his chest, above the pounding rhythm of his heartbeat, and draped herself around him, taking him in with a soft exhale of pleasure.

"We feel incredible, Rick. No matter what, just being together this way, the way you love me, is better than anything I've ever had before. It's not always about the finish line, anymore."

Grasping her hips, in his broad hands, he surged upwards, rolling her underneath him as he began to move slowly.

"You're good with words, Beckett. Have I ever told you that?"

Kate smiled and gasped out a barely audible chuckle.

"You must have rubbed off on me."

"My favourite past-time."

"You need to shut up and kiss me now."

"Yes, ma'am."

Their grins met in a tender kiss, their bodies twined together as they moved, a gentle dance they perfected a little more every day.

She cursed under her breath when he took her earlobe between his teeth, and dug her nails into the tight curves of his ass. He took her mouth, in another bruising kiss, and she keened softly when his rhythm began to stutter.

Deeper.

Faster.

More.

His hand in hers, she guided them down the sweat dampened skin of her belly.

"Touch me, Rick. Please."

Castle groaned with pleasure, so close now, and traced her swollen flesh with the calloused pad of a thumb, the thick fingers of his free hand tangling in her hair, drawing her to his kiss once again.

The arching of her spine beneath him spurred him on, and the gasping cries of her release as she trembled around him, pulled him with her.

His hips rocked slowly between hers, chasing the last waves of pleasure, as their panting breath evened out, and their kisses turned languid.

Satisfied.

Kate hummed and ran her fingers along the length of Rick's spine, caressing his damp skin until he finally groaned and rolled to the side, taking the sheet with him.

"Hey!"

"I'm enjoying the view, leave me alone."

"The AC is on Castle, it's cold in here. Share."

"I wanna cuddle. Don't be the man in this relationship."

Rolling her eyes, she shifted closer, throwing a leg over his outstretched thigh and settling in under his arm.

They were silent for a few moments, content to be in each others' arms, one of the few situations Rick Castle didn't need words.

Kate sighed happily, the pinpricks of innocent pleasure licking her skin, as her partner grazed her sides with the thick pads of his fingers.

"Are you petting me?"

"Are you complaining?"

"I haven't uttered a single word of complaint today."

"I've redeemed myself. It's all good."

"I'm not sure if it would be more satisfying to shoot you, or to kill you with my bare hands."

He pinched her ass, gently, and kissed her forehead in wordless apology.

"I need you to listen to me, seriously, okay?" Kate pulled away and sat up, dragging the sheet across the front of her body.

"I don't want to be worried about your ego every time we have sex. I don't want to stress out about having countless orgasms just to make you feel good about yourself. I want to do exactly what we've been doing, Rick. Do you understand that?"

"I do, and you don't have to worry about me or my ego. I promise."

He tugged her back to his side, and she unfolded with a slightly graceless thud against the mattress.

"I need to know you understand, Castle."

"I'm working on it, Kate. Just keep showing me, and I'll get it eventually."

"I always feel good when I'm with you. No matter what. No one else has ever cared more about my pleasure before, so I learned what I need a very long time ago. I'm not lying to you when I say that sometimes I really don't need the orgasm."

"I will never understand that. That's like watching a Japanese movie with Russian subtitles. I'm lost."

"Well then it's a good thing I know Russian."

"So hot."

"There has never been a single time we have been together, that you haven't done the job at least once. Sometimes, that's enough for me."

Castle grunted softly, dismissively, pulling a tiny smile to Kate's lips. She leaned up and kissed him tenderly.

"You're enough for me, Castle. More than enough. I think that's the real issue here."

"Enlighten me, Dr. Beckett."

"I'm in love with you Rick."

Her words stilled him into silence.

"I haven't been quiet about loving you, you already know that, but maybe I haven't been clear enough about what that means."

When he didn't speak, she smiled, and traced his lips with her fingertip.

"I'm in love with you and even when the sex isn't mind blowing, or we have five minutes to spare some nights, I'm still in love with you, and that will keep me coming back to you, every single time."

"Promise?"

"Always."

His retort was halted by the deep yawn, and Kate laughed softly as she continued to trace the lines on his face.

"Did I wear you out, baby?"

"Did you just call me baby?"

"I don't think so," she grinned. "You must be tired, you're hearing things."

"Maybe we should take a little siesta. I'm not too proud to admit that you are most definitely wearing me out. And if you'd like to wear me out some more, later, I'm going to need to recharge the batteries a bit."

"I have plenty of battery operated things that can take care of that if you're too tired, later."

"Har har, you're a funny lady, Beckett."

Kate laughed and poked her tongue between her teeth, enjoying their new banter.

"Don't worry about it, stud, I'm a bit worn out myself. Someone kept me up past my bedtime."

"Well then snuggle in sweetheart. I'll tell you a bedtime story."

His jaw cracked on another yawn, and she laughed again.

"I think you should close your eyes now, before you hurt yourself."

"You don't mind?"

"I told you Rick, if I minded, you'd know it. I'll sleep too, I promise."

"'kay."

His eyes were already closed, and Kate drew the sheets around them both, releasing a deep sigh as she prepared to follow him.

"Hey Beckett, I forgot to tell you something."

"Mmmm, what's that."

"I'm in love with you too."


	28. Unconventional

"Okay ladies, ready to create the most epic Mother's Day celebration ever?"

Lily giggled, tumbling her way off the couch, her little feet pounding across the floor, towards her father. Emerson peered curiously over the side of the couch, little red pigtails tousled from her morning nap.

"Mommy day?" she mumbled around the pacifier clenched between her teeth.

"Where did you find that, little monkey?" Rick sighed, lifting his daughter into his arms, as he advanced on the retreating form of his granddaughter. "No more sucky-things, Emmy-Lou. You're two now, too big for suckies."

"Mine sucky," Emerson glared, shoving the pacifier between the cushions of the sofa. "No take."

Castle stilled at the whisper of his daughter's warning, in his ear, and changed his approach, tossing the three-year-old gently to the couch, where Emerson began to giggle.

"It disappeared Tiger-Lily. It's a magic sucky."

"It didn't disappear, Daddy," his daughter giggled, rolling her eyes in his direction. "It's…"

A sharp staccato on the door captured his attention and he turned towards the sound.

"Hold that thought, my girl. We have a visitor."

He swung the door open, with a flourish, earning a giggle from the toddlers behind him, and his breath momentarily caught in his throat.

"Meredith?"

She wafted into the loft on her own invitation, the overwhelming floral of her perfuming following along behind.

"Hello, Richard. It is dreadfully hot in this city, I don't know how you can stand it."

"You live in LA, Meredith," he countered, in exasperation, as she dropped her bags to the floor beside the kitchen counter. "By all means, make yourself at home."

"Done some redecorating, have we? I really should give you the name of a dear friend, she could do wonders with this space."

"We haven't redecorated anything, Meredith," he sighed, a hand running down his face in frustration. "It's exactly the same as it was the last time you were here, which was how long ago? Five years?"

"Don't be dramatic, Richard, it doesn't suit you. I've been busy, you know; a miniseries here, a sitcom or two there."

Castle sighed again, as Meredith's attention was captured by the small girls watching her curiously from the couch, hands clutched together as if in solidarity for this boisterous interloper.

"Well, hello there?" Meredith cooed as she approached the sofa. Lily looked briefly to her father, who offered up a strained smile, while Emerson simply popped her pacifier back into her mouth. "Aren't you two just the most precious things ever. I didn't realize Kate was so prolific in the childbearing department, Richard. Alexis didn't tell me you had another little one."

"Actually Meredith, our boys aren't due for another few weeks at least, and I would hardly call three kids, prolific." He wasn't sure, at that point, if his ex wife even warranted his anger anymore. It wasn't like it affected her in the least, and he heaved out another great sigh at the levels she managed to raise his aggravation.

Meredith simply returned her tight lipped, passive aggressive smile, and approached the toddlers further. "Aren't you going to introduce me to your little family, Richard?"

"If I do, will you tell me why you're here, and then go do whatever it is somewhere else?"

The redhead waved a hand, in silent dismissal, and crouched down to scrutinize the children in front of her.

"Fine, Meredith," he quickly strode to the back of the couch, a hand on the back of Lily's tiny head as she lifted her gaze to him. "This is my daughter, Lily."

"Well, hello, Lily. You are just the spitting image of your mother, aren't you?"

The three-year old returned her gaze to her father, unsure of how to respond.

"You bet, all Kate."

"And you must have inherited the Martha Rogers half of the genes," she cooed to Emerson. "She looks nothing like either one of you."

"And ew," Castle shuddered, as Emerson and Lily shared a silent look of confusion. If he had his phone on him, he'd take their picture and send it to Kate, captioned 'WTF'. "Emerson, as I'm sure Alexis has mentioned multiple times, belongs to your daughter. Maybe if you called more than once or twice a year, you'd remember her a little better."

"Oh, of course," Meredith cooed once again, oblivious to the hostile tone creeping into the baritone of his voice. "I didn't realize she'd be here with you, that's all."

"This is her home. She and Alexis live here with us, how do you not know that?"

The hostility was rapidly approaching anger. Rick Castle had long ago, accepted the fact that the woman who gave him his first daughter, was never going to be mother material, but the fact that she couldn't even bother to retain information, maddened him intensely, on his daughter's behalf. Alexis didn't appear to be upset by her mother's disinterest, she had long ago come to expect that Meredith could only do Meredith. They had fun when they were together, but she was more like a crazy aunt, than a mother. It spoke volumes to the level of commitment the actress had to her only child. If she couldn't remember significant details, it was clear that the majority of the conversations held with Alexis were extremely one sided, another fact which did not invoke surprise in the author. She was, after all, her own favorite topic.

The flames of his ire were quickly doused at the sound of the opening door, and grunting sounds of his firstborn, as she unceremoniously dropped her reusable shopping bags to the floor.

"Okay, Dad, there is no reason that party supplies should weigh this…Mom." Alexis was stunned into momentary silence as she caught sight of the woman in the living room.

"Hello, darling," Meredith slipped on her most dramatic voice, as if it were a well worn pair of jeans. "You just look so wonderful." Gripping Alexis by the shoulders, she slipped dainty air kisses aside each of her daughter's cheeks.

"What are you doing here?" Alexis asked, clearly baffled. "You never told me you were coming to New York."

"Surprise!" the actress clapped, enthusiastically. "I'm in town for an audition, and since it's Mother's Day, I thought we could go to brunch, and do some shopping on 5th Avenue. It's been forever since I've been there."

Rick bent to gather the little girls in his arms, pulling each one to his hip as they watched the scene before them with wide eyes. They were used to Martha's theatrics, but his mother had a gentler touch with the toddlers. Her dramatics generally included them, talking to them, rather than at them. She'd wink, or bop noses amid her grand statements, drawing out the giggles that inspired them to follow her around the loft whenever she visited. This stranger in their living room was something they had never encountered before, and they were clearly unsettled.

"Mom, I can't just go on a spur of the moment adventure with you, today. I have plans."

"Nonsense, darling. We never get to see each other, don't you want to spend time with your mother, especially on Mother's Day?" the actress pouted. Their daughter was clearly unaffected, Rick wasn't sure if it was just the breaking point in her relationship with her mother, or the fact that she was a mother herself, and learning the ropes of staring down the whining.

"If you had called, I would have told you that I had plans this weekend, and I would love to spend a day with you on Monday, but you didn't call, and I'm not changing my plans."

"Oh pooh," Meredith continued the pouting scene, unaware that she was losing her audience. "What plans are so important, that you blow off your own mother."

Alexis narrowed her eyes, never taking her gaze off her mother as Emerson leaned from Castle's arms, into those of her mother. Wordlessly, Alexis drew the little girl into her chest, and Emerson sucked steadily on the pacifier, waiting for something to happen.

"I'm spending Mother's Day with my family, Mom; with my daughter. Have you even met your granddaughter, yet?"

"Oh darling," the older woman grimaced slightly, shaking her head in distaste. "I am entirely too young to be a grandmother. She can call me Auntie Mer. I have a reputation to protect, in this industry, after all."

"Okay, we're going to curb this conversation for a few minutes before I get really pissed off."

Pride exploded in his chest, like fireworks, as his little girl finally stood up for herself; for all the hurts and disappointments she had faced at the hands of a woman too involved in her own life, to be involved in anyone else's.

"Where did you get this silly thing, Emmy-Lou," Alexis sidestepped her gaping mother and moved to the living room, bouncing her giggling toddler on her hip. "Did you sweet talk your grandpa again?"

"Hey now," Castle recovered quickly, setting Lily on her feet to chase after her sister. "She's got them hoarded away in little hidey holes. I have no clue where she got it from. I threw them all in the trash when you told me to."

"Dad," Alexis scolded, at Emerson's half horrified look. "They were taken away by fairies, to other babies who don't have suckies," she glared.

"Right," he wrinkled his nose, cursing himself under his breath. "I totally forgot those fairies came. I must have been writing."

"No tash?" Emerson eyed her mother, warily.

"Of course, no trash, baby. You helped so many babies with all your old suckies. You're such a sweet girl."

The toddler appeared unconvinced, but the swinging of the door, once again caught her attention, and the little girls both went running.

Kate let out an unceremonious 'oof', as the two whirlwinds collided with her thighs, dual shouts of 'mommy' and 'gamma' ringing through the space.

"Well hello there, my sweethearts."

Lily patted a tiny hand against the encompassing roundness of her mother's belly, a silent greeting for her brothers, before skipping back to a puzzle she had spread across the floor. Emerson remained at her grandmother's side, and as Kate took in the scene around her, Rick watched her muscles tense. She crouched down, gracefully, despite the large swell of her belly, and pulled the tiny redhead into her arms, protectively, as Emerson slung her arms around her neck.

Kate kissed her cheek gently, and whispered nonsense words into her ears, making the little girl giggle, and hold on tighter to her grandmother's neck. She approached Meredith with a smile, just as plastered on as the actress, for entirely different reasons.

"Meredith, it's so great to see you again."

"Oh my, look at you," the actress gushed. "You look just about ready to burst."

 _Shots fired,_ Rick winced.

"Well, there are two of them in there. We went all out when Lily asked for a baby brother."

 _And the return volley._

"Of course. You do look radiant, though. You're almost all baby, too. Just a few months and you'll have those extra pounds gone in a flash. That's fantastic."

 _Ouch. The cannons are out._

Castle's internal commentary was cringing in anticipation of his wife's response. Ever the diplomat, Kate simply smiled, kissed Emerson's head once again, before handing the little girl off to Alexis, with a smile, and a hand on the young woman's shoulder in silent support before turning back to Meredith. She wanted so very badly to physically wipe the shit eating grin from the redhead's face, but she settled for her superior skills in the takedown.

"A few extra pounds are worth healthy and safe babies. I'd gain a hundred for any one of these children."

Rick felt bad for his ex-wife, however momentary, as the shots apparently hit their intended target. She recovered quickly, brushing off the comment with a chuckle and nod before abandoning Kate to once again, engage with the attentive audience she found with her daughter.

"She's beautiful, Alexis," Meredith finally spoke, reaching out to run a finger through Emerson's tiny pigtail. "She looks just like you did when you were that age."

Emerson grunted and slid her way down Alexis's lithe body, bounding away to her safe space with Lily.

Alexis nodded, and watched her daughter play, wistfully. "She's pretty amazing."

"Come out with me, Alexis. Emerson will be here when you get home. You can have dinner together."

Nostrils flared in indignation, and Alexis stood to full height, staring her mother in the eyes.

"I. Have. Plans. Does it not occur to you that Mother's Day isn't just about you anymore? Dad made arrangements for Kate and I, and the girls at a mommy and me spa."

"So you're spending the day with Kate, then?"

"I'm spending the day with my little girl, my little sister, and the rest of my family. Don't make it sound so spiteful."

Kate advanced towards Rick silently, tucking herself under his arm, ready to jump in if Alexis needed her. The young woman was doing a hell of a job, her stepmother marvelled, proudly. Rick dropped his free hand to her belly, and kissed her silently on the head, as they watched the scene unfold before them.

"Well, I'll just go with you today. I haven't been pampered in a while, anyway. I'm not sure how you expect to do any relaxing at all with a spa full of little girls, but it will have to do." Meredith settled onto the sofa, grimacing as she pulled a well loved stuffed elephant from behind her. She regarded it with mild disgust, the ears were soggy from Emerson's tight grip as she sucked her thumb, and subsequently drooled, two-year molars were hell for the tiny girl, and her stuffy paid the price.

Alexis was pacing, clearly struggling with the words she wanted to express, and Emerson stood in the middle of the living room, staring with trepidation at her stuffed animal and the garish woman handling it.

"Come see Grandma, sweetheart," Kate called out to her softly, slipping from Rick's grasp, arms outstretched towards the toddler.

Emerson flew to her side, and wrapped her arms around her grandmother's neck, resting her chin on Kate's shoulder as she continued to watch Meredith from the corner of her eye.

"My Ellie, Gamma."

"She calls you Grandma?" Meredith noted, handing Kate the stuffed animal. "Isn't that quaint, although I suppose you have the advantage of playing house with my daughter."

"It's not a competition, Meredith," Rick finally stepped in, his anger returning. "Alexis is here, because this is her home, and she needed her family."

"Enough," Alexis bellowed, startling all the room's occupants. Lily, growing agitated by the shouting, advanced on her father, wrapping her arms around his leg for comfort.

"That's enough, everyone."

The young woman sighed, with exhaustion, and separated herself from the cluster in the living room.

"Mom, I love you, I always will, and you'll always be my mother, but you left me, in every way imaginable. You weren't here when I needed you. You missed birthdays, and graduations, you missed the first two years of my daughter's life, you never even came when my fiancé died. You have a life in LA, and it's not a life that includes being a part of a family."

Meredith watched silently, her face a mask, concealing the effect the young woman's words had.

"I needed my mom for so many things in my life, and I got used to Dad being the one to fill that spot. It didn't bother me when you weren't here for things, I knew that's who you were, and it had nothing to do with me. But Kate's been here, mom, for so much longer than she's been Dad's wife."

Rick hefted his youngest daughter to his hip, once again, and Kate curled herself back into his embrace, fighting back the emotions, Alexis' words invoked.

"Kate's helped me study for exams, she took care of me when I was pregnant and sick with a ridiculous cold. She held my hand every time I freaked out about being a good mom. She stayed with me through my entire labour. She and Dad watched Emerson every day for Sam and I, when I went back to work. They took us in when we lost him, and they love my little girl like they love me and Lily. While you were in LA, living your life, Kate's been here, being a mother. She never asked for anything, and she put up with a lot of shitty behaviour from me sometimes, but she's never given up on me."

Tears streamed freely down her cheeks, and Kate rested a cheek against her granddaughter's silky head.

"Kate's never going to take your place, mom, but that doesn't mean I can't love her for being here for me and my family, what you can't."

Meredith had the good sense to appear chastened by her daughter's verbal release.

"I know I haven't been there for you, Alexis, and while I wish that I could have been a different person for you, I know you've been better off without me here."

"Mom, that's not…"

"Just listen, Alexis," her mother interrupted. "So much like your father."

"I never wanted to hurt you, but I always knew I could never be good for you. It doesn't mean I don't love you, or that I'm not proud to be your mother, but I'm not good at the day to day."

"I get it Mom, and I'm okay with that, really. But you can't walk in here and criticize my life and my family, either. You don't have that right. No one does."

"Well, I'm sorry if I upset you. It wasn't my intention. I just thought it would be nice to spend some time together, while I'm in town."

Alexis sighed, and plopped herself tiredly, to the barstool behind her.

Kate cleared her throat and stepped out from the cover of her husband's arm, stepping forward slightly, separating herself. Castle marvelled at his wife's diplomacy, giving her a wink of encouragement as he took their granddaughter from her arms.

"Why don't you join us today, Meredith? You are more than welcome, and I think you'd really enjoy the spa. Emerson and Lily love to have their toes painted, and Martha and my father are joining us for brunch at Q3, afterwards."

At the hesitation steeling across the redhead's features, Kate stepped forward and took the older woman's hand.

"We'd really love to have you with us."

"Well," Meredith hesitated, once again. "If you're sure there's space."

Castle smiled at his eldest daughter, as she rose from the stool and slid beside him.

"There will always be space, Meredith. We'll make sure of it."

A fleeting expression of true emotion crossed her face, and for the first time, in a long time, she smiled genuinely.

"This place is awesome, Mom. The little kids get to create their own facial masks and lip gloss, and they have massage therapists for hand and foot massages before the mani-pedis. It's so amazing. They even serve cocktails for the adults and mocktails for the little kids. It's very glamorous."

Emerson raced forward, halting rapidly in front of the actress as she held up her pointer finger with wonder.

"Mine fingers get lellow."

Meredith grinned, and knelt down in front of the toddler, reaching for her finger with delight.

"Well, that's wonderful. Yellow is the perfect color for you, sunshine."

The dark-haired toddler looked to her father for brief reassurance before throwing herself into the fray beside her niece.

"I can make scrub. Mommy says it makes the softest hands ever."

"Really?" Meredith beamed, truly in her element with a newly captive audience. "Well that sounds fantastic. I would love to try some of your magic scrub.

Alexis smiled happily towards her father, as he rejoined his wife, kissing her head in gratitude for his daughter's grin. The young woman mouthed a silent 'thank you' and moved to join her daughter and sister, as they regaled Meredith with beauty tips and their plans for the day.

"You're amazing, you know that?"

"You're damn right I am" Kate quirked an eyebrow and sidled to a bar stool, setting herself down with more grace than Rick thought possible when seven months pregnant with twin boys.

Her husband rested on elbows, across the counter from where she sat, mimicking his position, and he rapidly leaned forward to kiss the tip of her nose. He loved the sound she made when she giggled.

"You made her day. Alexis, I mean."

"I know what you meant."

Kate sighed and watched her family, across the room.

"She needs her mother. I know that. As much as I love her, and as much as I can be there for her now, I can't ever replace Meredith, in Alexis' life. Nor would I want to. What Alexis and I have is unconventional, but it's ours, you know?"

Castle grinned and kissed her nose again.

"I know. And she does too."

"Now, with all this maudlin talk out of the way, my walk this morning just made the monsters restless and hungry, so I'm going to need a shower and breakfast before we head out. French toast?"

"Whatever my lady desires. I live to serve."

"And you do it so well."

It was her turn to lean forward for a kiss to his nose, before she rose.

"Why don't you girls go show Auntie Mer your beautiful dresses and shoes, and pick out something pretty to wear, while I grab a quick shower and change?"

"Sounds like a plan, doesn't it silly girls?" Alexis clapped. "Are we thinking pigtails or braids today?"

"The hair salon will be open in the kitchen when you're ready," she heard her husband call out to the stampede of footsteps as they ascended the stairs from the room behind her.

Kate shook her head in mild amusement, as she slipped into the bedroom. Never in her wildest dreams, could she have imagined a family of actresses and ex-wives and a house full of children, or even half of the ways in which her life had turned out. She caught a glimpse of her mother's photo, from its spot on her dressing table, and she caressed the still image of a young Johanna, with her fingertip. She could imagine her mother's delight at the wild and chaotic life her daughter had made for herself, and she smiled wistfully, a hand atop her swollen belly, as her sons wriggled with life, inside her.

She had never been particularly spiritual, or superstitious, but Kate felt her mother's presence, more in that moment than ever before, and she smiled into the empty space of the room.

"Happy Mother's Day, Mom."


	29. Pulling the Goalie

"Richard Castle!"

His attention was snapped from Nikki and Rook at the dangerous tone in his wife's voice, a sense of déjà vu reminiscent of their very first case together.

"I didn't do anything this time. I know it."

"Oh, you did something alright."

Kate strode into the office, her heels clicking angrily on the hardwood.

"You mind telling me what the hell this is?"

A thin strip of white plastic smacked to the desk in front of him, and he winced; equally affected by the noise and his wife's stormy expression.

"Um…" he looked down at the offending plastic, uncovered now, by his wife's hand. "Wait, is that what I think it is?"

"It is what you think it is. Do you mind telling me why it has a little pink plus sign on it?"

"Wait, where did you find that? Is Alexis…?"

"Would I be this pissed off it belonged to Alexis, Rick?"

"Wait, you…?"

"Yeah, Castle. Me. According to this, you managed to go and knock me up. Again!"

Beckett began to pace.

"How in the hell is this even possible? You told me you had a vasectomy."

"I did," Rick shouted indignantly. "You think I sat on a bag of peas for two weeks for theatre?"

"God," Kate visibly deflated, sinking to the sofa underneath his office window. "I'm pregnant. How did this even happen?"

"Well…"

"Don't even, Castle. I swear to God I will murder you in this office and put your body in the garbage disposal."

"That's…" he shook his head, grimacing slightly, as he dismissed his thought in favor of survival.

"What the Hell are we going to do with another baby, Rick? Another one? I'm 42 years old, we have three kids under the age of 10, and I'm so fucking tired. Oh God."

Castle stepped towards his wife as she dropped her head into her hands and groaned in obvious despair.

"Hey. It's going to be okay, sweetheart."

She cast him a thunderous glare, and he stopped in his tracks, holding up his hands in self defense. And then the tears came. Fast.

All thoughts of self defense went out the window and he dropped like a stone at her side, tugging her into his arms as she cried.

"I can't do this again, Castle. I love our kids so much, but it's so hard already. How are we supposed to juggle your work, and my work, and three little kids, and a baby? You're in your fifties, by the time this kid is grown, you'll be seventy, Rick. I thought we were done."

Castle choked inwardly, at the thoughts her words created in his mind, but he continued to caress her back supportively.

"We're going to get through this exactly the way we've made it through everything else life has thrown at us, Beckett. Together. I'm not going anywhere, and we've done just fine so far, making it all work. Our kids are amazing, and smart, and happy, and loved. We have more than enough to make room for another one, there's no way our lives could ever be too full for that."

"We're both stretched so thin, Rick. Between the precinct and trying to split my attention between them, and you, I don't even have any time left for myself. What do I take away from to give a baby the attention it needs? Lily? The boys? I already feel like I can't give them as much as they need from me."

"They're fine, Kate. They're great. They know how much you love them, and they're proud of everything you do. They don't need any more than that."

"What about space? Where are we going to put another kid? The boys aren't going to want to share a room forever, so where do we get the space for four kids?"

"I've actually been wanting to talk to you about that."

Kate raised her head, and wiped her eyes, a look of trepidation darkening her features.

"It's nothing crazy. I'm not talking about selling the loft and moving into the suburbs, I know how much you'd hate that. Nothing much would have to change, we'd just have more space to expand a bit."

"What are you talking about?"

"Mr. Calloway, from downstairs got caught up in one of Jake's conversations, in the lobby, and we got to talking. His wife is having trouble, forgetting what stops to take on the subway, and it's getting more difficult for him to manage on his own. Their son lives in Arizona. He built them a house on his property, but they've been resisting. He thinks maybe it's time to make that move."

"What does that have to do with us?"

"He wasn't sure if he'd sell their apartment, or lease it out. I told him I may be interested in making him a very generous offer, after running it by you, of course."

He had the sense to at least appear chastened, but her hesitation remained.

"You're losing me, Rick. Let's cut to the chase, huh."

"I want to buy his apartment. It's one floor below ours. We can renovate the space into our offices, or a master suite, with two smaller apartments, and divide the floor space up here into a bigger, more divided room for the twins."

"I don't completely understand this master scheme of yours."

"Our parents are getting older, Kate. They're going to need more care soon, but knowing your father and my mother, as I do, I know they aren't going to give up their independence, willingly. So, if we have two small apartments within arms reach of our home, everyone gets what they need."

"And you think our parents are just going to fall in line with your little plan? Have you met your mother?"

"I'm not talking about tomorrow, Kate. I'm talking about the five-year plan. We have the space we need for now, and when my mom, and your dad feel like it's time, they have their own home waiting for them here, where they can have a quiet dinner alone, or just pop upstairs for breakfast with the kids. Your dad can watch baseball games on tv with the kids, my mother can give Lily piano lessons after school, and no one has to leave the building. It would be great for everyone."

"You've thought about this a lot."

"Yeah, I have. Not the baby part, obviously, that's kind of a new development. Unexpected, but not unwanted, Kate. I love the idea of having another baby with you."

"Seriously?"

She did not look as touched by his sentiment as he would have liked, but ever the optimist, Richard Castle plodded on.

"Our family is the best thing that has ever happened to me, Kate. Our kids are incredible, and I love that I get to share that with you. We made it work so far because we're partners, so we make a few adjustments to the routine, and we make it work all over again. If anyone can do it, it's you and me."

Beckett chewed her lower lip, thoughtfully, her gaze remaining fixed to his.

"You really believe that?"

"Yeah, Kate, I do. And you do too."

She deflated yet again, dropping her forehead to his shoulder.

"I do."

"So, what's stopping us?"

"On which part, because you already pulled the goalie and the baby is already in full production."

"On all of it. We invite the Calloways to dinner, let our kids charm the pants off them, and make them an offer to buy their place. We get an architect in here to redesign the space downstairs and cut in the floor up here with another staircase. We go to our parents with blueprints, and our ideas, and we tell them about the baby. I don't think either one of them will resist the idea as much as you think they will."

She let out a strangled sound of acceptance, or defeat, and sighed again, before raising her eyes to meet his.

"Is this really happening?"

"Do you remember how it felt when Lily got the hiccups the first time, in your belly? Or how you cried at every ultrasound and how big your smile was, every time you heard their heartbeats?"

Kate smiled softly at the memories and twined her fingers with his.

"How about when you heard them cry for the first time, or held them in your arms? How hard you laughed when Lily thought coughing was hilarious?"

Her eyes slid closed with the memories, and he couldn't help but steal a soft kiss, at her dreamy expression.

"We can have that all again, one last time. I don't know about you, but I think that's pretty damn amazing."

Beckett huffed out a soft chuckle of acceptance.

"It is, I know it is, I'm just…"

"In shock. I get it. We weren't expecting this, and it's a lot to process. But we got this, you and I."

"I love you, you know that? You're so good for me."

He accepted the kiss she offered, with a happy hum.

"I love you too. And my greatest achievement in life, is that I can be that for you. You do the same for me. That's why we work."

"And here I was thinking it was just the amazing sex."

"Well, you're not wrong. Speaking of amazing sex…"

"Not a chance in Hell, Castle. You're not getting anywhere near me with that, until you make an appointment to get that shut down for good."

"But Kate…" he whined.

"Nuh uh, buddy. Don't even try it, with me. This is not happening again, you got that. This baby factory is being shut down, condemned, all access denied."

"I got it," he sighed.

"Just to clarify, though. I did only say, until you made the appointment, in case you were wondering. I mean, it's not like I can get more pregnant, right?"

"You are a very smart woman, you know that? And you are absolutely right."

"The phone's over there, Rick."

"Right, I'm just gonna…"

"Phone. Now. I'll be waiting."

His reply was cut off by the sound of retreating heels, and the soft contact her bra made with his forehead.


	30. A Time to Heal

The ocean churned as the dark clouds, heavy with the impending rain, thundered across the sky. The afternoon was bleak and grey, but Kate found comfort in the sensory overload the summer storm provided. She lay on her side along the length of the supple leather sectional, hand cushioned beneath her cheek as she drifted in and out of awareness, lulled by the melody of nature's fury.

She was not entirely uncomfortable, for the first time in nearly a week, since they had arrived in the Hamptons; fluffy pillows wedged between her knees and arms, another behind her back, all holding her in place under the warmth of her favourite throw blanket. The ache and pull of her abdominal muscles, and healing tissue, was quiet for once, finally able to rest with the soft support the couch provided.

She felt small, gaunt, and hollowed out, amongst the bedding, but she could sense her body working tirelessly to repair the damage the bullets had done, and for the first time in a very long time, Kate Beckett simply allowed herself to be still and let the necessary occur.

"That was a big sigh."

She hummed softly and cracked open an eye to the approaching form above her. Her father crouched before her, pills and a glass of water in his hands, a package of saltine crackers under his arm.

"Four-star dinner for my girl."

"Yum," Kate rolled her eyes, inching her body upright. Her movements were slow and deliberate, her deep breaths guiding her flow as she held her father's outstretched arms for support. When she was fully settled, he went through the motions of adjusting pillows around her, and lifting her legs to the wide leather ottoman. She watched as he fussed, tucking her socked feet under the blankets, before returning to the water glass and crackers. Kate accepted the pills wordlessly, swallowing a cold mouthful of water, and smiling a quiet thanks as her father handed over the crackers.

"Thanks Dad."

"You need anything else? Alexis made lasagna, and I should help her tidy up."

"Will you sit with me for a bit?"

Jim looked tentatively down the hall, towards the large kitchen, before easing in to sit beside his daughter.

"How are you, Dad?"

Kate didn't expect the surprised sound of pained mirth that escaped her father's chest. By the look on his face, he hadn't quite expected it either.

"Sorry Katie-bug. Shouldn't I be the one asking you that?"

"I think we all know how I'm doing. I feel like I've been asleep for days."

"Well, that's a good thing. You're getting better."

"I am, Dad."

She sighed and settled her head on her father's weary shoulder.

"You know, you don't have to get shot every time you want me to take some time off work."

Kate stifled a surprised laugh and winced at the sudden shock from her abs.

"Gallows-humor, from my father? You have been spending entirely too much time with Rick."

"He certainly does seem to have the ability to lighten things up a bit. I can see why you kept him around."

She smiled softly and closed her eyes, letting the sounds of the storm and the familiar scent of her father's laundry detergent soothe her.

"He hasn't been lurking, has he? Did you have to shoo him out with a broom today?"

"Not today, no. He kept the lurking to a minimum."

"I'm surprised he didn't bound in here as soon as I woke up."

"Physio," her father replied, the single word conveying enough meaning for them both.

"Is he okay?" Kate whispered, sadly.

"Not especially. It was bad today. He got sick."

A silent tear slid down her cheek, and she brushed it away angrily. "Why didn't anyone wake me up?"

"For what, Katie? There's nothing you could have done for him. He's having a hard-enough time getting through it on his own without having to worry about upsetting you too. Sometimes you just have to let a man do what he needs to do."

"'Cause that went so well for you and I?"

It shocked her, how effortlessly the thought slipped from her mouth. It seemed to shock her father too, if the stiffening of his shoulder was any indication, but his reaction was short lived. He sighed and squeezed her hand, gently.

"Rick isn't me, Katie. He's a far better man, and he loves you far too much to do anything stupid."

"I know, Dad. I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry. You get to be disappointed in me, the same way I get to hate that we keep ending up here, with you full of bullet-holes."

"Geez, don't hold back, Dad." Kate pushed herself away reclining against the cushions of the couch once more.

"You know, what? I'm done holding back, Katherine, it doesn't seem to be getting us anywhere, and frankly, I'm getting too old to be seeing my daughter on the brink of death."

"What would you like me to do, take out an add in the Times and ask psychopaths to stop trying to kill me in my home? Because I'm not sure what page that would go on."

"Don't talk to me like this is some isolated incident, Katherine. Neither of us are that naïve. I know you, and the way you run headlong into things. You can't ask me to believe this hasn't been brewing for months, you moving into some shitty hotel, walking away from a man I watched you vow to love for the rest of your life, only a few months earlier, to bust up a crime syndicate hours before someone tries to take you both out."

"So it's my fault, that's what you're saying?"

"No. I'm saying you need to stop this need for chaos, you seem to have, and just be alive for once. You don't need to fix the world, Katie. You have a family; a husband who loves you more than I could have ever hoped for you; and people who need you to be alive and happy."

She dragged the sleeve of Rick's sweatshirt across her face, angrily erasing the tears that cascaded down her pale cheeks.

"I'm so damn afraid for that baby, Katie. I'm so afraid that your mother and I have ruined whatever life you could have made for yourself, and that baby is going to have to live your life all over again. Motherless and trying to fix the world."

"Jesus, Dad."

"I want you to understand, Kate. I just need for you to see that the mistakes I made don't need to be yours. You have a chance to be happy. I hope to God you finally let yourself take it."

Movement from the side of the room caught her eye, and she watched as her husband leaned his good arm against the wall for support, his expression torn between fierce protection and the need for resolution. They made eye contact, and she held his gaze, through the tears that refused to end.

"I swear to you, Dad, on whatever it is you want me to swear on, that this is it. It's done. I am finished. This baby, this family, this life are the most important things in the entire world to me. I want to watch my daughter grow up. I want to see her dance with her father and watch the Mets play, and fall in love, and I will be damned if anything gets in the way of that."

"That's part of the problem, isn't it? You don't need to fix everything, Katie. Sometimes the world is horrible, and sometimes you have to accept that you can't fight all the evil out there. Sometimes you have to choose yourself over everyone else."

"I'm a cop, Dad. I can't just sit back and let bad things happen if I can stop them."

"You know what I'm talking about, Katie. I'm not saying don't stop catching the bad guys, I'm saying you need to pick your battles. You seem to have a penchant for the wars."

"I sincerely hope that two high-level conspiracies are enough to get me a lifetime pass from ever having to deal with one again. I'm not going to look the other way if one crosses my path again, but I've put in more than my time. Someone else can take a turn. I want early nights, bedtime stories and building forts and making dinner with my family. I don't need the fights, Dad. I need you and Martha and Alexis and Rick and our baby. That's it. Even if that means signing on for a completely normal life, which I'm fairly certain is already ruled out in my marriage license."

"Hey," he finally spoke, summoning what little energy he had to feign indignation. "I resemble that remark."

Alexis appeared around from the other end of the hall, looking sheepish for interrupting the heated discussion, but drawn to her father's voice.

Jim refused to be put off, the set of his jaw was firm, and he held fast to his spot on the sofa, even as Rick walked gingerly into the room and settled in a chair, Alexis plopping to the floor at his legs as he twined his finger into her hair absently.

"You know what, this is ridiculous," Kate huffed, craning her neck towards the kitchen. "Martha."

"Should I bring the good drugs, darling"

"No, thank you, Martha, I have been sufficiently sedated. I won't bite today."

"And for the rest of us?"

"This will only take a moment. I need everyone to be a part of this conversation."

"Oh, well then," Martha winced, clearly unnerved by her inability to bring her trademark levity.

"I love you all," Kate began without hesitation. "I want as normal and simple a life as humanly possible, in our circumstances. I push papers ninety percent of the day. My work is significantly less dangerous than it used to be. I don't have any desire to seek out danger, I am happy with a weekend in my pyjamas, watching reruns and doing laundry. I want this baby. I want her to be happy and healthy in every way possible. I want her to have a solid family, a safe home. I want to live. I've made a lot of mistakes, but this family is the best thing that has ever happened to me, and I would like to be a part of it for a good, long while, if it's alright with you."

Castle made a move to stand, clearly disturbed by her tears and his inability to stop them from across the room, but she shook her head abruptly, stilling his movements.

"Don't hide from me Rick. Don't try and protect me from things because you're afraid of what I'll do. If you're hurting, let me help you. If you're scared, let me be there. I need to help you as much as you need to help me. You've seen all the ugly parts of me, and you're still here. I'm not going anywhere, so let me see you. You need your partner in all of this, just as much as I need mine."

Alexis squeezed her father's knee affectionately as he nodded wordlessly.

"Dad?" Kate cleared her throat and set her attention to her father once more. "Do you believe me when I tell you we will never be here again?" She slid her hand under her shirt, needing the warm contact of her palm against the still numb skin across her belly, as close to her baby as she could get.

"I'd like to…"

"Dad! Do you believe in me? Do you believe that I'm going to give this baby the best life I possibly can?"

The room was silent, save for the churning of the ocean, for a moment before he spoke.

"Of course I do, Katie."

She deflated visibly, the emotional and physical toll of holding herself up, finally taking hold. Her vision swam, adrenaline and medication alike, and her eyes fluttered to stay open.

"Come on now Sweetheart," suddenly, Rick was at her side, his good arm bearing her weight as he eased her down to the couch. "Let's get you back to sleep."

"I love you, Rick. So much."

"No more tears, beautiful. I love you too. You're doing so great, taking care of her. Just close your eyes and sleep now."

"Will you stay?"

"I'll be right here, Kate. As long as you need me."

"Forever?" she had forgotten how strong the pull of the painkillers could be, she felt disjointed and loopy with exhaustion.

"Forever's perfect." His lips were warm against the dampness of her forehead, and she sighed as he set the pillows around her, just right. "Just sleep now, and keep working on our little superhero."

"I'm sorry."

"We're done with sorries now, okay. No more sorries for the rest of our lives."

She hummed as the pull and exhaustion claimed the rest of her strength.

"You should hang onto a few of them, Dad. God knows you need them a lot."

Her husband's resounding "Hey," and his daughter's giggle took her to sleep with a smile.

* * *

 _I wish it wasn't so long between updates, I crave writing, my fingers are itching and the episodes are pouring out, but I am working like a machine these days, and my health hasn't been great. I had forgotten how good it feels to just get it out, and I'm trying to make more active attempts to do things to take care of my physical and mental health, so I hope to start getting this out a lot more frequently._

 _This chapter started out one place and wrote itself into a completely different corner, but I think it was inevitable for everyone. It's a little darker than I had intended, but there are a lot of wounds that need to be healed with every single relationship and dynamic. We've only seen a few onscreen, but to envision the future as I see it, some mending has to take place._

 _Thank you again for all your responses and for all the followers they've gained. I still love writing their story, and I can't imagine a day when there aren't any more chapters to tell._


	31. Coming Home

Hey guys. Sorry for the long wait for this one. I wish I could just sit home and write all day long, but duty calls. Kids won't stop eating or growing, and I'm stuck going to work until they turn 18 and leave the house. :p But, I am managing to clean up the house projects and hopefully one day soon, I will actually have free time to write outside of my fits of insomnia at 3 am. I love that you guys are sticking with this story as deeply as I am. I have an entire folder of unwritten or half written drabbles, and I still find my happy place inside them, so I'm not going anywhere for a long while yet. The story will go on, I promise.

Just a little one for today, though. This one has been pinging around my head for days, and it needed to come out.

Thanks again for sticking with me, and this little family I love so much. I hope you are all well.

Enjoy!

J

* * *

It was dark, nearly 3 am, according to the clock on the dashboard of her police issued, Dodge Charger.

Exhaustion twisted its way through her muscles, and around her bones. After nearly two full days on this case; no solid leads, and too solid alibis; they had found their missing piece and made the arrest, and Kate Beckett had finally crashed. The impact of too little sleep, and too much coffee, hit her like a freight train, and she wanted nothing more than to crawl into her bed and sleep for a week.

Gates had accepted the paperwork with a simple nod of the head, and ordered them all home for the next 48 hours, citing overtime, and something about detectives being useless like this, but Kate could see the fatigue wearing on her captain as well. Cases like these took their toll on everyone, it seemed.

Autopilot drove Beckett to gather her things from her desk, toss them haphazardly on the passenger seat of her Charger, and finally on the streets towards her apartment.

Castle had stayed by her side, plying them all with coffee and carbs, until his yawns were nearly on top of one another. When he refused to go home, she had resorted to playing dirty. A covert call to Alexis, asking the girl to summon her father home for dinner, was all it took.

He had leaned down to kiss her goodbye before realizing where they were, putting his acting skills to good use to cover up the slip. He had reached for his back with a groan, bemoaning his chair for the supposed ache. Esposito had taken the bait and had laughingly referred to Castle as an old man and Kate smiled her love to Rick, as he grumbled toward the elevators.

Her lips curled up at the memory of his parting wink, as she guided the Charger into a mercifully empty spot along the curb, less than a block from her front entrance. Beckett didn't even register the walk to the building, nor the elevator ride up. It wasn't until she stood outside the apartment door, keys in hand that she realized what she had done.

She had gone to him.

It was Rick's front door that stood as the final barrier between her and the sleep her body craved. The mechanical, drive home, had brought her here, despite the wanderings of her mind to her own bed. It should have terrified her, Kate had only been sharing his bed for a few months now. Their nights together were sporadic, they both still had their work, their chores, and Kate knew she clung to her independence a little too fiercely at times, but she loved the feeling of his body curled alongside hers in sleep.

She didn't give herself the opportunity to wage the internal war she could feel beginning, instead she slipped her key into the lock and stepped into the warm sanctuary of the Castle home. Kate dropped her shoes and her purse into a heap on the floor of the front closet, padding softly towards his office to lock up her gun. She ignored the contents of his safe, as she had done since the day he had told her she might as well have the combination, stowing her gun quickly. The gentle snores she could hear from within his darkened bedroom were like a siren song, drawing her in to blessed rest.

Kate watched him sleep, with a smile, leaving her clothes in a pile on the floor. She refused to let herself think about it, when she plucked a t-shirt from the top of his laundry hamper and slid it over her head.

Rick didn't stir as she eased between the sheets, and settled in with a sigh. Sleep came hard and fast, and she just barely registered the weight of his hand on her upturned hip and the firm cove of his body along her spine. His murmured words of love were lost in the tangle of her hair, and her unfettered consciousness gave her one final thought before claiming her completely.

He was her home.


End file.
